Why are so many people against spanking kids?

Question

I grew up in a conservative household and was spanked often and I'm OK now (watch it my personal friends here!)
Now, ask me this: Are kids better behaved today, say compared to the 70's? Now I'm not saying, lets beat them causing bruises and cuts, but c'mon, a few swats here and there or even a mild paddling wouldn't do harm, right?
And if you say, "it teaches violence" Hmmm!!! Kids are way more violent today than yesterday - ie, school shootings and all.
I say, bring back the paddle! any cheers?????

You are right Legal and I knew I would get spanked for this question.

Answer 1

Hip Hip Horray!
I believe in spanking my children, but I attempt to resolve the situation without resorting to corporal punishment first.

Kids today are more unruly than they have ever been. I think that we are in an age where the parents want to still have an acitve social life instead of assuming the role of being an active parent. More children are being raised by their grandparents today, than ever before. And people don't see a problem with this.

Children just don't fear adults like they used to. I was raised to respect my elders. I don't know what happened, but something has gone terribly wrong.

Bring on the paddles and the weeping willow switches!!

EDIT:
I do think that the reason children are so unruly today is from the lack of parental involvement and discipline.
AND I think that is what she is implying when she posted the question. Not sure, but that is what I've read into it.
She is symbolizing spanking with disciplining our children. BUT thats JMO.. I could be wrong!

Answer 2

If spanking is not routinely used as punishment, but a very rarely applied wake-up call, I think it's appropriate. The purpose should be to get a child's attention, not vent a parent's momentary anger or frustration. What else does anyone suggest if a small child is ignoring "no, stop", about to do something dangerous or harmful, and almost daring mom or dad to do something about it? One swift whack on the backside reinforces that the behavior can't be tolerated. The notion that it teaches violence is nonsense.

The problem with spanking, though, is that it can easily be overdone, since it's usually resorted to in the heat of the moment. And, of course, if a child gets a swat every day, then its effectiveness is totally lost. So for most parents it's a pretty fine line to walk. I guess I'd rather see no spanking (but effective and consistent discipline otherwise!), than whalloping a child at the drop of a hat. When you get right down to it, habitual spanking amounts to lazy parenting.

Answer 3

Because spanking alone solves nothing, and is only an immediate deterrent. Once the threat of being spanked is gone, where does the child's behavior go? Plus, parents use spanking as a stopgap measure, thinking that they can give their kids a quick swat on the bottom, and somehow equate that with "parenting" them. There are no easy solutions, and spanking a child, in most cases, is nothing more than lazy parenting.

Fear does not equal respect. Spanking a child might make them fear their elders, but it doesn't make them respect them. I should know, because I was raised in such a "conservative" household, and nothing about spanking made me respect my parents. Quite the contrary, I learned to avoid my parents. While I do love my parents, I have never spent time with them if I didn't need to, or for holidays. All spanking ever taught me was how to NOT get caught when I misbehaved.

While I currently practice consensual spanking of adults, I would rarely, if ever, lay a hand upon a child. There are just far too many other options. Even if I did, it would not be the "slap and forget about them" that most parents practice. To be honest, if I did spank a child, it wouldn't be very different from how I would spank an adult woman.

They would know that the spanking was coming, and would be scolded and lectured at length about what they did. They would know that I was disappointed in their behavior, and why what they did was wrong. I wouldn't just say "no" without giving a reason, or tell them why what they did hurt, or could have hurt, someone.

The spanking would be firm, as it would not be an everyday occurrence, and would need to be remembered. I would want them to be able to list off every spanking that they ever got, so each instance would mean something, rather than just be a part of the daily routine.

Afterwards, they would be held and reminded that I loved them, even when they misbehave, and they would be told that they're forgiven for what they did. They would not simply be sent to their room to cry, or back outside to play. Discipline is not something that can be started and finished in five minutes, and shouldn't be.

If more parents practiced discipline like this, then I'd be happily in favor of the occasional sore backside on a child. However, society is as it is today because of a lack of PARENTING, and not a lack of spanking. Most of these violent criminals, after all, are from low income families, which are much more likely to practice spanking in the home, if not outright beating. Unless changes are made in how parents take time for their kids, I would never favor spanking. Without taking the time to truly follow through, spanking doesn't so much teach that they shouldn't do what they did, but that it's alright to express displeasure through hitting, and that they can avoid this simply by not getting caught. In this fashion, they never develop the one thing that truly causes a person to choose right over wrong... a conscience.

For such an outdated viewpoint, Lily, I think that YOU are the one that needs a spanking!

Answer 4

I don't have a problem with parents spanking their kids, but there are a few caveats:

* spanking is not beating. I'm talking about a swat on the tush with a hand. No hitting with objects, no leaving marks, nothing that is going to cause physical harm to the child.

* spanking is NOT to be done in the heat of anger.

* spanking has to be part of a complete disciplinary "program." It has to be understood that it happens for violating specific rules, and there should ALWAYS be a warning. And it should be a last resort.

I do think it is possible to be a good parent and properly discipline your children without spanking. The biggest problem today, in my opinion, is that too many family have NO discipline, rules, or expectations at all.

Answer 5

I am for using spanking as a form of disciplinary action. When my children do something wrong, my husband or I takes the kid in to the other room and sits them down and talk about what happens, and what the punishment will be. We take a few seconds so we are not angry and in the heat of the moment then we go ahead and follow through, we always make sure the kid knows that they did wrong and that we love them. Spanking is has worked out for my family.

Answer 6

Totally agree.

Anti spanker's always try to falsely link spanking with violence. When all of us can see how past generations, who were brought up with spankings (more spanking then today's children were ever brought up with) had a less violent society. Am I saying more spanking alone makes a less violent society? NO, there are many other factors too, spanking is one of them. What that does prove is that spanking doesn't make a violent society either. People today fear losing their children, that fear paralyzes their ability to correctly enforce consequences which in my opinion is a vital part of parenting.

Anti spanker's are not satisfied with just bringing up their own children w/out using spanking, they also want to make you to do the same. Personally I don't care if someone chooses not to spank. What makes me angry is someone attempting to pass legislation (even though it failed) baning the use of spanking (see California) with no proof that the method is harmful.

My personal opinion is similar to yours, maybe not the paddle, but good old fashioned spankings could do a lot of children some good. However that's my opinion, I am not telling anyone to do something they don't believe in, only insisting people don't attack what works for me.

Like someone else said, props to you for having the courage to post this question.

Answer 7

I am against spanking in certain conditions. First, no teacher or bus driver should be able to. Second, the adult should have to have a cool down period before they do so they don't accidentally hurt the kid out of frustration (happens all of the time). Last, there are less parents now than there were before, not just spankings.

Answer 8

A Good Spanking is need sometimes not all the time... if it becomes all the time it means spanking not working. The child becomes what you call thick skin and slow develops a inmunity and the effect of spanking wears off. This is when hate and anger takes over and the child may start to develop resentful feelings and also violent behavior towards others or/and self.

Spank with reason.. so explain to the chld what the spanking is for and also allow the child to explain to you what the spanking is for.

Answer 9

I don't know that kids are all that worse behaved now than they were in the past. I think the media and the larger world population may make it seem so to you. That, coupled with the fact that you are actually living *now* and therefore more aware of what is happening around you in the world - history doesn't necessarily document well the actual day to day life of generations of people. I believe that children were on average just as violent in the past as they are now, using the technology that they had available to them.

And, on that note, I challenge your hypothesis that parents spanked more often in the past than they do now. My own parents didn't spank & they married in the 1940's (and had 10 children over the course of the next two decades). Neither of my parents were spanked, either, a generation back.

I'd like to see some kind of statistical (not anecdotal) information saying that spanking was more prevalent in the past than it is now. And, would like to see the same evidence showing an actual rise in violence, too.

The final fact that I'd like to see is a study showing that children who are spanked are better behaved than children who are disciplined in other ways. I have yet to see that correlation in my own personal life. It seems that children who are spanked are just as likely to misbehave as children who are disciplined using other methods. Do you have any study showing otherwise?

Answer 10

I was spanked as a child, and am also perfectly fine now, but that was the 80's. I do spank on occasion with hand only, and only over something extreme, and after three other warnings to correct the bad behavior, so my kids very, very rarely continue on that far. For me spanking is the ultimate last result, and never done in anger.