Why did he dump me out of the blue and just vanish?

Question

He dumped me so suddenly from a three year relationship, out of the blue, then he dissappeared. It was months til I heard a word from him so i asked him for a reason, says i dont know,something has changed but i dont know what. I tried to narrow it down and give him examples, eg is there someone else, is it something i did, did you feel restricted and so on. He denied all of it, but still says he doesnt know, i dont know whether if he is hiding something, i told him i need to know the truth and i dont care if it would hurt me or not but he just avoids it. I dont get it? If this is the only reason then how can someone dump their partner for something they dont even know themselves? I just couldnt see this coming, there was nothing wrong, he kept on saying that he loved me and he was happy and there was no change in his behaviour prior to it? And he didn't even talk about the relationhship at all, even when i tried to talk about it. Im so confused!

Answer 1

Thant is very cruel and difficult for you to come to terms with. The problem I feel is his not yours......in the bigger picture. There is something hiding in the background that he has been very scared of you finding out and probably in his own perverse way felt he did not want to hurt you.....which of course he has and badly. You are right to want some sort of proper closure on all of this, but he sounds unable or unwilling to give you this. You did find out what he was capable of and he would be likely to do the same again. I think maybe best jsut to puthim out of your mind, not all that easy, but move on with your life and accept it is not your fault to be treated in this way. Ignore posts that try to say it was something you had done....if it was he would have told you......it is more likely something he has done and is unable to tell you either because he is inadequate in which case be graeful you are away from him or because he was in some sort of difficulty legally or married who knows but what ever you are better off without the level of disrespect shown in the no explaination. You have asked for an explaination he has not given you one....maybe ask one more time if still not given......tell him how hurt you have been and pursue it no more. Maybe one day a letter of explaination will land and maybe not....but you have a good life to live with lots more bright events on the horizon ....go out and greet .

Answer 2

Think you are right, he is hiding something really BIG. His problem. Walk away. Get some counselling because you need to put this to rest somehow and be able to move on. Sounds like he is not a very brave guy. Imaigine if you were struck down by a serious illness or injured. Would he be the type to 'walk' because he can't handle it..... For whatever reason, no one deserves such treatment. You must be in deep shock. You need to move on quickly. This guy is way too unpredictable.

The truth will come out in the end.

Answer 3

Good friends must not always be together; It is the feeling of oneness when distant That proves a lasting friendship,And you learn that love, true love, Always has joys and sorrow, Seems ever present, Yet is never quite the same, Becoming more than love and less than love, So difficult to define. And you learn that through it all, You really can endure, That you really are strong, That you do have value.

Answer 4

i be attentive to which you fairly want motives to have some closure and that i myself experience for you. it fairly is no longer YOUR fault and it is not some thing you have carried out incorrect! each and every so often relationships come to an end yet there's a manner of coping with issues to objective and reason the different individual the smallest volume of harm accessible, this is the respectable project to do. If somebody which you have have been given been in a dating with for 3 years has dealt with issues the way your ex has carried out then he's the only with the themes! i be attentive to it fairly is less complicated stated than carried out yet you fairly do could pass on and end attempting to artwork this loser out. he's waisted 3 years of it sluggish so do no longer permit him take up from now on of your existence. reliable success babe.x.

Answer 5

It isn't you, it's something else, and he doesn't want you to know about it. Maybe he got into trouble with some nasty people and had to disappear, and didn't warn you in case anything happened to you.

Either way, he could hurt you again ... if he can't give you a reason why he did this to you, perhaps you are better off without him.

Answer 6

IT sound like you just need to figure there is something wrong with him and not you. It will be hard but just try to keep yourself busy and move on. If it was a problem with you he probably would have told you so he is probably just embarrassed.

Answer 7

. It must have been hard for you to cope with, maybe he will tell you when he is ready.Sometimes things can become too much to handle and you just need to get away and see things from a different angle. Good Luck and take care.

Answer 8

i dont know how old you and he are, but maybe it is midlife crisis, maybe you were smothering him and he wanted to get out and "sow some wild oats" before he got old, or maybe you stopped having sex with him as much as you used to because it was new and exciting in the beginning and hurt his feelings when you barely give it to him once a week.

Answer 9

That's cold, really cold. Can't say I can give a reason but i feel for you.

It sounds as if you'll be better off without him in your life at all.

Answer 10

Sometimes one really doesn't know. It just happens. On the other hand it's likely he met someone else . . . maybe even a guy.