Comlicated situation,need some advice..please..and be nice..?

Question

Ok,I am 23 and I am married to my husband of 8 years.Well he recently split up from me to be with someone else,I was crushed didnt see it comin at all.Anyways as usual he realized the grass isnt always greener on the other side and he is tryin to come back,but me on the other hand I have told him that I wanted it to work ,but I am havin doubts and there is someone else that I like and am gettin close to,plus now he might have this girl pregnant and they work together ,I cant stand the situation he has put me in.The way I look at it is ,if I have to deal with a baby mamma and another child then they should have been there before me,but he went out and did this while we were together.Thats nasty.I have his two baby girls and he went out and gave them a brother or a sister without them even wanting it.Point is do I cut my ties as far as gettin back or do I try ,I have love for him,that is 8years ,but I not sure if it is worth it,The other guy is very sweet and is willing to be there.

ps. This other guy doesnt really have anything to do with me feeling this way,I feel this way when I not with him.Plus we just met im not an idoit ,just want some adivce on what other people would do if they were me.I am alone nobody I know is going thru this,an he was my bestfriend so I have no one to ask anymore ........

I wasnt 15 when I got married i really mean we have been together for 8years and married 5 years-we were 15when we got together and had two kids and were married by the time I was 18years old.The minute I had my first child I grew up,he didnt.Plus my age doesnt have anything to do with what is happenin to me and why I feel the way I do,and man in his 40's could do the same thing,now that everyone has the details can u just offer some advice.

I want to add that I do have a really good job and make good money,also i got him the job that he has now with a phony resume(because I loved him and he wasnt happy working construction)he is now in the ac and works in an office and makes 3dollars more an hr than before..All this for him to leave me for a b at the job,amazin the way people show gratitude.

Answer 1

To your ex; NEXT!!
Once he left you, he will do it again.
Sorry, but HE decided to leave you.
Something about his new woman having a child? He will dump her too!!
My brother in law had 6 children, 3 different wives. Every time he would move on to another woman.
NEXT!
Stick with the new guy. Points to him for wanting to be with you and your daughters.

Answer 2

I can understand your situation. Surely you must be suffering a lot for the bad behaviour of your husband.He cheated so badly. He has other 2 kids with the other woman. He' only a B A S T A R D. You did well cutting all the ties with him. He must not get any other chance from you. You seem to be a nice person who must get a better partner. There is nothing wrong in having a male as a best friend who is helping you in this case. Even if now you are feeling something for your friend or for another person I think that it's right after the way your husband cheated on you.
Trust is a very important thing in a relationship. If your husband has proved so clearly to be so untrustworthy then continue your life without him. You are still young,it's very good if you wanna work. YA,that's in a way your solution:find a job like this you'll earn money,you'll be independent and more capable of taking care of yourself and of your children and you'll have more friends.
If you feel that the other guy is very sweet and is willing to be present for you then go ahead. Divorce from your untrustworthy,unfaithful husband and carry on your life more happily. I really wish you all the happiness,you deserve it. TAke care.
Bye from Bella.

Answer 3

I can see why you are concerned, not only did he break your marriage contract but he broke your heart and trust too. It is hard to say if it is worth it, do you trust that he will not stray again? Plus if he has to keep in contact with this girl because of a baby then that is another mountain to climb. If he works with her and you are wanting to give him another chance because you honestly believe he want to be with you because he realizes what a big mistake he made and not just that he is waiting for the next thing to come along, then he should have to change jobs. If there is a baby then he can deal with that as necessary but should include you as much as he can because this baby and girl will now be a part of your life as well. This guy friend of your's do you think that it could be anything more? Or just that he is willing to support you with or without your husband? Then he may be a good person to have around just to help you through the many stages you will be going through...you are going to need all the support and love you can find. I'm sorry you are going through this...good luck.

Answer 4

So you got married when you were 15? That is incredibly young....you were both still kids so it is unlikely you will end up staying together because neither of you had a chance to go out and experience life or other people and that will contstantly be an issue.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like your heart is in it anymore and I can see why. Break up - let him go do whatever it is he is going to do and you take care of yourself and the kids...you deserve better and regardless of what happens with the other guy, you need to value YOU!

Answer 5

Honestly? I would see a counselor (by yourself) and dump him. He doesn't respect you or your marriage. Seeing a counselor will really help you feel less alone. Do you have family you can rely on during this tough time?

If you think your feelings for the other guy are real, then spend time with him. You need someone to respect you and support you.

It's okay to get divorced. It is what it is. You were awfully young when you got married. It's really okay to cut your ties (as much as you can anyway, with two kids) and move on with your life. I know it's a huge change and probably really frightening on top of the hurt you must feel.

That's what I would do, for what it's worth!

Answer 6

Think about this. He left you to be with someone else. He doesn't love you the way you love him. I'd leave him to fend for himself for a while that way you can think and see what else is out there. He got to explore the world of another women I think now that he's left you, you have the right to explore as well. I know times like these are hardest on one and there children, but it's time that you did what you want to do!

Answer 7

Married at 15??

I think you should dump your husband. Sure, he wants to come back now but what is to stop him from doing the same thing to you again?

Live life a little for a few years and you'll know when the time is right to marry again.

Answer 8

No, you should really let him go. He went waaaay past lying into possibly getting some home wrecker pregnant. I'm sorry you're going through this, really, but continue getting over him. It's for the best. & as for the other guy, be friends. You're vulnerable & want some affection which is understandable, but give youself time to heal & a chance for your kids to process everything & adjust.

Answer 9

First, you need to make sure she is really pregnant and if so, with his baby. You should also consider what you are leaning towards, an interest in someone else? Do you really want your marriage to work? Give it some time...sometimes that needs to happen before you get answers.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

I really feel for your situation. Let me say this first that it is said that 99 and a half of all men will go out on their wife sometime in their life. You never said how old your husband was and how mature he was either. Having two children together is a great bond between you both. It is not just your life but your childrens life too that will be effected. Since your husband is working with this woman I feel this is not good at all. The feelings he once felt for her may return, whether it was lust or whatever. I would not like that. A preacher once said that if men could only think with their mind instead of below the belt they would be a lot better off. If your husband is around 23 also then he may do this to you again. He may feel you are tied down with the kids and will always take him back. He could also be truly sorry for what he did and really want to start again with you. This new man in your life has probably made you feel better about yourself but he is still new in your life. You have no sure way of knowing if it would last either.
The most important thing of all is do you love your husband enough to go through this pain? This you have to ask yourself. And let me also say this: there are no guarantee's in any relationship that the next one would not go out on you too. My husband went out on me for over a year with a woman that I knew and thought was my friend. I had too many years invested in our life to throw it all away and we had a daughter too to think of. He is still with me and I have ask myself would I have been better off. I really loved this man and new that I really could never love another like I have loved him. How about you? How much do you love your man? enough? It will be a hard battle down the line so you have to love enough. If you are not sure and really are attracted to this new man then you know yourself what you really want to do. You just want someone else to say it. Your husband has done a terrible wrong to you and this in itself is hard to live with. The trust is gone and is very hard to rebuild. You will always have it in the back of your mind. Is he doing this to me again? How can I be sure he isn't? These questions will always pop up in your head and make it even harder on your relationship together. Then to make it all worse he works with this woman. There is no way that you can continue in a relationship with your husband if this woman is in the picture. IF she is pregnant then this will be another problem too because she will never be out of the picture. He will have the responsibility of caring for his other child too You must think about all of this before taking him back. All of it could be way to hard to deal with. Like I said you really have to love him enough to stay with him through all the pain and things you may have to endure in the future. And do not forget that your children will have to deal with it all too. I think down deep you truly know what you feel and you really do know what you want to do. Right or wrong it is your life and you only have one so choose carefully for yourself and for your children too. No one can answer what is in your heart but you.