Why does my boyfriend think cooking for him should be #1 top priority?

Question

Hello Planet:

I need your advise once again, My boyfriend is 49 yrs. old and I am 36 yrs. old he has very old school ways for instance he thinks I should have a meal prepare, cooked and served to him when he has finished a long hard days work. Granted we don't even live or share any financial responsibilities together.

I've tried to make him understand that I work 11hours days and raising a 13 yr. old daughter alone is very draining. I try to catch up with some yard work before nightfall and talk with my daughter about her day when I get home from work.

He thinks I'm a very selfish person for putting other things ahead of him. I really do care for him as a partner. He has very high goals and morals. I can depend on him most of the time.

I think he's very jealous of my dog also he calls him a son of a B**** on a regular basis.

What can I do to balance this ongoing situation?

Answer 1

he thinks YOUR selfish because your putting other things in front of him? Well, obviously he's selfish.
I doubt he'll listen to you if you try to talk it out. Either live with it, or get out.

Answer 2

Your man is traditional! I am a very modern person so maybe my view might be biased.

You work an 11hour shift which is more than an excuse not cook for him. Then, on top of that you have a teenage daughter which should be your main priority when you come home, not fixing a meal for your boyfriend.

I think he is a selfish person along with trying to be controlling.
You should be with someone who can respect your work situation as well as your family situation. If you were to continue this relationship maybe you should see if you guys can alternate cooking nights. Find a compromise.

If you can't find a compromise maybe he isn't the one for you because you should not have to bend over backwards for someone who seems to be immature and selfish.

Answer 3

Is it possible that his father was the breadwinner of the family and his mom stayed at home cooking for him? If that's the case, he'll likely feel some inadaquacies if he doesn't have a woman treat him like that. Some men will actually get quite pushy and angry if they don't get what they believe is entitled to them. Even the nicest most caring men have some mental issues that can cause them all kinds of problems in late life. Read: 70yr old grumpies... They're that way for a reason. His resentment towards you is likely just built up as a result of his own dissatisfaction with his own life. If you really want to fix this, my advice is to show him how much you care for him by sitting down and talking with him. Let him know how important it is that he talks WITH you. If he is not responsive to this, then it is going to be an uphill battle. 49 years is a long time to be living with a closed mind... expecting things to change with one conversation is reaching for the stars. I truly hope things get better for you, there isn't enough good men in the world to go around.

Edit: I wasn't going to say it at first, but... My personal opinion is that you should find someone else... I know how hard that can be, but sometimes it's harder to stay with someone that treats you badly then it is to find someone else... Or even just staying single! Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Some men are like this, and you can't change it. It has a lot to do with their upbringing, and they end up being controlling and demanding. Wifely duties should be enjoyable and a man has to understand what else a busy woman and mother has to do. Sometimes he should pitch in a little, and lay off. HE is selfish. Find someone else. You are not being appreciated or respected by him.

Answer 5

No. you will desire to be your individual priority and permit human beings be their very own. i do no longer understand love or why human beings in love provide greater value to their companion than themselves. this is a exceedingly irrational habit, nevertheless, human beings discover it widespread. It is going against survival instinct. i does not care if I wasn't my lady pal's priority. additionally, of direction his kin, acquaintances, paintings, automobile and apartment come earlier you. this is simply by fact he desires those issues. He does not want you.

Answer 6

This man is very controlling and could be dangerous. Being a mother, he should never expect to come before your daughter. You are entitled to have your own life away from him. If he's expecting you to cook all his meals for him, regardless of whether you have things to do or not, he is also a child, not a man. Calling your dog names is also a good indication of his character. I say drop the bastard before the situation worsens. If you can't get away for yourself, do so for your daughter. By allowing this man to continue to control your life, you're teaching your daughter that this is ok. You're teaching her that she needs to sacrifice her life to please a man. You're teaching her that it's acceptable to suffer abuse from a man. These are not good lessons to be teaching your child.

Answer 7

Sorry hun but it sounds to me like you need to dump him. If he can't understand that you work too and you have a child and home to care for then he's not worth the ground you walk on.

Answer 8

He treats you like **** because you let him. I don't care how old you are or how many kids you have. You can do better. Even if not for you, but for you kid. You don't want to raise the child thinking that this is acceptable.

Answer 9

Technically speaking, your dog is a son of a bi*** LOL
Your boyfriend wants either a mother or a wife. If he has such high morals, why hasn't he married you?

Answer 10

My guess is m,aybe he just cant cook lol but then again it also sounds like he's trying to make u his ***** so just make sure he doesn't start getting to serious with all of this if he does then it means he's trying to make u his dog not his lover......