Tonight I think I'm going to tell my family that I'm leaving the LDS Church. How should I do it? Some advice?

Question

Has anyone had experience with this? How did your family react? I know how my family talks about other people who have left the Church and it's not good... what can I expect?

I guess every family is different, but in general I mean.

Yes, I have a wife. I've talked to her about my doubts and I think she knows it's coming.

I'm going to visit my parents' house and tell them along with my younger siblings who are still teenagers at home.

I'm not rejecting God or Christ. I'm trying to find Their way, and it's not through the LDS Church. I am going to be non-denominational for awhile and figure things out.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you feel that you need to leave the church. My hope is that you will decide to return some day. Please take the good parts of it with you. Stay close with your family and friends. I converted TO the church and all I can say is that it's been hard on my family relationships. I'm the only one in my family/extended family who is a member. While most of my family doesn't care, or at least don't let it effect how they treat me, my Mother's response has cut me to the quick on several occasions. When I told my parents I became a member I did it via a 17 page letter (I was 400 miles from home at the time and wanted to just be able to get it out, without interruptions). I now wish I had done it face to face, even if it was months later.
Does your family hold Family Counsel? If so, this might be an ideal time to break the news. Be prepared for anger, crying, disbelief, and things like that. Don't expect to get much sleep for a while. Have you decided if you are going to tell your wife first, then your family or bring her along and break the news all at once?
Let me just say that I disagree with your choice. But I am reminded of what a Branch President once told some friends regarding one of their sons decision to leave the church. Their son was raised in the church and sealed to them. When he left he, like you, was married and became an active member of a non-denominational church and was able to help many people who were just starting to find Christ. This Branch President said to the parents (in an effort to console them), that we (as members) don't know but that their son's leaving the church was part of God's Plan for him. Their son may have made promises in the pre-existance to help other people find their way to God, and that the only way to do that was to leave the church - for a while. He said that he felt sure that God's Plan was able to deal with those who leave the church - firm in their belief that it is wrong, but who go on to help other people firm up their testimonies of Christ, and eventually return to their own family who they have been sealed to. This was a GREAT comfort to my friends who had the "wayward" son. Perhaps it will be of comfort to your family as well, that is assuming that you do not want your name taken off the roles of the church, or have your family sealing voided. Even if you don't believe this anymore, I'm assuming that you still love your family and want their love too. So maybe you can handle still being sealed to them, even if you don't believe that's the way it will happen. My hope is you can. I can't say I wish you good luck, because I believe you are doing the wrong thing, but I hope that you and your family can handle this and that it won't destroy your relationship with them.

Answer 2

I think you are brave and seeking something else from God and only (1) God. My prayers are that you will find the peace through God you are looking for. There's a scripture in the Bible that talks about that, "A Prophet is not known is his own country". I went thru this with my family when I became a true Christian. They saw the old me and quoted on that quite often. especially when I slipped and messed up from being a Christian. It's very hard to have family support when you feel/go a different direction that they have believed. Look to God for all of your answers. He can change your families heart. It may take time to do that. You do what you feel that God is leading you to do. In the end of our life on earth, it only mattters what road to God that we have taken, not our families road and what they think we should do. Good luck and much prayers to you.

Answer 3

I've known of a few Latter-Day Saints that may have shunned someone who renounced their denomination, but as Christians, I don't see them holding too much of a grudge. They are your family, after all, and it's not like you're letting go of your faith...simply your denomination.

Just be sure to reiterate the fact that you will still retain your Christian faith, and even if they are upset by your decision, they'll eventually get over it and learn to forgive. And even though you'd prefer to remain non-denominational for a while, I'd recommend still trying to attend church, at least periodically. There are plenty of non-denominational churches out there whose sole purpose applies to folks like you, and attempts to keep the scriptures in your life. I'm sure your family would sleep easier knowing that you'll still be attending a church of some sort.

Good luck tonight. Your family loves you, just as God does, and it will all work itself out in the end. Just have faith!

God bless.

Answer 4

I still remember the night I told my family.....
I would be totally honest to them and yourself but just tell them. My sister-in-law e-mail a copy of the letter she wrote to her bishop to tell the family. Then I few years later, I called my family one by one and told them. My mom and dad tried to talk me out of it but they think the it is the only true church. If you want to can e-mail me and we can talk more about it. good luck but make sure you are 100% before you leave.


*****Edit*****

I was raised Mormon and went on a mission. I married a non-member which upset my family to start. Then after 3 years for marriage I started wondering why I was not happy. I founld that I was not happy with the church. I did not like being pushed into a cookie cutter. I did not get married at 18 and I did not start having kids 9 months after I was married. I am a strong women how thinks for herself and I will not feel sorry for doing the things that I feel I need to.

The night I called my parents to tell them was Monday night so I knew they would be home. Got to love FHE anyway... They were both every upset by the news. My Dad just kept sayd will either it is true or it is not. My Mom just cried, however she still does not talk about it to this day. We just don't talk about my faith anymore. My brother and his wife were very supportive and understood where I was coming from. My other brother was upset and started blaiming himself. I guess he thought it was becaues he is gay and ex that I was leaving but it really had nothing to do with it. I don't have any one younger then me so I don't know how they will react but they might surpize you. Good luck

Blessed Be )O(

Answer 5

Well if you're just going to be non-denominational for a while, then tell them that, as that is VERY different from having your name full on taken from the records

- if you can give them an idea of how long "a while" is - weeks? months? years? do that. Can you share with them your spiritual plan in your time off? Will you be reading scriptures? Praying? or just nothing?

Also, tell your wife before you tell your parents - that would stink for her to have to hear that news from her mother-in-law.

Oooh, something that would be really great would be to ask your father for a blessing. If that's something you still even reomotely believe in, I think that would be extremely helpful in calming the waters in your family with this.

Best wishes

Answer 6

It will be difficult- no way around that. Be prepared for tears, anger, blame and attacks on your character. Stand firm. They will try to twist scripture to confuse you, so spend time in prayer and fasting first. Remember- resist the devil and he will flee from you!

This group, Concerned Christian can provide you with support, encouragement and sound Bible teaching during this time. You can email or call them. If you live near them you can attend one of their ex-Mormon groups.

They also have a sample letter of resignation. It is a good idea to use a letter that follows the same format. Otherwise, you will be faced with unwanted visits from church members and eventually slander. Rather than remove your name at your request the Mormon church will try to have a bishops court to excommunicate you based an slanderous lies.

Keep reading the Bible everyday, pray and seek solid Bible teaching from a "sola scriptura" (Bible preaching only) church.

Answer 7

Do you have another place to sleep? I don't know how your family is, but if they are fanatical sorts, you'll probably be kicked out.

Prepare for fighting/arguing to happen.

Try to have a calm conversation with them. Explain to them why you are leaving the LDS. What are your disagreements with it.

**EDIT**

I assumed you were younger and living at home. My apologies.

In this case, come right out and say. If they have a problem with it, and it sounds like they will, be prepare to have no contact with them. They might take it that far as to threaten if you leave the LDS church, they won't ever speak to you again.

If this were to happen, it will be sad, but don't cave into it.

Answer 8

If you have a wife (assuming your a man which I think you are?) I would tell her first, then the rest of your family. Depending on them, my guess is that it their response won't be "okay"

Sorry I just read someones respnse and it made me laugh, she said she was pushed to have a child 9 months after getting married. I just want people to know that Mormons do not force women to have a child, I was married and within three months it just happened, we were not planning on having kids for a very long time, women are not forced to have children early, if anyone told me that I would tell them to mind their own business.

Answer 9

Honesty and acceptance. If your family is your family they will love you unconditionally. At least I hope so. There is nothing my children could do that would make me love them less. Be dissapointed yes, but never stop loving them. Stay calm, answer thier questions and respect thier decision even if they don't respect yours. I wish you luck.

Answer 10

Sometimes when people do this they also reject the Lord.. I would hope that isn't your idea. If it isn't you could tell them you have found a better way for you than the church... Jim