The teen was told by the pastor that he had two choices in order to make it into heaven...be celibate, or marry a woman and basically live a lie...
Not being able to live a lie...the teen decides to take his own life..he spells out his reason in a suicide note...he says he has always "felt" gay from childhood...however, he cannot live with the disappointment of his parents and church...and feeling there is no way to change...and that he would ultimatly sin...he pulls the trigger.
This really happend...should pastors be required to take additional psychology classes, etc...to recognize the signs of a troubled youth?
Is it right for a pastor to pass his belief and interpretation of scripture to a person as absolute fact? Especially, a child who is weak in his own being, faith and years?
Your thoughts?
2007-05-01 05:32:39 · 45 answers · asked by G.C. 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Psychological problems should NEVER be tackled from a religious viewpoint. Religious morals are designed to control the populace and herd them into a "common denominator" position. Pastors should not be given the task of counselling outside of talking about faith. It is not right for ANYONE to force their beliefs onto someone else in order to cultivate fear - let alone a pastor in a position of trust to manipulate the mind of a young, troubled and confused boy.
2007-05-01 05:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by Spazzcat 5 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Really every person, no matter their position is going to go about things in a different way. Example, yahoo answers. Like the boy couldn't change who he is, neither could the pastor.
Though I feel very bad for the kid in this situation, I must stop to ask a few questions. One of the most inportant being, where did he get the gun? No kid should be able to hold a gun.
The pastor was just doing what he thought was right, however things came about in the end. I'm sure he didn't want to be the last straw for this depressed kid.
All in all, it is no ones fault but the person who shot himself. I know that's a horrible thing to say... But he shot himself, he couldn't take it anymore, the opinions of others wayed too heavily on him and he wasn't given any tools to help him cope with being gay. Though you shouldn't have to cope with that anyway.
You cannot change who you are... He felt guilty and worthless... He killed himself, the pastor thought he was helping, but he didn't. He probably thought that if he was also gay he would want someone to tell him that too... But you never know how people will react to what you say.
2007-05-01 05:43:37 · answer #2 · answered by Joyous Mommy ♥'s her ßoys 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The Pastor would be judged by the Lord of if He counseled according to Gods Word.
This Pastor obviously didn't counsel according to Gods Word. So, the judgment on an anointed Pastor would suffer greater discipline.
God loves the sinner. Why wouldn't a Pastor counsel Gods Saving Grace? The Healing is that Jesus shed His own Blood for the remisson of our sins. A Pastor should expect a sinner to act like a sinner. Once one is born of God, then that person acts like a Christian. Then that Person has eternal life in them. Jesus changes us from the inside out.
With Christ there is the answer. And this Pastor you write about didn't give the answer. The World will tell you you have to do this, be this way to be righteous to get to heaven. And sometimes says that you did this & that and there is nothing to help you. You are a loser. A no way out situation. That is not the Gospel of Jesus Christ. With Jesus all things are possible. There is always Gods Redeeming Grace in hour of need.
2007-05-01 05:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by t_a_m_i_l 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Any pastor who encourages someone to live a lie, no matter what the cause, is leading that person into sin, which is supposed to be what they preach against. I would say that his superiors in the church should launch an investigation and remove him from his position. I wouldn't blame the parents here if they sought legal action against the pastor. I also think that anyone who is placed in a position to counsel people, teenagers, children, adults, whomever, should be trained in psychology and should absolutely be trained in the basics of recognizing and helping to treat crisis situations.
2007-05-01 05:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hmmm...I really didn't want to touch this one but I guess I'll take a shot at it. The preacher should preach what he believes to be truth. I'm not a religious scholar nor do I agree with all religious doctrine but I know the christian faith disregards homosexuality as a disease or a way of life. The Bible speaks against it. So the preacher should preach what he believes to be divine truth despite what he or she may feel is appropriate. His role is to answer with truth to the best of his ability. However, I think his approach to the question can be more effective if he explains his position and offers some empathy. The pastor was obviously wrong in his answer by stating that two choices were all he had to make it to heaven. The Bible speaks of forgiveness, love, and tolerance more than it does homosexualtiy. Ultimately, the preacher was not responsible for his death. Despite hearing what he heard, the decision to end his life was his. Sad but true
2007-05-01 05:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by jeffwilliams1979 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I think it's ok for the pastor to tell a kid what the church teaches. But his mistake in this case was not to also tell the kid that the church might not have all the answers that this kid needed to live his life. He should have told the kid to seek help elsewhere. And if the pastor had information that the kid was feeling suicidal, he might have had an obligation to notify others.
2007-05-01 05:39:42 · answer #6 · answered by rollo_tomassi423 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that this is a sad story and I sorry for this boy and his family.
Considering your question: He asked the Pastor's opinion. The Pastor gave his opinion based on his beliefs and understanding of God's word. What the child does with that information is his choice.
Do I think the Pastor said, "Go get married and live a lie?" No. I don't think the Pastor told him to live a lie. I think he may have encouraged him to seek strength from God to live as normal a life as possible as God intended for man through either celibacy or marriage, but if the boy felt that would be living a "lie" that was the boy's choice.
If the boy just wanted someone to agree with him, then maybe he should have sought counsel in a gay bar. On a similar note, If you are simply looking for people to agree with you, then why are you asking for opinions?
2007-05-01 05:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by SelfnoSelf 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
My opinion is the psychological needs of the child should have come first, especially if the child was in imminent danger to himself. While I'm not a pastor, I do feel that anyone providing "psychological" counseling should be qualified.... pastor or not. There are professional Christian counselors who offer these services. Additionally, I would hope that our pastors and youth workers are astute enough to discern whether a child is in need of more qualified counselling and be prepared with appropriate references.
2007-05-01 05:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by Baz 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If the pastor had done what he was supposed to do and just listened to the teen then I would say no.
But as he condemned the poor guy to eternal damnation just for being confused and alone, then yes he does have to shoulder some responsibility for the outcome.
But the biggest share of the blame must go to the parents. The guy just wanted someone to talk to about the way he felt and the way he was. Because of their inflexibility in their beliefs he felt unable to turn to them. They must have known that something was going on in their sons life, but they were either unable to admit it to themselves or unable to approach him about it because their belief structure would not allow for this type of "abberation". So he went to the one person that they appeared to take advice from, hoping that this person would give him an interpretation that would allow him to live in peace with himself.
2007-05-01 05:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Peter A 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While I don't think we know all the details that went on in this unfortunate circumstance, the bible bashers have been given another opportunity to spew out their hatred of God instead of focusing their energy at the pastor's scriptural interpretation and who could have done a much better job at counselling the boy. How many people have gone on to kill themselves after being counselled by a secular psychologist? Freud's psycho babble doesn't always work either. There were demons this poor kid had long before he talked to that pastor.
2007-05-01 05:54:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Offenzalot 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋