What do you do when life as a parent becomes overwhelming? Does it stay that way forever?

Question

I have three kids, two in school, and a 17 month old daughter. Between the three of them I feel like I'm sucked dry... not to mention the draining relationship I have with Dad. I need HELP!

Answer 1

Try to get some perspective. Parenting is frequently overwhelming but usually great at the same time. Why not see about finding a counselor to talk to. The benefit of talking to a counselor instead of a friend is that you don't have to see the counselor at the next holiday function etc and you can talk freely without worrying that anything will get back to anyone. When I get overwhelmed, I try to declare a Mental Health Day. I opt out of the housework (which I always regret later because then I fall behind, but it helps) and spend all day playing with my kids (Candyland, video games, the park, play-doh, anything). I look at the baby books during naptime and make fun meals (brownies with milk for breakfast, a lot like syrup smothered pancakes if you ask me, Spaghetti Os or something easy for lunch and we order in something for dinner). Try to spend the day thinking about why its fun to be a mom, what you like about each of your kids, even what you like about the useless mess-making lump that we call a hubby (this part's the hardest...lol). After everyone has gone to bed, sit down and write a letter to Dad about what you feel and what you need him to do to help you through it (don't bother telling him what he is doing wrong, it will only start a fight). Guys like it when we give them a list of things that will make their lives easier and make us nag less. Keep it in the present (no past mistakes showing up) and keep it under a page. OR
Take a vacation, leave the kids with dad and escape out with some sisters or old friends or just hide in the library and read a book (quiet is such a relief sometimes).
Good luck.

Answer 2

Parenting is one the hardest job there is. I don't think it will stay like that forever it's just when there younger is what makes hard but as they grow it gets better the the parent has little more freedom just have to take it day by day and do positive things. If you feel overwhelmed take a break have family or friend watch the kids treat yourself get out it helps. Even mothers need a break too. As far as your dad don't know what your situation is so i really can't help with that.

Answer 3

oh, I feel for you, That is a terrible way to be feeling. Are you taking *me* time. Not with Dad. but just for you. That helps a lot. Even is all you do is have a bath with earplugs in and the door locked (make sure someone responsible is with kiddies) Try sitting down with Dad, and explain how you feel, maybe between the two of you, you can figure out something so you can get some rest.
I wish you Tons and Tons of Good Luck and hope you feel better soon

Answer 4

Make sure you eat well, get some exercise and enough sleep. I know it sounds impossible, but do your best. Also try to look beyond the overwhelmed feelings to be open when it does get better. I have found that when I take time to notice the moments of calm, beauty and other positive qualities, it gives me food for thought which sustains me through the aftermath of the more intense, draining times.

It isn't forever. It just feels that way.

Try to get your adult relationship to where is it is more supportive to you and sustaining.
Try to get hold of a common goal and reason for all this commotion! Raising even one child is difficult. You are doing tough work! Take care of yourself!

Answer 5

I am a single father with three daughters and no one can tell you is going to be easy, however the one thing that really work for me was to take one day at a time and even though it look like life stop all of a sudden before you realized time went by to quick and you will be able to enjoy the beautiful things life had offered you. Just be positive and take it one day at a time.

Answer 6

ME TIME! You need it badly. One of the things we forget to do as moms and wives is take time out for ourselves to breathe and sort of regroup. It is very important for you not to forget about YOU. If you don't take care of YOU how can you take care of others? Even if it's once a month, I would schedule some ME TIME. Also, joining a moms club helps a lot, having other women to talk to and get together with is a great outlet for venting and getting advice from other moms that are going through the same thing as you or have already gone through it. Mothers supporting Mothers. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

It isn't easy to be a parent.
We all have those feelings.
You really need to take time for yourself
And it sounds like you and the hubby need some counseling.
When he is home hand him the baby and YOU go for a 20 minute brisk walk.
Take time for yourself or you will burn out.

We can't take care of those we love until we take care of ourselves.

You maybe can find a mother's group to join. Or a church. Or join a babysitting co op.

You definatly need some personal time.

Answer 8

you really need to take time out for yourself. Do 5 things a day for yourself. take a hot shower, get your toes or nails done, you need to keep you pampered!

I dont have lots of $ but go shop at the dollar store-they have much stuff to pamper us with for only $1.

i only have 1 kid, and a husband that is deployed, so i can understand the 'drained' effect.

Answer 9

Your feelings are normal.
I have 4 children and a demanding job, there are times I feel as if I just can't face another day.
I have recently decided to make time for myself, I have been going to the gym early in the morning before my children wake up, it has given me a whole new out look and I feel great.
Hope this helps.

Answer 10

This sounds hard but you have to try to find time for yourself. It is very important to spend time with dad also, but you need to be able to have time to your self or you go crazy. I stay home with my 4 kids and it is very hard to even go to bathroom alone. Talk with your husband and tell him how you feel and do something for yourself.