gay teen commits suicide after counseling from pastor...continued...?

Question

The boy was forced to go to counseling by his family...he was forced to receive the counseling from a pastor....the child is a minor. So, his family sought the advice from a pastor rather than a trained professional counselor...obviously, the family should be held somewhat responsible...but, it bothers me that pastors are not required to have psychological training before counseling troubled people.

Answer 1

I agree with you.....if you're counseling people, you should be trained to deal with problems that arise and you should be willing to admit that you don't have all the answers, no one does. But if you can't help someone, you should guide them toward someone who can help. It sounds to me like this kids' parents needed to be more tolerant and understanding instead of handing him over to someone they hoped would "fix him". That entire family needed therapy, not just the kid. It sounds like an all-around unhealthy situation, and it's terrible that this kid felt so desperate that he thought he was doing his family service by killing himself.

Answer 2

I agree, they should have seen a psychologist or psychiatrist for the teen's depression issues. But, sadly, some people commit suicide no matter how much counseling they receive.

Unless you know exactly what was said and done in those sessions with the pastor, you cannot lay blame there. Yes, some would tell him that being gay is an abomination, etc.; but some would not. Some might even encourage seeing a licensed professional when necessary. Right now - unless you have something concrete - all you have are assumptions.

Why was the family seeking counseling in the first place? Because the teen was gay and they wanted to change that? They probably knew a licensed professional wouldn't have supported that idea. Were they concerned about his depression only?

Someone, somehow failed this child - but there are too many unanswered questions to say exactly who and how.

Answer 3

Really every person, no matter their position is going to go about things in a different way. Example, yahoo answers. Like the boy couldn't change who he is, neither could the pastor. Though I feel very bad for the kid in this situation, I must stop to ask a few questions. One of the most inportant being, where did he get the gun? No kid should be able to hold a gun. The pastor was just doing what he thought was right, however things came about in the end. I'm sure he didn't want to be the last straw for this depressed kid. All in all, it is no ones fault but the person who shot himself. I know that's a horrible thing to say... But he shot himself, he couldn't take it anymore, the opinions of others wayed too heavily on him and he wasn't given any tools to help him cope with being gay. Though you shouldn't have to cope with that anyway. You cannot change who you are... He felt guilty and worthless... He killed himself, the pastor thought he was helping, but he didn't. He probably thought that if he was also gay he would want someone to tell him that too... But you never know how people will react to what you say.

Answer 4

When will people learn that some pastors want to control other people by telling them how to live their lives? Many of them don't like it that people are gay, and some will do anything to justify their own bigotry. If that means scaring the daylights out of people by threatening them with stories about hell and eternal damnation, then they will do it! They will do anything to MAKE people hate their very nature.

This is totally disgusting, to think that they have that much abusive control. The boy's blood should be on the head of that pastor. The church should answer for this, and that means the pastor should be accountable for his part in this. This has nothing to do with the so-called love of God. It is hypocrisy at its very worst.

Stay away from those ex-gay ministries. They are scams: 100% fake. They will only mess with your head.

Answer 5

Psychology courses are required for theology majors now, but that doesn't mean that they use the information. Yes Satan did win... his minister made the kid commit suicide. He should be held responsible for this child's death.

Answer 6

Pastors fall under the catagory of spiritual counsoling. If the child killed himself he might of heard something from the pastor that he didnt need to hear at the time. Some religious leaders are very closed minded when it comes to gay issues. Instead of speaking in love they speak in damnation and "thou shalt nots". For many the jury is still out on the whole "gays in church issue".
I dont think the parents are at fault nor the pastor.

Answer 7

Unfortunately in many (most?) US States, there is no law against unlicensed psychotherapy. In Colorado, you can send $40 in to the state and viola -- you're a "psychotherapist" -- no credentials necessary.

It's probably even more liberal for clergy.

I continue to believe that clergy function as pseudo mental health professionals, but without the training, science, or study that real mental health professionals have.

Answer 8

You know, it depends on where this happened. If the parents were being abusive, and the pastor was a manitory reporter, they can all go to jail.

Answer 9

Spiritual counseling?
Or psychological counseling.
In our Church we would send them to psychological counseling. So would the Pastor.

Answer 10

Oh, I see.... so any person who is a pastor should OBVIOUSLY go in for counseling because no man of God could be as smart as you?

I know of some "trained counselors" who are godless and I wouldn't let my kids anywhere near them, thank you. "Training" is an overstated, overused, and overrated term that can refer to a wide variety of things.

You are using the situation to fit your agenda. Shame on you. Find some other way to degradate Christians. We don't buy that one.