My friend is married to a man. She had been in a relationship previously before meeting and marrying this man, and she had a child. Well she marries her now husband. Her husband knew she had the child, and treated him as if he was his. They then had a son together. Now all of a sudden the first son is an issue to him.
He complains that the father of the other son doesn't pay child support (even though the father takes him everyday while they are at work so they don't have to pay for daycare for him, as well as takes him for every other weekend; he feeds his son two of the three meals during each day he watches him; he has his own clothes at dad's house, etc.).
The entire thing (her not getting child support from the father of her first son) is an issue that has caused one fight after another. Her husband has now threatened to leave unless she collects support from her ex. What should she do?
2007-04-30 11:07:53 · 9 answers · asked by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
well legally no matter what the father does for his son he still is requied by law to pay child support. now whether your friend wants to go to court to get it is her decision. and as far as her husband, maybe when he had his own child he realized how expensive they are, and the family is a little strapped? maybe your friend needs to sit her husband down and ask him why it matters so much to him that the father pays child support. furthermore, i believe that if you make a baby then you need to financially support it. good for the dad for helping out, but that does not mean that he doesnt have to pay for his daily needs. and if your friend doesnt want his money? so what. put it in an account for when that child needs to buy a car or go to college. that child deserves that money if nothing else.
2007-04-30 11:16:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first question that should be asked is what was the financial situation with your friend and Mr. Relationship before she married.
Next thing she should ask herself if we had a daughter would there still be a problem. Could it be an ego thing of I'm providing for my son. You should be providing for your son.
I think that by Mr. Relationship taking him for the day five days a week, feeding him 2 out of 3 meals a day for the five days that you and your husband work, and buying him his own stuff for his place should be considered some kind of child support to some degree.
If you want to make a point with your hubby find out how much daycare would cost, figure out how much the extra grocery's for daycare lunch would cost and all the other little extras that always seem to creep into the budget. Then on the other side of the paper figure out how much it is costing you guys now with the current situation. You might not be seeing the cash but i can almost guarantee you that when you work out that budget you will see the savings that you are getting with your current situation. I hope this helps and maybe he will chill out once he sees it all on paper and make sure you have actual proof to back you up. Don't forget the time that the daycare opens and closes, that can make a big difference in work schedules, travel time etc.
2007-04-30 11:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kirsten 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound to me more like the husband has become jealous of the babies dad, and is not appreciative of the fact of what money he saves them both by taking care of his son while they both work. Her husband sounds like its more jealousy of the fact that he can't do all that the ex can. If the Ex doesn't have a problem with the arrangment then the Husbands shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
2007-04-30 11:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by dankomata 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im really not sure but since you dont have any answers yet mayb this answer wont be so bad
well i would tryn talk to him and be direct as possible ans ask why does he mind so much after he got a second child.
And if he says that its not the same as his child say that if he cares about his wife wich is ur friend then he should care for his child. And if he addmits that he is doing wrong then that is a good thing because b4 u solve a problem that ur causing u have to be able to addmit it>
2007-04-30 11:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should let him leave and then sue his a.s.s for child support! What a jerk. Mom and son were a package. He should be treating her son as his own, and it sounds like the biological father is doing a great job of pulling his weight. New husband needs to get over himself.
2007-04-30 11:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by lei 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's funny how all sorts of people goof on traditional family values.
Seems to me that traditional family values would have come in handy here.
Sometimes the answer is preventing a problem to begin with.
They both sound like bums. She needs to be more careful about what kind of men she chooses. It takes two.
2007-04-30 11:32:03 · answer #6 · answered by American Citizen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she needs to put her foot down, if its not an issue to her then he needs to get over it, and technically it sounds like he is providing quite well without needing to pay child support.
2007-04-30 11:11:16 · answer #7 · answered by 4Real 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell your friend i told her to put her foot down. sound slike the father is taking excellent care of her first son and her husband just seems greedy for money.
2007-04-30 11:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by JJ's Advice Column 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
her husband has issues....if nothin is broken, then dont try to fix it! (that was for the husband)
2007-04-30 11:13:42 · answer #9 · answered by darkmisstress111991 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋