My inlaws live in Florida in the winter and New York in the summer. They are financially well off. They usually come by to visit us in South Carolina on their way home. My daughter's graduation is coming up, and they sent me an email saying they will not be coming. They could have arranged their schedules differently to be here for the graduation in May, but they are leaving the week before. I just feel like they could have made the effort. Any advice?
2007-05-01 06:45:34 · 20 answers · asked by casey308 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree that they should have made the effort. It seems like they are purposely snubbing either you or her for some reason. Do you know if you, your husband, or your daughter have done anything to make them mad recently? Give them a call and tell him how disappointed your daughter is that they will not be coming, and how much she wanted them to be a part of that special day. If they still refuse to come, you are a better off without grandparents who would miss their grandchild's graduation!
2007-05-01 06:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by xeroxliz 4 · 3⤊ 3⤋
If they have said they aren't coming, then there is really not much you can do about it. It is sad that grandparents would make this choice, however, it is not a reflection on you as a parent. Try to explain to your daughter that you are sorry that her grandparents can't make it to her graduation. I assume she is used to this lack of concern from them anyway and won't be surprised. Make sure your daughter has lots of support from other family or friends for her graduation and minimize the grandparents failure to show up as much as possible. You don't want your daughter's memory of her graduation to be negative because you were angry at your inlaws for not showing up. Focus on her as much as possible and try to make the inlaws a non-issue.....for her sake. You may want to make one attempt to ask them to reconsider. Maybe they don't realize how important it is for them to be there? Maybe if you just NICELY ask them to consider rearranging their schedules, then they will see that it is important and will try to make it a priority. However, if they choose not to, then let it go and try to make it a great graduation for your daughter without them.
2007-05-01 06:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by Amy27 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahh, it's not that big of a deal. We make too much of these things, and we send the message to young people that the world is supposed to revolve around them with all of the lavish birthday parties and ceremonies (where everybody wins). Why should they re-arrange their schedule for a boring two hour event hundreds of miles away? Bottom line, millions of people will graduate, it's not that big of a deal.
2007-05-01 07:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's really their loss. Nothing you can do about their choices. I'd not dwell on it or discuss it too much with your daughter.
It's sad that they'll miss out on a momentous occasion. But like I said- it's their loss.
If you feel like it, you/your husband could ask again if they'd be able to change their plans, depending on the relationship with them.
2007-05-01 06:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that they could have arranged their schedules. But they didn't. Their decision. Perhaps they just dont see this as some big deal like you do.
I would be a little hurt of course but I'd let it go. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal. I'm sure they will go to the next one.
2007-05-01 06:49:31 · answer #5 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Are they your daughters grandparents? or is this a daughter from a previous marriage?
I would say, "Oh, Im sorry you couldnt make it to Sally's graduation. I know how much it would mean to her if you would have been able to make it. But we understand that you aren't able to make it, and hope we can get together again soon." - thereby leaving the ball in their court...you cannot force them to go, but if you let them know how appreciated their presence would be, they might change their minds.
2007-05-01 06:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
ill tell u what if u find any good advice let me know, my inlaws are just the same. they go every where for everyone elses kids but wont go out of their way for mine. ill tell u what i do, i just assure my kids that they are loved and are special to so many people..and since my kids are old enough to understand it all works out fine.
2007-05-01 07:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by shelly l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should have a careful talk with your daughter and explain that right now they have scheduling problems; and encourage her to tell them how much it would mean to her to have them there. If they don't melt at their grand-daughter's gesture you are probably all better off celebrating without them.
2007-05-01 06:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetness 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Attend your daughter's graduation and celebrate her special day. If the in-laws are lucky, you might send them pics.
2007-05-01 06:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
a s s h o l e s ! I can't believe them! How rude!! Tell them when you daughter gets married to make other plans or when she has her first child to make other plans because you don't want them there. Graduating needs support and not having her Grandparents there is really going to put things in perspective for her. You could just let your daughter talk with them and let her figure things out and finally realized the real people her Grandparents are. I can't believe that. My son and daughter are the only Grandchildren and their Grandparents weren't there for any of their special events. I say, screw them.
2007-05-01 06:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋