Hi,
I am single and coming to the end of my rental lease. I have been living on my own in apartments for the past ten years. I have to make a choice quickly on whether I should renew my lease. My parents want me to move in with them. During the past year, my father's health has really declined and my mom has to take care of him for most of the time. He has his good days and bad days. In a way, I know it is the moral thing to do so I could help my mom with my dad. Also, it would help me out financially since I live paycheck to paycheck. I could finally save money. But my parents live in a two bedroom townhouse. I would have my own bedroom, but still it will be cramped quarters. Also, I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think...but I will be a 32 year old living with her mommy and daddy. I have always been very independent and I can't stand the thought of losing my independence. But if I continue to live on my own, I will feel guilty for not helping them out. Also,
2007-04-30
18:16:49
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14 answers
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asked by
Angrygirl5
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Family
I am sorry to say but you do sound selfish to me. Who raised you? Who gave you their all, and sacrificed everything for you. Now you don't know what you should do because you don't want to live in CRAMPED quarters? You can't stand the thought of losing your independence? Then you think of the benefit you will have financially if you do move in with them?
You say you feel guilty if you don't help your mom with your dad now, You know it is the MORAL THING TO DO. So just do it.
Without any doubt you should move in with your parents, and help your mother tend to your dad. What is family for???? Not only will it help you mother physically, but it will help your dad to have better days. There will be life in the house when you move in. I say do it. Your not helping them will only cause you to feel more guilty. Guilt is a killer. Just think how guilty you will feel once they pass on.
Move in with them now, and maybe eventually you will be able to find living quarters close by.
I hope you make the moral decision, and behave like a loyal grown adult. AGAIN I SAY WHAT IS FAMILY FOR?? THINK OF ALL THE SACRIFICES YOUR PARENTS MADE FOR YOU, AS YOU WERE GROWING UP.
2007-04-30 19:47:47
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answer #1
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answered by michelebaruch 6
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I think you are in a perfect place to do just what you need. Your lease is up. Your parents need help. You are living pay check to pay check. You didn't mention a romantic interest.
I'd say plan on moving in with them, helping them out, (you will look very caring to all concerned), you can save for a place of your own, and not lose a penny!
Make sure your parents and you have regular meeting to keep your relationship in the open. Make sure you don't resent the time you are spending, or they worry then its a lost cause. Maybe even put time limits on this, so the tight quarters is a bearable thing. If the time comes that professional help is needed, make sure you are all in agreement in advance. Failing health is an emotional time for all. Keep communication open, and this may work to everyone benefit.
2007-04-30 18:29:40
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answer #2
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answered by almondsarenuts 3
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Hi
You have to move with ur parents from my point of view. I just want to tell u one story and u will automatically get the answer. There is a 60+ yr old man sitting with his son.AT that time a crow sits on the window and the old man asked his son what is the name of that animal.The son replied that it is crow. again after some time the old man asked that same question again and the son replied angrily that it is crow.This happened 4 times and at last the son said why are u asking the same question again and again.Cannot u understand me .it is so much disgusting.Then the old man said that when u r of 5 years u asked me this question so many times and also i replied it to u bcoz i know that u just want to know more. but u are totally different at this time and also ur behaviour.
I think now u understand what i am going to say and u got ur answer bcoz now ur parents need u and this is their poor time.
2007-04-30 18:40:31
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answer #3
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answered by pravat_2005 1
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First of all -- it does NOT matter what others think -- that you have a good relationship with your parents at this time, and they DO want you to be with them (and they definitely need your help!).
So by all means .. enjoy the time with your parents, because when one or the other (or both) pass on .. it will be the positive memories that you have cultivated during these times that will sustain your strength (and the knowledge that they have passed on to a better state of being at that time).
LEARN from them. LISTEN to their history, write it down and record it. THAT is your family .. and your heritage. ENJOY their company while they are living.
2007-04-30 18:32:54
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answer #4
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answered by sglmom 7
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I think you should move in and don't worry about what others think because in the long run they will end up not having anyone to care for them when they need it You could still be independant too just keep your head up and pray that it all gets better
2007-04-30 18:21:03
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answer #5
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answered by netline32 2
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There is nothing wrong with moving back in with your parents after being on your own for ten years. Like you said you mom needs help with your father and you can always think of it as a temporary solution that suits everyone's needs.
2007-04-30 18:32:22
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Did you ask them to purchase the fee ticket or did you ask them to place it on their cc and you provide them the money? in case you will desire to ask them to pay for the fee ticket then you definitely are no longer waiting to be shifting to a techniques faraway from loose room and board. Get a activity now and commence saving, this is rather high priced to get out on your individual, in some months you're starting to be money to bypass on and somewhat time to make confident this is the ultimate suited pass for you. Is there some thing or somebody in CA which you attempt to get to? in line with risk they do exactly no longer desire to confirm you bypass to a techniques from the nest until eventually they experience tender which you're arranged. My son purely became 18 and that i'm battling the emotional curler coaster of no rely if to permit him stay in my homestead. no longer at school and has no activity. In my undertaking i'd desire to would desire to push him out to ensure that him to check that life isn't a trip.
2016-10-04 04:33:54
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answer #7
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answered by ? 4
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Have you considered getting a place closer to your parents? That way you could be close by when they needed you, but still have your own place.
Maybe you could sit down with your parents and discuss it with them and all of you come up with something that you are all comfortable with. I know you love your parents, but it is awful hard to go home once you have been on your own. .
2007-04-30 18:49:12
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answer #8
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answered by grandmaL 3
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As the time passes the table turns.Our parents become depended on us and i feel like it will be the right thing to do for you to move in with your parents.At least for a little while.You have your whole life ahead to be independent again.But for now,i think they need your help.So be there for them.
2007-04-30 19:06:05
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answer #9
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answered by avavu 5
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Its a rock and a hard place, but if it was my situation I'd move in with them because they need you. They took care of you til you were old enough and its time you helped them out. All parents have that fear in the back of their heads that they won't get help from their kids when they get too old to take care of themselves.
2007-04-30 18:21:15
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answer #10
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answered by cindy h 5
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