How do you deal with being thought of as "perfect"?

Question

Let me start by saying I don't believe I'm "perfect". Life is a process of attaining perfection, or at least coming as close to it as one can.

But one person who knew me claimed I was so "perfect" I made others feel "inadequate" by comparison. She said I trigger the "too good to be true" syndrome where, if someone seems too good to be true, that person shouldn't be trusted.

Another has told me that being with me is so "perfect" that it is impossible for our two worlds to co-exist. I make her unhappy with her world simply by giving her a glimpse of mine.

What is the incentive to being good, to being more than mediocre, to being thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others, to loving others as you would have them love you if, in the process, you find yourself increasingly isolated and alienated from a humanity which otherwise complains about the nastiness of other humans?

(yes, this is a serious spiritual question)

Achieving "perfection" is meaningless if it means being alone. We are social creatures, and thus we need others to share and complete our existence. I am not trying to be an "example of purity". I am trying to be the best I can be, to love and be loved, to be a blessing to friends and loved ones, to help those who are persecuted.

Callista: Yes, I do. But apparently that makes things worse, as this is taken as a display of humility which just makes me more "perfect" in their eyes.

I've always said that anyone can do what I do, if they set their mind to it.

But it has been pointed out by several people: most people do not set their minds to it.

Doll Face: This has been suggested. However, I am not content to experience such a distance between myself and others. I don't think any human would.

If you've seen the movie "Phenomenon" you have some idea of what this is like.

kclightman: Definitely "whole".

Saxman: I believe I am. It's the reason for asking this question (and exposing myself to the ridicule of those who didn't read the question thoroughly).

Learning is a life-long process. There can be no improvement without it.

MsV: Actually, what I say is that what they see is Love inspiring me to be the best I can be. My faith is in something far more basic that God or Jesus.

I believe in Love, and the power of Love to inspire us to better human beings.

Thank you for your thoughtful answer.

Answer 1

What you are really running into is that there are people that by being around you they are then confronted within themselves the - how to say - I guess one word would be 'wrong' that they have within. Not a bad thing at all actually. The spirit within you is just showing forth.

Such has nothing to do with yourself per se - has to do with you putting out for others to see what is within you and that such a realization is what they are really making comment about.

As you point out - anyone can do it. Thing is that many Christians do not.

Something to think about - when someone suggests such, remind them that what they are seeing is God within you and give all the glory to God for such.

There really are people in this world that don’t know that they can attain to and actually live a life that they for whatever reason don’t seem to think even possible.

Are you really “perfect”? No. But God that lives within you and the grace given by Jesus will indeed shine thru to the world and the brightness of such will actually make it so that many will not see the many failings that are within - literally ‘blinded by the light’.

Answer 2

There are two definitions of 'perfect': 1) pure and 2) whole. A pure being is not whole, is imbalanced and out of harmony with the universe. They are out of sync with life, not much fun to be around, and can't understand people who work and live in a world that is definition 2. The objective of this person is continued purity, everything is to be as they think it ought.

A whole being understands the value of chaos, of stepping across boundaries in moderation, gets their hands dirty embracing all of what life has to offer, not just that which is pure. A whole being is not put off by reality, they can accept it and work with what is light and what is dark, because nothing is threatening to them, nothing is outside their scope. There is a time and place for everything. The objective of this person is health, harmony, and happiness.

So which is it? Are you pure, or are you whole?

Answer 3

Are you one who follows the Lord? because if so, it's a very easy answer. You have the holy spirit living inside of you && simply, they don't. if this is the case, then you are a prime example to them as to how content life can be with God in it. Live as if you were Christ. Meaning continue the life Jesus left. && set example to those who are blind, soon they shall see && chose God or not. && when that happens, you have begun what God wants us christians to do.

Answer 4

It sounds as though people are very jealous of you. Do you correct them when they make the claim that you are perfect? I would if you don't already. If I were you, I would just keep doing what I'm doing, you'll get people that appreciate you and others that are jealous of you; I don't think its possible to get everyone to like you so I wouldn't worry about it. Good luck in your future.

Answer 5

Well, are you going to let some "haters" knock you off of your pedestal? Here's the thing... People will always be envious... It's Human nature. You must live your life the best way you know how... And don't let other people influence your ideologies in life.

Answer 6

Noone sane thinks of anyone as perfect.

It sounds like someone didn't wanna be with you any more and told you they didn't want to be with you any more in a way that you wouldn't feel insulted. That is common.

Eternal life is our incentive to being good. Only one was perfect.

Answer 7

Trying to be the best you can be is a wonderful thing. Many people do it. Just remember that humility means teachable. Try to be humble as well.

Answer 8

come back to earth and volunteer your life for a year by serving the sick, poor and the dying without question with the different missions of the missionaries of charities. after a year, let us know if you still feel "perfect."

Answer 9

first off, you are never alone. all souls are connected.

secondly, just be yourself. you are not perfect because you "do" or "say" the right things, but because you, along with all of us, were created perfectly to be who we are. you do not need to strive to be something. you have nothing to prove. you are already everything you ever need to be.

perfection is a myth

Answer 10

Most people deal with the perfection complex by eventually f**king up monumentally.