My sons wedding is in 11 days. We have had to pay for most of the wedding because the brides family isn't able. The bride and groom have also contributed but food and such we have had to buy. Anyway the bride started a new job and would like to invite 25 people she now works with. That would mean more food, cake, favors, tablecloths, drinks and so on. I need some opinions on this. I say if they weren't good enough friends to invite when you did the invitations then they should not be invited last minute.
2007-05-01 04:00:09 · 16 answers · asked by jimsusierickard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'd say no - too late & quite inconsiderate of the bride
2007-05-01 04:14:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, inviting 25 people with the wedding close at hand is silly. Also, these "new" people might feel that they are being invited at the last minute for the gifts. They do not know the bride all that well, and I'm sure do not know the groom at all. I think it is very generous of you and your husband to host the wedding under the circumstances. I dont think I would say " if they werent good enough to invite when the invited went out" though, obviously she didnt know them when the invites were mailed, and it might hurt her feelings. Just be realistic with her about the situation, and perhaps give motherly type advice on etiquette and last minute invites.
2007-05-01 04:35:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually its rather rude TO invite them.
I know if I worked someplace and a brand new coworker invited me--when I'd only spoken to her on a couple of occasions--I'd find her gift-hungry, money-grubbing conduct deplorable!
I mean she just started, hardly knows all 25 of these people. They don't know your son, and its just a few days away. Why doesn't she just wear a sign that says "give me a gift" b/c they all know thats why she would invite random people she hardly knows.
I would be in utter shock if a coworker did this. If this future daughter in-law is not as bad as she is about to proclaim--then I'd sit her down and explain to her how inviting those 25 coworkers is going to look. Not to mention in order to fit in the budget I'm sure you left off some family members that you would have liked to invite. Keep the money out of it--this has very lil to do with the additional cost of 25 people.
No one should be invited last minute. Anyone invited last minute knows they are being invited for some bad reason. And that they are really D list friends to begin with. Honestly, it would make her look really bad at this new job. And you never want that!
2007-05-01 04:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would be bothered, but you should let her invite her co-workers...she probably already has. Otherwise you are going to really upset her, which will really upset your son, and all of the money and effort you have already expended will be tainted so to speak.
Now if you really cannot afford it, then you should sit down with them and let them know that. Let them know that you had only budgeted x amount of dollars and that its already pretty tight...so if they want this extra 25 people, they will have to foot the bill.
Edit: I agree that it was inconsiderate of the bride to put you in this position...but I also know that planning a wedding is very political, and my advice only addresses how I would handle the situation to avoid bad feelings so close to the wedding day. Good luck!
2007-05-01 04:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, it is wrong of her to invite this many people at the last minute. Her co-workers are not expecting to be invited to her wedding, they barely even know her. And it would look like she's desperate to have people come to the wedding.
But if she insists on having these people, suggest that she cover all the costs associated with these extra people, since she now has a job, she can pay too.
2007-05-04 16:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should realize that 11 days is way too short of a notice for people to say yes or no to a wedding to, and that the new coworkers would understand if they were not invited to the wedding.
I agree with you. Let her know that if she wants to invite them she needs to foot the bill for the extra 25 people.
2007-05-01 06:57:11 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to invite people 11 days from the wedding. I would tell the new daughter in law that she could not invite them. I am sure most of everything is paid for and all set for the number you have. Just tell them how you feel. I would not ask people that I just started working with to my wedding.
Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2007-05-01 04:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What??? 11days before the wedding she wants to invite them? Heck no. Does she not know that these will look like "pity" invites to the people she is giving them to? People know that wedding invites go out 6 weeks in advance, to send them out 11 days before is highly offensive and downright rude. Such bad manners.
Tell her "too bad, so sad" she'll just have to take alot of pictures for her coworkers to see.
2007-05-01 05:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If someone new at work invited me to their wedding, I would be a little uncomfortable to be honest. She is obligating them to come and bring a gift, which is probably not the best way to start off relationships with them. There are better ways of fitting in at the new job.
Also, 25 people is not a small number, you would have to totally rework the overall wedding budget.
2007-05-01 05:02:47 · answer #9 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you. people at her new work will understand that she hasn't worked there that long and she had already had her wedding planned before she started! just because you're getting married doesn't mean you have to invite everyone you know! and in the end whoever is paying really has final say and since you're paying for food and almost everything else and it would be your out of pocket cost to add more people you should just tell her that you're not able to add on people.
2007-05-01 04:05:26 · answer #10 · answered by JM 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, who knows what will happen with this new job. I doubt the people at her work are expecting to be invited. She should not invite them at this late date.
Good luck! :)
2007-05-01 04:05:08 · answer #11 · answered by searching_please 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋