Can you answer my question???

Question

My daughter is something else. How can I make her do her laundry without begging, forcing ,or giving her something after she does it? If possible how should i make the room get clean without me doing it?

Answer 1

You posted in toddler &preschooler. If she's four or younger you need to make it clear that "now is clean up time. Mommy will help you a little, but this is your room, you need to put your things away before _____________ (dinner/bedtime/playing outside...fill in the blank)" Then help a little. Model the behaviour you want then tell her you are going to stay and watch her work for a few moments then sit down somewhere and watch her progress.

If she's older7,8,9: she knows the way you want the room to look when you say clean up, but she may still enjoy a little company. I know you said you don't want to do all the work,but could you help for a few minutes? help hang clothes on the high shelf, or dust the high shelf, or get the vaccuum going. You know if you do just that part it's going to get done a little more thoroughly than if she uses the vaccuum herself.
If she's bigger tell her again straight, and give her a consequence if it's not completed
" I don't like the way the room looks right now, you know what I want you to do. Pick it up and get it clean by _______(the time it's dark, tomorrow, this weekend) or you cannot have_____/do_____/buy________(friends come over, ride your bike, I'm taking away all your videos/video games, no going to the movies on saturday.)
If she's big enough to defy you then she's old enough to understand consequences of missing out on something she wants to buy or go and do.
Is she old enough to properly do laundry w/out turning a load of white clothing pink with a red sock?? Well if she is, stop doing her laundry. She will eventually be sick of smelly socks and so forth and either do it herself or her friends will shame her into it. Or she may bribe the friends to help, which strictly speaking is still not you doing it for her, it's friends being helpful. Maybe you could do it that way? Tell her she can invite one friend but they have to seriously clean up or that friend is immediately leaving. I was always the one who came over to help. Maybe that doesn't work anymore but if someone else saw her mess and told her what they think of it, she might reconsider and do something about it.
Does she have a laundry basket that matches her room/bathroom, or a pretty rug she can't see anymore because of the mess? Remind her of these things. Tell her how her mess makes you feel sad because you want her to be healthy in clean clothes/clean linens, upset because you do not want her mess spilling into the hall...etcetera. Sometimes honest talk gets things done, but if she's not that sort of kid, then maybe the other suggestion about consequences. have her stay in the room indefinitely minus all the luxury of electronics, with only breaks for restroom and food until the work is done. Then monitor the progress and encourage and praise her little efforts too.If all else fails close the door and wait for her to reach a little more maturity. Is it really worth fighting over? They don't stay young forever. She's trying to assert some control over her own room, a space you gave to her. I think she will eventually prefer a little more tidiness, I hope, but in the meantime good luck

Answer 2

Check into Love and Logic...seriously. It is all about giving a child choices. Hopefully to suceed but also to fail (without being bailed out by the parent). When they have to face the consequences, a heavy dose of empathy is used. In the long run they learn lessons about life now. In my opinion, she should be rewarded for the EXTRA she does...not for the basics like dishes or laundry, etc. That is just part of being in a family and everyone has responsibilities. If you have to do her share for her...you just won't have the energy to take her to the mall this weekend, how sad...or you can charge her to clean your room, if she doesn't have any money, those games, toys, cds would be okay as collateral...how sad for her if she can't have them for a while ;-) GL

Answer 3

i really depends on her age if she is old enough just stop washing her clothes eventually she will get mad and tired of being the "smelly" kid and do her own laundry the only catch is you really gotta stick to your guns, and on the room thing if she will not pick up then take everything away only leave the essentials like the bed she will be really p.o'd at this one but it is kinda hard to make a mess when you have nothing to make it with. it is our job to teach our children responsability so that one day when they leave home they have the best chance to make it on their own. letting your daughter be lazy and doing everything for her will only make it hard for her when she goes out into the world. she will just think that her messes will get cleaned up for her all the time for example: she is 19 in her very first apartment and 2 days before the rent is due she blows all the money she has on a new handbag. who do you think that she will call i have a crazy huntch that it will be your phone that rings. good luck

Answer 4

always let a child live in their own messy room, embarassment from friends that come over is motivation enough for them to pick up their rooms. And as for the laundry, if the child is able to help sort---let them sort.If the child is able to mate the socks--let them mate the socks...if the child is old enough to understand certain clothes require different tempetures to clean and to dry....let them do their own laundry..if we are talking about a teenager....let them wear the clothes the won't launder....give them hints on how to cover up really repulsive smells....but make it clear to them that WASHING them is the ultimate way to remove smelly odors....goodluck

Answer 5

How old is she first of all? Provide her age and the question will be easier to answer. :)

Answer 6

How old is she?