He broke it off with me...why does he keep on calling me?

Question

About four months ago, my boyfriend of just a couple months broke up with me because he didn’t feel that he could handle our long distance relationship. I was completely shocked and devastated. I still have strong feelings for him and I’m having a hard time trying to get over him mainly because he constantly calls me/text messages me wanting to know how I am doing. He also tells me that he misses me. I’ve asked him a couple times if he wants to get back together but he says its not a good idea because of the distance. I've told him that it would be best if he didn't contact me, and he agrees, but then a week later, he'll call/text me. I understand that he doesn’t want to be with me because if he did, we would be together. I just don’t understand why he is stringing me along. There is a possibility that in a few months he may be moving back to where I live, which makes me wonder if he’s stringing me along so that I’ll be here waiting for him when or if he comes back. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

This is only my opinion, but I honestly think he regrets breaking up with you. I think he really does want a chance to get back together if you are willing to allow the possiblilty. You say he might be moving back closer to you, so my advice to you is indeed keep that possibility open.

Answer 2

It doesn't seem like he's stringing you along. He seems to be dealing with you honestly. A couple of months is not at all a long time. In fact, it seems like you broke up and were apart longer than you were together.

Maybe he still considers you to be a friend. Maybe he does want to be with you but can't handle a long distance relationship (like he already told you). Not being able to handle a long distance relationship is not an indication that he doesn't have feelings for you. It does indicate he's mindful of meeting new girls in his area and wants to leave the door open in case he develops an interest in someone. He seems to be trying to protect you from that or some other heartbreak that could occur with either one of you. There's nothing wrong with that.

Why do you still accept his calls/texts? If you really didn't want to talk to him, then you wouldn't. You don't have to accept any of his contacts. It seems like both of you want to talk to each other just not in a relationship. Maybe you two can just remain friends. You see who you want and he does the same. When/If he comes back to your side of town and you can make a more permanent situation, then your relationship was meant to be.

Answer 3

Almost the exact thing is happening with me. He doesn't know what he wants. Tell him that he seriously needs to leave you alone until he figures out what he wants and leave it open if you still care for him. Long distance relationships are really hard and even though he is being immature, I can understand why a guy would act that way. He cares for you, but it is too hard for him to be involved in a relationship from far away. Good luck.

Answer 4

I don't think long distance relationships last . I think that it is very possible he is stringing you along. Tell him to let you know if he is moving back to where you live, and to call you when he dose. In the meantine to stop calling so you can move on. Start dating and going out and do some fun things to keep youself busy. Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.

Answer 5

Do yourself a favour with this guy...cut all communication with him as this is as you said making it hard for you to move on. Who knows what he is thinking, but all we know is that your just trying to get things together.

One strategy to cope with this situation, firstly delete all numbers from phone email etc and when he does text/call/email carrier pigon etc do not respond or answer.

Your better than this and its time to give your heart a break, as breakups are really stressful at the best of times and it doesn't help when the other person kepts trying to keep in contact with you.

I've included a website which might you with further strategies