My daughter gets married in 3 weeks. Yesterday was the deadline for RSVP. However, about 14 people did NOT RSVP. I am concerned about perhaps that little envelope got stuck in junk mail and/ or lost. Is it proper to call and "follow up" to see if it is a yea or Nay??? Kind of touchy and don't know what to do....anyone?
2007-05-01 00:05:32 · 13 answers · asked by dagostino09 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Q&A: Wedding Guests: What if They Don't RSVP?
Q. If invited guests do not respond to a formal wedding invitation, even though a response card was supplied, should we call them to find out if they will come? Or can we assume that they're not coming?
A. As far as final head count goes, you should never assume. Call to see if they're coming. You never know -- maybe they think they sent the response card but it may be hiding under a pile of mail. If calling is a problem, assume that they are coming, and make sure there’s food and seats for them. It's better to have extra grub and room than to have neglected guests wondering where to sit!
HOPE THIS HELPED AND CONGRATULATIONS!
2007-05-01 00:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sr. Mary Holywater 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just call them, it is the right thing to do, and polite. Be light and happy, say, "hey, JIm, we haven't heard from you, do you plan to come to the wedding? Final head count to the caterer is due tomorrow, the caterer will not change the order after that." [Insert your personal info on the caterer].
And if the person does not reply by the caterer's deadline, too bad, they do not come to the reception, their loss, not yours. If they beg to come, they could be told to come after the meal is served, and cleared away, but only if you want that. . Some caterers do a head count, some charge by the number of plates taken from the stack. Some put out a certain quantity of food, charge for it, and if there isn't enough to go around, too bad. Depending on how your caterer charges, you could be paying more money than you planned, or short someone who did RSVP on a meal. Up to you what to do about it.
Yes, invites do get lost in the mail, but mostly it is forgotten, or the person doesn't know what RSVP means, or decided it does not apply to them. I have seen all 3 scenarios talked about here on Answers!
Call, it will ease your mind. Congrats to the happy couple.
2007-05-01 03:17:12 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not 'touchy'... YOU didn't do anything wrong, the guests who failed to RSVP did! Call and ask... if you get voice mail leave a message and say if you don't hear back by tomorrow you'll put it down as a 'no'... and if you have any more children getting married in the future don't bother to invite the non-responders!
2007-05-04 16:00:19 · answer #3 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-05 04:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is appropriate to follow up. They either did not get the invitation or did not RSVP like they were supposed to. Split up who is going to call who then have them get the RSVPs to whom it needs to go to.
2007-05-01 05:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely call to find out if they are coming. You need an accurate "head count" for the caterers right?
This is important, you don't want to end up with too many dinners, or not enough because people came without responding.
Good luck and congratulations.
2007-05-01 00:48:01 · answer #6 · answered by meg3f 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would give people a call and ask them nicely if they are coming, often people forget to RSVP and you need to know how many are attending, so it is only right to call those people up.
2007-05-01 00:14:18 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's certainly appropriate to make a call. Let them know that you're preparing a final headcount and you hadn't heard from them and were concerned that maybe the invite got misdirected. That way you're not accusing, but you get the info you need.
2007-05-01 01:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one ever get's a 100% return rate...
I think you only really need to know if you're having a seated dinner and need to know if they want steak or chicken (or whatever...). If you're having a buffet/hors d'oeuvres, etc., just forget it. Estimate, and you'll be fine.
2007-05-01 13:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by JessicaMarie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need an accurate count.
Unfortunately, all mothers of brides have to do this for the "final" count.
2007-05-04 16:41:07 · answer #10 · answered by chansenfam@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋