we have dated for 2 years and she was 150 when we met now she is 195 and im not attracted to her anymore but i love her for who she is on the inside. have tried the gym, working out, walking, encouraging her, everything. im almost ready to dump her. what do i do?
2007-05-01 04:04:20 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't tell her! Why don;t you two start walking every night or riding bikes or playing tennis. Do something active together. It will help your health too!! Good time to get back into your realtionship and quit being so selfish, shes still the same girl you once got together with! I'm sure one day you will put on some weight too!
2007-05-01 04:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by Mellycat123 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready to dump her and you have tried all these things without success, then there is something more going on with her. Maybe she is depressed; maybe SHE is dissatisfied with the relationship; maybe you need to determine why she has gained weight. She no doubt has more issues than you can tell us about; think hard and decide for yourself whether you want to dump her because of her outward appearance or because of the inward conditions that have caused her to put on the weight. If she has just "let herself go" this sometimes means she is being the lazy one in the relationship; you might just be tired of doing all the work. Dig into it and decide what it is that is really bugging you; it might not be her weight, but that may be an outward manifestation of a psychological problem that irks you enough that you wish to leave. That is the problem you need to solve. If you can't solve it together, you two should break up.
2007-05-01 04:58:26 · answer #2 · answered by Black Dog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bah. You're not shallow, you're pretty damn normal if you ask me. No guy wants a girl who lets themselves go just because they're comfortable, and a girl shouldn't do that to herself either. She should WANT to be healthy.
You were physically attracted to her when she was 150, which isn't exactly thin either so I can't say you're shallow.
Don't encourage her to lose weight for vanity. Encourage her to lose weight because she is headed down heart attack lane. She isn't just a little overweight here, she is obese. She could easily become morbidly obese...and that's basically headed for early death.
Even if she is 6' tall, which isn't common, she should only be 150. For christ sake, MEN at 6'4" are healthy around 200 pounds, and that's with a large frame(bone structure)!. Over that and they're becoming overweight. A woman shorter than a 6'4" man should not weight more than him!
Of course, that's assuming the men and women aren't very muscular.
There's nothing wrong with having meat on your bones and I, personally, encourage that. But there's something very wrong when you're putting your health at stake and not doing sh*t all about it.
2007-05-01 04:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont tell her that, If you truely love her for the person she is on the inside you dont say a thing, just keep incouraging her to do what you two have been doing. If you still feel like dumping her then you tell her how selfish and uncaring you are about the situation. U dont know maybe she is going thru something that she has not told you about or doesnt know how to tell you. Look at it from her standpoint and think would you want the person who says they love you telling you they dont love you because of the weight you put on.
Get a grip on reality and see that life has many challenges and we must learn to over come them one way or another.
2007-05-01 04:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she's been taking the gym and walking seriously, she should have lost some weight and toned up. I'm guessing she's making very bad food choices, and probably eats even more when she's alone. You need to persuade her to go to Weight Watchers. She'll have much support there and they will teach her to make better food choices. Now, how to convince her to go might be tough, but I think she would thank you later. Can you get a friend or family member to help persuade her?
2007-05-01 04:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If u love her, don't dump her cuz she's fat. U just gotta talk to her about it and work somethin out where she loses the fat.
It might be tough at the start cuz it's a touchy subject to some people. But remember that u love her and sometimes if u love someone u gotta do somethin that might hurt their feelings at first, but will help em way more later on.
She will realise later too that u talked to her about it cuz u really loved her.
2007-05-01 04:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by Travis M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't tell her she is "fat". That will just lead to hurt feelings and low self esteem. Let her know that you care about her health and want her to be a healthy person. A woman should take that hint. If she doesn't want to change for you then I don't blame her. If you have been with her for 2 years and supposedly love her then 45 pounds shouldn't be grounds for a dumping.
2007-05-01 04:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by Teia 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find the root of her increased eating. Is she eating because she is depressed? What is depressing her? Try to work on that. Also, to get her to realize she has a problem; I think you can go about by reading articles to her about the dangers of being overwieght and all the diseases and conditions linked directly to it. Treat her over-eating or under-activity like a smoking addiction. You love the person, not the action---that's what should be clear. See if she would visit the doctor to help her determine a plan of action.
2007-05-01 04:10:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell her. And go to the gym with her. I told my bf that he's gaining weight and he tells me if i'm gaining weight as well. We went to gym together, do running at the park together, cycling around the town together....The thing is, not only u have to tell her, u have to do everything with her together, that way it motivates her to carry on with the exercising and feels that the man that loves her (you) willing to share the ordeal with her. And she will appreciates you more and with ur encouragement, she'll try her best to go thru it.
2007-05-01 04:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by Lindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that with all the various types of diseases around these days, it's important to stay fit and healthy so what you propose is that the both of you join a gym and follow a healthy eating plan. Tell her that you care about her physical well being and you would hate to see anything bad happen to her health.
2007-05-01 04:17:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋