relationships suck, adivce needed )=?

Question

hello everyone,
well ive been with the b/f for 3 years this past i would say 6 months has been really hard for us, we are still young both 20 but throughout our hole relationship he has never really kept a job longer then a year if even well for the past 6 months he has ahd not job he quite the last one becuase he didnt like the manager. well its been really hard becuase we dont really get to go out and while staying in is nice a girl needs things once in a while. well he finally got a job and is supposed to start today but he doesnt want to take it becuase its a gravyard shift. so here we go again disapointment. just when i thought things were going to happen for us he let me down this has been happenign for 6 months he gets a job and then dosent. should i let him go? i dont feel like he is secure that he wont be able to take care of me in the future yes we are young but shouldnt this show me how he will be down the road...it life goal is to have his own consturction buissness but

but he keeps avoiding consturction..im just lost i dont think i can hold on its just never ending...but i love him so much i cant even imagine myself without him...nothing me or his friends say helps...i my brain tells me to let him go but my heart my emotions cant...

hes lost me 2 times before and that didnt show him how it is without me i tried that one

Answer 1

Girl that is nothing in the past 6mth I have had 16 different jobs not say that is a good that but look at it in the bright side at least he is not setting on his *** waiting for something to happened he is going out there and getting a job, some do that much..... Pick and choose you battles wisely, now I understand that you want to go out and do things hopefully you have money of your own and not depending on him to take you out do it for you self go out with your girls and leave his *** at home since he likes so much let him be at home with his self and you go enjoy your day with you friends I know when I did that with my man he realized it and remember that I am not the type to always spins my money on us he has to be a man and you also have to allow him to be one.

Answer 2

Hi, I'm 20 also and I've been w/ my bf for 1 and half. He's from the UK and is also into construction. Unfortunately he is now realizing that it isn't a great field to get into. The money isn't good. He's been through three jobs since we've been together. None for more than a year. But I try to support him no matter what. He tries really hard at all his jobs. That's what counts. If your bf loves you and wants a future with you, he should be doing the same. You can't be too picky when it comes jobs. Especially,if it's just for money. Separate the job from your personal life. Good look!

Answer 3

Sounds to me like he doesn't have any true goals right now. He's looking at things in a "future" state rather then a "now" state. He has to understand that he won't get his construction business without putting in some hard work. It's a very rare situation when people just have their dreams fall into their laps without hard work and sacrifice. But to be honest with you, there's nothing that you can do to make him more responsible right now. You are not married so he doesn't have to take care of you, per say. I know it would be nice if he were able to pay for some things every now and then, but in reality, he's not obligated to do so, you know? If you want to hang around, go for it, but just know that there is nothing you can do but wait it out and hope he gets the point.

Answer 4

Examine your heart where only you can see. What would your life be, if you were not with him. Would you be miserable, would you be happy?
I know that it's hard when the man you love has problems like this. But before you make any decisions, make sure it's what you want. Maby if you just move on for a while, it would give him a taste of what it would be like with out you. I'm not saying to see others or like that. I just mean to maby go out on your own for a while and see if he improves. Maby he just thinks you are going to just keep putting up with him, if he thinks you could be lost and you are not putting up with him, he may change his attitude and get serious about working. We all have to do it unless we have rich parents or something to support us. Maby you just have to move in with a friend or something until he gets his priorities straight. Tell him you will be back if and when he has a good job and keeps it. And if he just keeps doing what he's doing even in the face of losing you, then he don't love you anyway. And you need to move on. He may be just taking advantage of your love and have you keep supporting him. Show him that your love could be gone and then what would he do. Would he care?

Answer 5

I think you really need to sit down first and figure out what you want. What I hear is: you are tired of your deadbeat boyfriend who can't hold down a job and give you what you want/need. You may be sending your boyfriend mixed messages. he may think that if you are understanding about his job situation (switching jobs, not holding one down, being particular) and are happy. You may be happy with him, but you are not happy with his behavior.
Then, I would sit down and talk to your boyfriend about how you feel (constructively). If he really cares about you, he will understand where you are coming from and possibly try to meet you in the middle. If you guys have been together for three years, maybe your relationship is getting stale and needs a boost. All relationships are work. To reap the benefits of a good one, you need to put good stuff into it. Communication is the key. In the end, you may feel that it is time to go your seperate ways or you may find a renewal in your relationship together. I would do something about the situation sooner rather than later...it will only get worse. Good luck and Best wishes to you both.

Answer 6

Relationships aren't bad, but a whole lot of guys are. You need to start by asking yourself why you want to be in a relationship, and if you're honest with yourself, the answer to your dilema will be obvious. Relationships aren't just about affection, but rather are about trust, honesty, respectability and admiration. Relationships are also about two people helping one another by giving more of themselves than they take. Ask yourself if these qualities are present in your relationship today. It sounds to me like they aren't, and if so, you've been together long enough to see the "real" man that you're currently with. The source of your personal troubles is that he's not trustworthy enough, not honest enough, not respectable enough, and this means that he's not really admirable enough either. Start your life over immediately by moving on - - get a job, get a new place to live, get involved in different activities, and put him behind you. The sooner you move on, the sooner you will find the future that you truly desire. Do it - - do it now - - the pain will be short - - and you are strong enough, aren't you?

Answer 7

The good news is that it's a proven fact that if a person has fallen IN LOVE once they are the ones who are twice as likely to fall in love AGAIN! Make the 2nd b/f be proven as a bread winner before agreeing to even go on ONE date with him. I had a job hopper...traded him in on a career man! Much steadier! More secure! And I'm hopelessly IN LOVE with this career man! I wasn't in love as much with my X...we had two kids together. I wish my x the best! He's been holding down a job for two yrs now. Will be 3 yrs this August! But I had to leave him before he took life more serious. good luck

Answer 8

Satisfy brain and heart. Continue to love him all you want, but move out and support yourself. If you're depending on him for money you're inviting conflict. Remove that conflict and you'll be able to see things more clearly.

Answer 9

Honey, this is a good indication of how things will always be. Sadly, he doesn't seem like he posesses much motivation, and will probably job-hop most of his life. Break off with him now.

Answer 10

Bread over love!