I hve trouble forming and maintaining relationships. My family life is fine. We have the occasional argument, and sometimes we are VERY critical and elitist, but all in all I can't complain. Perfectly functional.
That being said, I feel guilty for complaining... but I have lost almost every close friend I have ever had for no concrete reason. I have also never had a serious romantic relationship with anyone. Since I am away at college now, the loneliness is more striking than ever.
I need to know if anyone has any suggestions about how to handle this situation. It doesn't seem to be something I can outgrow.
2007-04-30 16:55:04 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I had the same problem, but the very second i stopped searching for true friends and searching for a potential boyfriend, they came to me. I'm not saying you'll outgrow it, I'm only advisng you to let your friends and lovers come to you because the best kind of friendship is the kind that isn't forced, but just happened to come across you because of fate or some sort of odd similar characteristics between you and the person. good luck!
2007-04-30 17:08:11 · answer #1 · answered by ellen 2 · 8⤊ 0⤋
A cliche saying is, the best way to get a friend is to be one.
Cliche, but still true.The problem is, people change. Changes in their personality can make you 'not compatible' anymore.
Having gone through a similar episode, i now have a small group of good friends, and a larger group of people that accept me as i am, for what i am.
The romantic relationship department seems to be somewhat lacking, but i have no doubt that too will change.
Be confident in yourself, and also be honest. Can you find a reason that might point to you having changed, that could have let your friends drift away from you? Yes - then tackle it, change it, or learn to live / work with that change.
No - then dig deeper, and see if there is a reason why this happened.
It`s not going to be fun, or easy, but this self examination is definately worth the time, effort and pain.
I had a lot of help from the book "Fearless Living" from Rhonda Britten - although not everyone will benefit in a similar manner.
As an alternative, try and spend some time in a foreign country (as in 3 to 6 months, or a year). This will greatly help you get to know yourself, but also gives you a completely clean start. You will have the issue of not knowing anyone, but you`ll also have the bonus of not knowing anyone.
Go for a big change- and good luck.
2007-05-01 00:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are times in life where you will fly solo! Nurture yourself at these times. Get a new style, make sure you are well groomed and always put yourself out there. Go to the book store or music store and just listen to all kinds of music. Take yourself to lunch. Join a meditation class. My motto is even when I am lonely, I never act lonely. I don't act desperate, it scares people. Fake it till you make it baby, I swear it works. Go hear some live music and order a drink or go to the museums in town. Get out there and smile and be cheerful. Do not play the victim, people see it and run. As I said fake till you make and good luck. Once you meet someone and you really enjoy the conversation, suggest meeting for lunch, coffee or tea. Be yourself, natural. Do not force anything, relax. It will happen naturally. But, you need something to talk about besides school and dysfunctional families. So, study up on art, music and travel. That is always light hearted and don't act desperate, even if you are. Confidence is the key also. Hold your head up, walk strong and stay active. Go into nature, join a hiking club. There are so many things out there that are healthy and fun with really interesting and cool people of all ages. Volunteer at a local concert hall to see free concerts or plays. Think about what you enjoyed when you were young and attempt to capture some of it on an adult level.
2007-05-01 00:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Nothing stays the same. Wspecialy when young. Friends come and go many times during life. Some times one or two will last for many years but on averge only as long as both have a comon ground. Change jobs and change froends. Get a few years older and change friends again.
Just normal so do not worry about it.
2007-05-01 00:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋