Help ASAP?????

Question

Ok I am a 22yr old college student trying to become financially independant and when my mom found out how much money I've been spending on this last month(less than 300 bucks) She is calling me a harlot and stuff(even though I don't sleep around!).

I spent around 90 bucks of booze three bottles, one was very pretty. And I bought money on some stupid games. I bought stuff on Amazon including Libido enhancer because my body was running low on hormones.

I don't want to tell her everything and confess what I've been buying. I'm sick of this and she took away my account I let her co-sign to inorder for her to put money in!

Also I don't want her to know that I've been sexually active because I got sick of being naive and being haunted by past traumas that has to do with sexual assault(Don't worry I'm fully healed and stuff). I've only been with one guy the whole entire time.

Help and what to do???

I've also been very responsible in my sex life, practicing safe sex and getting tested for any type of STD and I'm clean!

What to do what to tell her without telling her exactly what I bought?

I just got a job and moving in with some friends.

Answer 1

guess you need to get a job so you have money, then mom cant rule over you... are you an Adult???

Answer 2

I'm not a legal expert but I would think, since your name is also on the bank account, that if the money is still there then you can take it or at least half. However, if your mom took the account by withdrawing all the money then I can't really see what you can do, unless you have proof that it was money for the both of you to share and then you could take the claim to court.

Your mother sounds like she may be a bit too controlling. You are 22 years old and do not need to seek permission from your mother concerning the things you want to buy. However, if your spending is getting in the way of you being financially responsible and putting the burden on your mother then she has every right to be upset.

All in all, you are an adult and can make your own decisions. If your mother can't respect that and tries to control you as though you are a child the best thing to do is live on your own and no longer allow her access to any of your bank accounts.

Answer 3

Let's see.....22 yrs old, spends 90 bucks on 3 bottles of booze, some stupid Libido enhancer,,try a hormone replacement prescription from your dr..and you're having sex because you got tired of being naive and you're not sleeping around. Good God CHILD. Grow up and she won't bug ya.
What a lousy reason for having sex. What happened to old fashion love and wanting to share the most intimate emotion there is? Guess you haven't grown up enough to know what that is. And until you do, you should abstain or you're just going to hurt all over again. Sexual abuse or not. What you're doing is abusing yourself. Get some professional help.
Hey by the time you're 30, you'll understand that maybe, just maybe Mom was right.

Answer 4

Considering this is your mothers money you are spending, she kind of does have a right to know where it is going!

It would be a different story if it were your own money ofcourse. You are 22 after all, it wouldn't hurt to get a job and earn your own money. I also must say, the things you spent money on were a tad...uhh...silly. To think of all the useful things I would do with $300!

Don't get me wrong, i'm sure your'e a very busy student with class assignments up to your ears! Perhaps you could get a small job which only requires one or two days of work per week.

You could say to your mom something along the lines of "Look, i'm sorry I realise I spent the money on a few extra things this month....I just felt like treating myself, I will be more careful in the future."

You could also perhaps make a deal with her....if you get a small job, she could give you a bit less money, therefore giving you a little more independance and taking away some of her right to know where the money is going.

Answer 5

Well first off you are 22 years old even though you are a college student doesnt mean that you cant get a job and not depend on your mom. That would be the first thing to overcome is the finance issue. The as far as her questioning you about stuff tell her you are old enough to do what you want and its none of her business. You will tell her what you want her to know. It is none of her business what you do if you are not living in her home and she isnt supporting you financially so get a job make sure you have your own home and do what you want without anyones permission. A piece of advice dont blow your money like that when you have bills you cant do that unless you have a really good job. Learn to manage your money.

Answer 6

As you are old enough to be on your own you no longer should feel like you must tell you mother personal details about your life. She should not expect you to. Tell her you bought some fun things for your self, but since you agree you really should not have spent so much on such frivolous stuff that you did not need you will put your self on a stricker budget and not spend like that for a while.

You should have a job and you should work at least 16 hours a week while you are in college full time. Are you doing that?

Answer 7

If you want to become financially independent from you mom, than you need to be a grown up about your money.
Quite spending money on stupid things like booze and pretty bottles!! 300 dollars on crap is not very responsible. It's one thing if you are paying bills with it, another if you are just blowing it.
If it's her money you are spending, she has every right to complain when you are irresponsible with it. If it's your money and you have a JOB!! then she doesn't get a say in it.

If the bank account is yours, she can't take it away from you. Open a different account, with only your name on it.

Your sexual encounters are your own business, and who you share this information with is up to you! If you don't want your mom to know, then don't tell her. It's as easy as that. You want to keep you private life, private?
Then do it. Not everyone needs to know every move that you make!!

Lets be grown ups about life and quit making everyone else responsible for how things aren't working. If it's broke fix it.

Answer 8

If it's your money and she's not been depositing any into your account, I agree with the majority that she has no say over it. I would recommend a budget, but that has little to do with your mother. About your private life, continue being very careful, but know that she doesn't have to know everything. That's why they call it a PRIVATE life. Yes, she's your mother, but unless you two are really close, you don't have to tell her of your actions. Do stay connected to her, because, no matter how irritating she is, she's your mom. I've learned that the more I tell my mom, the more she expects me to tell her. Which, in turn, gets REALLY annoying. Good luck sweety!

Answer 9

I am sorry to say so you should come clean with at least one of these money wasters.....maybe as to appear more grown up and responsible so she will keep giving you money you could confess to thte drinking...and tell ehr it is not a problem but it is a habit you wouldlike to stop & began seeking help...once she sees how responsible you've been with it she might come around...essentially she has to...she's your mother nad if she didn't love you she wouldn't be filling your account with random money you can throw away at a wim...and if she stops paying for oyu you (I assume) will be broke and perhaps out on the streets....she will have pity on you...& worst comes to worse there is always granny...good luck!!!

Answer 10

Looking at what you have said here in a mother's angle, she has all reasons to suspect your behaviour and spending habits. A mother is a mother and you should understand that. If you can confide, talk to her, otherwise try to live with the situation for some more time. She is going to know about your activities, if not today, tomorrow and she can understand that.!!

Answer 11

You are 22 and an adult. You do not have to tell your mother anything about your personal life. Your mother sounds a bit controlling and you need to become more independant and have your own bank account without your mother's name on it.
I think your mother wanted to have this account with you so she could monitor what you do.

Be independant, if you live at home, stop your foolish spending and get your own apartment.