Should I have to pay the $25?

Question

I'm part of a homeschool co-op and at the start of the year we all are assigned hall monitor duty during the classes. I was assigned in the winter but since I knew I had chronic sinus problems that wasn't a good time for me. So I switched to the last day of school.

I learned I have a chronic painful bladder condition called IC a month ago. It is really painful and right now I am at times confined to bed due to the pain.

2 wks ago I contacted the head of the co-op about my condition and how I wouldn't be able to do the hall monitor job. She told me to find a replacement or pay a $25 fee. I contacted the woman in charge of hall monitor and she never got back to me. I emailed her 3 times and emailed the head of the group 3 times but neither let me know how I was to find a replacement.

So today the day before the co-op I finally get a hold of the head of the group by phone & told that no switching is allowed due to the the end of the school year.

running out of room . . .

My husband spoke to the woman in charge of the hall monitors and told her that I am told by the dr to take it easy and rest. But she still pretty much said it was to late to find someone else.

My husband says I shouldn't even offer to pay the $25 fee. I mean I did give them a 2wk notice, never told how to contact other moms about my problem and stuff like that. Plus this is a medical condition.

I hate to leave them hanging. The $25 fee is like a punishment for not doing your job.

I have been with this group from the time it was being developed. My health kept me from doing more though. I feel close to head of the group and hate it that I can't help.

My pain is to the point where I can't sit up long, walk to much or even stand long enough at times to make dinner . . .

I fear if I don't pay the $25 my kids won't be allowed in the group and this would crush them. They have friends and love their teachers.

But this is unfair I think.

Answer 1

If it was agreed up front that anyone who was unable to do their agreed upon duty would pay the money.....no matter what the reason. Otherwise, you should not pay. My wife is a group leader and I know the group would never punish someone for being sick and unable to do their job. They would probably ask how they could help you at home and with schooling. Charging you this fee seems very cold and uncaring. I can understand charging it for people who agree to do something who just don't follow through.
Take it to a group leader and let they know why you think it is unjust and uncaring.
After that, if they stand firm and you think the kids will be hurt by leaving the group, give them the money and don't volunteer anymore. If anyone asks why, tell them.
Good luck and feel better.

Answer 2

OK, probably not what you want to hear, but I agree that you should pay the $25.
This sounds like a big co-op, and you said you have been involved since it began, so you are bound to know people personally that you could've called or e-mailed when the director told you to find someone.
Also, a co-op, no matter the size cannot survive without guidelines. Since you didn't say you had no idea about the fee, then that tells me that there are guidelines somewhere. In our co-op, each department not only has their rules written in to the agreement that each family agrees to, they also have their own info they give out to the families directly involved in their department, as a reminder.
I would find it extremely odd if you were to say, there are no rules concerning what to do if you cannot fulfill your required duty.
As far as no one getting back to you, that is unfortunate, but I also know how busy co-op leaders are, and perhaps they thought it was not an emergency to contact you since the procedure is written and since you had been a part of the group for so long they knew you knew people to call.
And even if you were new to the group, most co-ops have directories that are (now) e-mailed out with phone numbers and e-mail addresses so you can find someone to fill in if you are sick. That is SOP, you have to give your members access to this stuff or you will fail.
I'm very sorry for your illness, but as someone else said, a co-op does not work unless everyone does their part, whether it's showing up when they agreed to or switching with someone or finding a replacement or paying a fee.

Answer 3

I'm thinking this co-op, like many organizations, must have a "buy out" fee if you can't volunteer. That's what this sounds like. Do you have a copy of the bylaws of the co-op, or is this an informal one?

I'm part of a huge co-op and every single parent is required to volunteer in some way - nursery, teacher aide, set-up, clean-up, hall monitor, etc. We haven't had a case yet where we had to take action on those who haven't helped, but during fall registration, families who didn't help the past year are going to get a stern warning and/or not allowed to participate. It only works when everyone pulls their weight.

If your kids are in the co-op and you cannot help with it, then I think it's only fair (regardless of the situation) that you pay the $25. This will help them either hire someone, or make the job easier for those who have to fill in on top of other responsibilities. It's not fair to other families who do help to have a family that doesn't.

Answer 4

Pay the $25.

I have been in homeschool co-ops both as a participant and a leader. I even had a similar situation as far as health goes that coincided with my turn to teach. I had a miscarriage. It was early enough in the year for me to trade my turn with another mom so I still fulfilled my share. But I didn't expect the leadership to find someone to trade with. I took the initiative myself. If it had been the end of the year and I didn't have a way to make a trade with someone who had not already had a turn I would have been quite willing to hire a mom to take my share to make it fair for her.

From the persepctive of being in leadership in co-op situations, I can tell you that unless the leadership can be firm enough to keep the co-op load distributed, it will collapse as moms that do most of the work burn out and leave the co-op. It is the leaderships duty to provide guidance and justice for the good of the whole. Co-op members must do what they have agreed to or try to compensate the ones who take on their duries in place of them, even when it is a health related reason. The $25 sounds quite fair to me.

Answer 5

How is it unfair? Your kids have participated in the co-op all year. Somehow, in spite of your health problems you have managed to get them there to take part in what the co-op has to offer. Now that it is time to step up and do your part, you suddenly cannot. That reeks of sponging to me!

Why can't your husband take your place? He is half of the parenting duo, so he should step up first if you cannot.

Beyond that, you have to pay the penalty - you've benefitted from everyone else's efforts all year long, now you have to give back in some way too.

Sorry to be so harsh, but I've run a group for many years and we had to put rules in place like this to get rid of the freeloaders! I hope you aren't one, and I truly hope you are all better soon!

Answer 6

I would pay the $25 for the sake of your children. After that, I would make sure I knew all the rules of the co-op and go accordingly. This was a bad situation, but if you want your children to continue in a group where they're happy, $25 is a small amount to pay.

Answer 7

Of course you should pay the fee. Regardless of your reasons, you are unable to fulfill a duty required by the co-op. Why should any of the other parents have to shoulder the responsibility of your illness? If someone offers to do so, that's one thing -- and a very gracious kindness, too, that should never be taken for granted -- but you cannot reasonably expect or require them to do so. Be a responsible adult and pay the fee so a replacement can be secured without saddling the other parents with responsibilities that are not rightfully theirs to bear. It's your responsibility to cover this duty period. Please set a good example for your children and pay the fee without grumbling and complaining. If you cannot physically do the work, please at least see to it that it's covered. Pay the fee.

Answer 8

Pay the $25.00.

As part of the group you agree to do certain things. It is not your fault that you are ill, but it is not the fault of the group either. If you are to stay a part of this group in good standing pay the money without words.

How fair would it be to let you slide on the rules in the by laws but make others abide by them?

Answer 9

IF YOU HAVE A NEWLY DIAGNOSED ILLNESS THAT YOU HAVE NOW TOLD THEM ABOUT THAT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE TO DO THE DUTIES ASSIGNED TO YOU, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR NOT COMPLETING THEM. I WOULD GET A NOTE FROM MY DOCTOR AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS, THREATEN A LAWSUIT FOR MEDICAL DISCRIMINATION. THIS SHOULD WORK.

Answer 10

I would pay the $25 - complaing alot about how unempathetic they are and then no longer associate with them.