Are there any long term effects for girls without a mother?

Question

my mam left me at the age of 14, i am now 18. Luckily i am coping, but im worried tht i have scarred emotionally.

Answer 1

I am not sure if its just girls but if you felt abandoned as a child this can lead to long term issues in your life like relationship problems and finding it hard to get close to people all them brick walls are never good for anyone. Clearly you are worried about what happened and I know this must have been and maybe still is a big issue for you. The best advice I can say is to see a therapist to help you get over it all. I always so it does not matter how big or small the problem is its how it effects us that really matters. take care, good luck.

Answer 2

If you are coping then there shouldn't really be a problem. It's when you can't cope that the problems come in. It's like fatherless girls. They usually become "sluts" and have a lot of premarital sex...they're usually the porn stars that you see today. They never had a father figure in their life or a daddy to tell them that hey that skirt is too short. It's very sad. But don't worry because I lost my father when I was 14 and now I am 16. The coping thing is coming slow for me but I'm not saying it won't. If you are already coping then that's a sign of maturity and most likely will not be scarred. You are also going down the right path. If you feel you will be scarred then see some couseling just for your own sanity, and peace at mind.

Answer 3

I'm sorry that your mom left you. You don't say how she left, but regardless, the feeling of abandonment is not an easy one to deal with. Take some time to grieve over her leaving.
If possible, seek out counseling to help you deal with your feelings of abandonment. Unfortunately, her leaving has left an impression on you of what a mother shouldn't do to her child and probably given you ideas of what you would do with your own children when you become a mother.

I understand your feelings of loss. My mother died when I was 5 years old and the woman my dad married a couple of years later was not motherly to me as I was growing up. I am 48 years old now, have two grown children - and it would have been nice to have a mom to have around when I was pregnant with my children, share my feelings and thoughts as I reared my children and someone who I could go to for comfort as I went through my divorce. I'm recovering now from having breast cancer - and having a mom to take care of me would also be a comfort. Thankfully, I have some wonderful friends - some older women - who have given me support and good advice. It's not the same as having a mother, but you learn to deal with what you have and realize that there are people that love and care about you.

I am hoping that you have some other female that is close to you that resembles what your idea of a mother would be. As you get older you will think about events in your life where you wish you could go to you mother to talk and share with her your life experiences and compare her life experiences to yours. Finding another older woman friend that can give you some perspective on life experiences helps immensely, but I understand that this will never replace what a mother means to you.

I hope that you find peace in your life as a motherless daughter and make yourself into the person you want to be.

Answer 4

Girls that grow up without a mother or mother figure might become violent and rebellious and depressed, like boys without a father figure. At least you recognise that there could be some effect, so you should be able to cope. It might effect you into your late 20's and early 30's, but as long as you realise this, then you'll be able to deal with it rationally, I hope this helps. You might want to read some books on being a woman, I'm not saying that you won't become a woman, but books on this subject will help with the development you weren't able to get in the nurturing sense.

Answer 5

All of our life experiences effect in positive and negative ways. We decide what we do with them. Of course the abandonment of child is very traumatic but you will always decide what you do with the pain. You can have a good life. You may at times struggle with fears of abandoment but as long as you realize where it came from you will be fine.

Answer 6

u wont be as girly if no mother figure but life would suck without a mom for me cause my mom is the greatest mom a daughter can have ever and I didnt have a father around and I was better off cause he was abusive and a drunk and stole money from me and didnt love me and dint want me in his life so i focus on all love i got from my mom and also on others who mean alot to me and good to me and special to me and i mean alot to

Answer 7

just have to be strong. I'm not a girl but I lost my mother when I turned 12 so I basically know from experience your loss.

Answer 8

thank god for the people you do have in your life not the ones you dont have i grew up without a dad and i turned out ok