My husband and I have just found out, by accident, that we are having a girl.
He has a son from a previous relationship, and was kind of hoping for a boy this time. I think it has more to do with the fact that he knows what to expect with a boy - having been there before.
Anyway, he kind of feels strange about having a girl. He says he doesn't know what to do with a girl. I think he feels awkward about the diaper changes etc....
Is that an odd/unusual reaction?
He's a wonderful dad to his son and I know he will be a fantastic father to our daughter, but I think he feels awkward about certain aspects of the whole baby girl thing.
He's the type of person who exercises alot of respect and discretion when it comes to women. He won't even come into the bathroom if I'm having a tinkle because he just thinks it's disrespectful.
Any comments?
Any suggestions on how to put his mind at ease?
I think overall he's mainly nervous of unfamiliar territory.
Thanks!
2007-04-30 23:38:14 · 15 answers · asked by person 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No when my daughter was born having been married before and having sons from first marriage I was like your husband and didn't feel right about changing her diapers. I changed my boys with no problem. I just felt like a girl is so different, I didn't want to do it.
2007-05-01 02:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure it is just fear of the unknown. I know after my first daughter was born I was so happy when I found out I was having a second girl just because I knew exactly what to expect. From volunteering in the nursery at church, I have now changed a few boys diapers but I am always afraid that I'm going to do some damage. Tell him there is one benefit to changing a girl's diaper, she will never pee in his face.
2007-05-01 01:34:43 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not a respect issue. It is not disrespectful for a dad to wipe his baby girl's "areas", or bathe her...everywhere. You do it WITH respect, and because of respect.
My husband was just nervous about babies in general, but the more they do everything for and with them, the more it is just second nature.
My new husband was a fish out of water with my daughter. I took no excuses. If I had allowed him to be nervous or unsure, they never would have found a relationship. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that she was God's most awesome gift to him, and that they would learn through sheer TIME. When he went to the store, she went with him. When he worked in the yard, she was there. When he bought me flowers, one went to her. They are now so close that she calls him daddy and wants no other. (Which is good because the "other" is a MIA deadbeat.)
2007-05-01 02:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by Loring 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta giggle, new Dads are sooo cute, aren't they? I can pick a guy whose been in a delivery room out of any crowd...the look on their faces is priceless!!! LOL
You are right...it's comfort zone tear-down, and men so love their comfort zones. But he has no idea what is in store for him...the bond of Father & Daughter can be extremely tight from deep within. He'll be just great, Mom...sounds like you have quite a keeper for the job at hand...let him go with his own flow...just think, he is about to experience the female from the ground, up...just as we get to do the same with our sons...brings lots of understanding (and crazies) to the realm, yes? LOL
2007-05-01 00:10:46 · answer #4 · answered by MsET 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was nervous about the diapering etc. at first with our daughter. Now like the other user said he has nor fear with her. She is the center of his universe. I think its normal to have a bit of fear with the unknown, but with babies, yes it is unknown, but its also pretty much natural instinct and love that gives you the right answers.
Just tell him not to worry it will be all fine once his little girl his here.
2007-04-30 23:52:22 · answer #5 · answered by Esther D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh he is so precious!
OK we had 5 boys before we had our little girl.
When I was pregnant with her he said so many things like
"i wont be" "i will be" etc
She was born 12 weeks early and he fell in love with her of course.. ever since the first moment he saw her.. she has had him wrapped around her little bitty fingers.
He will not change pooy nappies... but is ok with wet ones...
wont change poo cos he is hesitant to have to wipe her private area.. which.... ANY father should/would.
I wont go into the whole child abuse thing but I support my partner in his choice to not do it.
Of course if Im at work and she poops.. he does change it.
Just dont push him into doing too much and he might surprise and you fall head over heels for this tiny pink bundle and not let you do anything!!!
He will be the first man she will ever love... and the last.
2007-04-30 23:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by who_me? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband wanted a girl from day one. But as soon as he had to change her diaper he freaked out. He got over it very quickly though. So don't worry, your husband will be fine. He will love that little girl and be a great dad!! Congrats!!
2007-05-01 00:24:50 · answer #7 · answered by Libby L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My partner had the same anxieties and was hoping for a boy, when our girl was born then, he totally fell in love and does everything with her. As for changing nappys he just did and it wasnt weird. i felt the same when we had our son about changing nappy's, but you just do it and it's normal. seeing that your child is helpless and cant wipe his own bum, the parent instinct just comes naturally and i'm sure thats what your partner will be like.
Once your little girl grows and falls in love with her daddy, i dont think he'll have any hesitations...he'll probably ask himslef why he was so worried.
Good luck
2007-04-30 23:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by jinglebells 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this were me i might want to be very worried that he has already did not educate her(withholding the truth remains mendacity), then once you confront him he genuinely lies to you, then he tells you she isn't his. And yet she is coming to visit this summer season...hmmm. Did you verify with the genuinely mom and she or he advised you that the newborn isn't his bio newborn? Or is this something he has advised you and because that you want him SOOOOO a lot and dont desire to end the relationship that you determined you may trust him? i might want to genuinely be worried about what else he's mendacity to you about as well. yet thats in basic terms me and its no longer my first rodeo. As on your coverage of no waiting made kinfolk properly it appears like you've one. you are able to tell your self that he's not the daddy yet in all my years I genuinely have not in any respect run for the time of a guy who both steps up and takes duty for a baby it truly is no longer biologically his, invites her for a visit the position he will placed funds into her and time which include her and yet neglects to educate to his gf that she is alive. those issues in basic terms dont bypass at the same time. My intestine feeling is he's mendacity to you nevertheless. And to the i desire to be the in basic terms lady in his existence i will say this to you. you want to augment up and get genuine. Sorry to be harsh yet you're sounding like a egocentric bratty newborn of below 8. what's the count number number? Are you afraid she is going to thieve him from you? That she will be able to go back first? That he will love her in a way that he will not in any respect love you? If he's any variety of a guy or father he will do all those issues. in case you had a baby with him and then you chop up might want to you want him to placed his new gf over your newborn? See the deal is that karma is a ***** so i might want to be quite careful about what you desire for cuz you in basic terms may get it yet ought to observe your own newborn's heart smash at the same time as he denies your toddler to the subsequent lady.
2016-10-18 05:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once he has held her and changed her a few times he will be fine!! Since he is a "good" Dad to his son he will be a good Dad to his daughter too.
2007-05-01 00:53:24 · answer #10 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋