I'm with my bf for half a year. He was with her for 4 years. I get soooooo jealous all the time....heartaches every time when I think of them being together before. I even hate her so much... I always wanna know more about her. I cant stop bugging my bf....I always ask things like "oh ic so you did this to her before right?" or sth like "oh so you treated her very good right?"...... if I find out that he treated her well I got sooo jealous......and I get soooo upset when I find out he does sth to me but he also did it to her last time. You know what I mean? the feeling really sucks... or things get even worse when I find out he did sth to her but he has not done it to me!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhh the jealousy is killing meeeeeeeeeeeeee
2007-05-01 05:47:16 · 25 answers · asked by Lisa C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whooo girl...I know exactly what you are going through. I used to feel the same way when I first started dating my husband. His ex was so beautiful and I felt that my looks were so inferior compared to her. He bought her a beautiful $1200 bracelet when she graduated from high school and I got a $100 ring when we celebrated our one year (dating) anniversary. How did I get over it??? He complimented me on my looks, he says I am beautiful inside AND out and that he loves my personality. The best part....I have the wedding ring and she has a cheating husband! Remember that he is with YOU now. Build a bridge and get over it or you may end up losing him. All you are doing is reminding him about her. If he does something to you that he used to do with her, remember that she's the one missing out on it!!! Give yourself a little credit and don't put her on the pedestal. That's where you belong!
2007-05-01 05:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kalei 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand your pain! I periodically go through spats of jealousy too with my boyfriend's exs, and they're usually triggered when he sees her or she calls him randomly during the day (and I'm with him). Is your bf giving you reason to be jealous? I'm not referring to the reasoning being "well, he was with her for 4 years." The fact that he had relationships before you feels really hurtful, I know: of course you want to be the center of his world and have no one threaten to take him away. But realistically you cannot control what his life was before he started going out with you. You got to move forward and concentrate on what YOU TWO have now instead of what he had with an ex. It's in the past now. He's willingly in a relationship with you now, and that should be reason enough for you to realize your jealousy should be put under better control. Good luck and don't worry, this jealousy does pass!!
2007-05-01 05:59:10 · answer #2 · answered by homegirlmar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say this isn't a good thing but I'm actually in the same situation.... as in being with my bf for 6 months and he was with his ex for 4 years..... I ask the exact same questions and feel the same way. I also tell myself that its just you want to make sure that you aren't like her. I know its hard to think "wow you were with her for 4 years.... blah blah" but like everyone else said... you two are together now and that is all that should matter. Make what you two have now the best and don't worry about the past (it is the past for a reason). As long as he treats you well and you are happy with him (forget the ex)!! Hope all this helps!! Good luck!!
2007-05-01 05:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by vtskigirl417 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need serious help! The guy is with YOU right! That means he's NOT with her anymore. She should be a non-issue for you altogether and you are extremely wrong in wanting details of their relationship! It's over! That's all you need to know. If you can't get over his ex how do you expect him to do it? Let this go or you will drive him away!!
2007-05-01 05:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lisa, you need to chill out, girl. First of all, it should tell you something that he is with you for 6 mos. now and not her. Unless he's constantly talking about her, DROP IT. Make your own memories with him. If he did some things to her he does with you, it may mean he LIKES THOSE THINGS and has -0- to do with her. The past is the past. You certainly can't change that. But you need to kick her memory to the curb before he kicks you to the curb. This can't be easy on him. Like I said, unless he's talking about her constantly, or still sees her on a regular basis, then I'd ask him about it. But don't let this eat you up. Let it go and keep your relationship in tact......
2007-05-01 05:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that when you date people, that they have a history. But that the two of you are building a future. Get over it - if he still liked her, he would be with her.
I'm sure you have dated people in the past and maybe it was great, maybe it wasn't. If he can deal with it, then you should be able to deal with it too.
Not much more I can tell you, hon... just remember that he's with YOU now, not her.
2007-05-01 05:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by Holly Golightly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have more confidence in yourself! Yes it can be hard knowing that he has this past history with her, but he is yours now. And he's yours for a reason, just think of her as having been a learning lesson for him. And now he has moved on to you, because they were not right for each other. Good luck, and don't let the jealousy interfere with your relationship. One of the best comments I have ever heard is that jealousy is like a cancer, and it will eat away at you.
2007-05-01 05:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all well done on handling the break up ect so maturely :) it means she knows how easily she could lose him, making her scared and over-protective. that big a time lapse between the ban and the rumours must surely mean he tried something 'funny' and she's on the defence again. don't worry, it shouldn't last much longer. but if she continues the rumours ask her why she does all this, pointing out you dont even want to chase her away for her bf. good luck! :) x x
2016-05-18 00:39:42 · answer #8 · answered by rosann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a possibility...could you be inserting your b/f's ex into the middle of your relationship so you can focus on that instead of getting closer to your b/f? All that drama must keep you guys fighting a lot - and he gets to prove it again and again and again that he cares about you...baby games. Dont bring up the ex to your b/f again and see what happens. You will likely become extremely uncomfortable with only you and he in the relationship. This is a sign that you are fearful of intimacy. That is something you can work on so you will feel more secure and you wont become jealous of what came before.
2007-05-01 05:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Reneejah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the jealously will kill the relationship too. what a turn off!! you're poor boyfriend is probably getting annoyed with all your insecure BS. Ask yourself why you feel so jealous.
Are you insecure about his feelings for you?
Do you think the ex was better than you?
Do you feel unworthy somehow of his love and affection?
Most jealousy issues are the problem of the person feeling them, not the ex or the boyfriend. Dig deeper into yourself and realize you cannot be consumed with petty comparisons to exgirlfriends.
2007-05-01 05:58:57 · answer #10 · answered by okiedokey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋