My daughter is 3 1/2 and is usually a good kid for the most part. However she has been getting 1-3 timeouts almost every day at day care for anything from jumping on furniture and the worst yet, biting. What actions should I take at home to let her know that these behaviors are not acceptable?
2007-05-01 02:51:32 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
WOW WE HAVE THE SAME CHILD. FIRST TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT YOU ARENT ALONE! I ALWAYS FELT LIKE A CRAPPY MOM AND THAT EVERYONE ELSES KID WAS AN ANGEL...NOT SO. IF SHE'S BEEN REPRIMANDED AT DAY CARE, MY ADVICE TO YOU IS WHEN YOU GET HOME, TALK TO HER STERNLY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. LOOK HER IN THE EYE ON HER LEVEL, HOLD BOTH OF HER HANDS AND TELL HER THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND WILL NOT BE TOLERATED...BUT AS FAR AS DISCIPLINING THEM AGAIN, I THINK IT'S A LITTLE REDUNDANT. IF DAYCARE PROPERLY TAKES CARE OF THE ISSUE, THAN ALL SHE NEEDS FROM YOU IS A MOTHER/DAUGHTER TALK...AND MAKE SURE YOU TELL HER WHAT A GOOD GIRL SHE REALLY IS. BECAUSE THEY REALLY NEED THAT AT THAT AGE! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
2007-05-01 02:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Both of those are safety issues and you want to get those behaviors to be gone. Punishing isn't as important as communicating. Jumping off furniture could land her in the hospital, discuss it with her, how sad you would be she was hurt, how the doctor might have to give her a shot to put stitches in her head. Biting; that one is bad and could get your child kicked out because she is a danger to others. You must discuss this with her too. The teacher should have given immediate attention to her and a time out. You, at home, sit down at dinner, in front of Daddy and say" Do you know Susie is biting and hurting people at school?" Discuss how that hurts her friends. Find other ways for her aggression. Tell her she can't bite someone who makes her mad, but she can growl at them. Don't spank; instead if she asks for something special, a toy or a program on TV, say, "Honey, I'm sorry, but people who bite can't have new Barbie Dolls. Let's see if you can get through a week without biting and then we'll look at that Barbie again."
2007-05-01 03:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by chieko 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk about what is acceptable with her and what isn't. When you notice her following the rules or doing something (like sitting nicely on the furniture) compliment her. I would look at what the "crime" is before I punish her at home. If she is biting it might be necceasary to reinforce with a punishment at home. But instant reinforcement is best for the smaller things. She may not even remember what she has done by the time she gets home.
2007-05-01 03:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by Daybreak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't punish her, the daycare teachers already disciplined her with the time outs. Just have a talk with her, let her know that you are aware of what is going on and tell her what kind of behavior you expect from her. Only discipline her at home if she is acting out at home. It's probably just a phase. I was a daycare teacher to 4 year olds, and the type of things that she is doing, I didn't see in my class. She will grow out of it.
2007-05-01 03:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberley E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say so. What I have always done with my kids is talk to them after. In talking to them making sure that they know the ONLY reason I am not going to punish them is because they have allready been punished. The other thing to consider is at 3 1/2 to punish them later in the like that seems cruel. So don't understand the full concept of why.
2007-05-01 02:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by NIKK F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children act very differently for different people. A child might be a complete angel for his grandparents, a bit naughty for his parents, and a total terror for his babysitter. It's all about how that specific person deals with that child. Grandparents generally spoil them, and they know if they act up, spoiling will stop. Parents dicipline them, and they have to live with them, so they won't act up as much for them as they do for a babysitter. Babysitter can't go as far on dicipline as the parents, doesn't generally spoil the child, and the child sees this as an opportunity to act however he or she wants to. So, even if you do dicipline her for what she did while she was under someone elses care, chances are she's still going to act the same way with them until they figure out a way to make her behave.
2007-05-01 04:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by ChaoticKimmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Re-hash them during the day, but I wouldnt double punish.
Ask questions like "why" and then about the punishment. And then about what to do different. Then actually practice what would be different. LIke "play" take a toy from her, and practice an appropriate response. I think this would be more beneficial than another time out.
2007-05-01 02:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by lillilou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just talk about it casually. It is too late to punish her again. Just ask her questions like why she did it, or how does it make the other people or persons feel. Maybe even tell her that it makes you sad that she gets into trouble for hurting her friends(everyone in her class) and ask her what she can do so that she doesn't get in trouble.
2007-05-01 06:59:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not have kids but if I were in your situation I would ask the daycare people for advise. Also, ask friends that have well behaved children. If all else fails get a Dummies for Children book. There's got to be one for that. And no, I do not think you are a dummy b/c children are not easy.
Best of luck
2007-05-01 02:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by Eric O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know that in this case that she has done wrong and you are siding with the teacher. Yes, she needs punishment at home too. But you should try to get to the bottom of what is causing her to act like this. I would suspect that she needs more from home.
2007-05-01 02:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋