22 mo. old will not cooperate. constant tatrums all day?

Question

my 22 mo. old boy will not cooperate no matter what i do. i've tried spanking and it didnt work so i don't do it anymore. i put him in his crib for time out when he's having a tantrum. i give him a few minutes and when i go to get him, i ask him if he's ready to be good and cooperate w/ whatever it is we're trying to do. he'll say he's ready to be good, but then he will go right back to his tantrum. I've been consistent, so i think this is just the begining of terrible 2's. Or, he's still spoiled from being sick last week.

He doesn't associate his bed with bad feelings. we've been doing this routine for about a year and he still loves taking a nap and going night night. My pediatrician even told me that his bed is a good time out place and he wouldnt confuse the two.

Answer 1

I know a father who gave me this equation.

A+B+C=D Which translates to "Affection + Boundaries + Consistancy = Discipline."

First, I'm sure you do this, but shower your kid with affection. Make sure they know that you love them.

Children at this age need concrete boundaries. Granted, he is only 22 months old, but you have to teach him from an early age that what he is doing is not acceptable. I'm sure you have already, but make sure you and your husband sit him down and clearly explain to him that that behaviour is not acceptable. Set some boundaries for him as to what is acceptable and what isn't. If he goes outside of them, then you must respond with discipline. It may take time, but eventually he will begin to learn that he can't get away with it. It's good that you are persistent, but be careful that you follow through with your boundaries. If you let him get away with it once, he will get a thought in his mind that you don't mean what you say.

Next, be consistent, as you said that you are. If you set a boundary, enforce it. Granted, there'll be times he may really tick you off and you say "YOU'RE NEVER WATCHING TV AGAIN." Obviously, once you cool off, you'll realize that you can't do that to him, but you need to make sure to re-negotiate this declaration with your kid. The reason why is because if you say it and don't do it, he'll learn not to take your words seriously. However, if you say it and then sit him down later and say "We reconsidered your punishment." Then, renegotiate their punishment with them. This way, you're still disciplining and you're maintaining your integrity with them.

This combination of things will create discipline.

I noticed you said that YOU seem to discipline, but I can't tell from your post if your husband does it as well. If he doesn't, he NEEDS to be an active player in the discipline process. Men are vital in the raising of a child and your husband needs to enforce the same rules that you do, and vice-versa. If he is not an active participant in your child's disciplinary process, then it's hurting your kid.

You seem to be doing good. You just have to outlast him on this. It's good that you're dealing with this issue now, because the only difference between a 22 month old throwing a tantrum and a 12 year old throwing a tantrum is about 11 years.

If you'd like, the guy I mentioned wrote a book called "Helping Guys Become Men, Husbands, and Fathers" that addresses a lot of issues of parenting. You can find it at http://www.guythingpress.org

Hope this helps!

Answer 2

He's probably still feeling a little bit sick and wants your attention. I know when my son is sick, he's really moody and clingy and cries a lot. He's about 26 months old.

I think it may just be best to give him something he likes to eat or do something he likes to do. When my son throws a tantrum, I try and take him out for a walk cuz he likes to go out and such.

Or if anything, you can bribe him with a new toy. :)

I don't know. Being a parent is pretty hard but well worth it. We just have to have a lot of patience I suppose. Good luck with your son btw. :)

Answer 3

You mentioned that he was sick, he could very well be still under the weather and thus not really able to control his emotions very well. It's really hard for 2 year olds to control their emotions at the best of times (hense, "terrible" twos), but when they're sick its even more difficult.

Another thought - does your child have a hard time communicating? From your question it doesn't sound like he does, but if he does, this could be from frustration. Many children who have frustrations with communications will tantrum more.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I have a 26 month old boy and he too has his fits! I purchased a fold up portable booster chair (Wal-mart $12.00) Strictly for time outs, that way you can fasten him in it and it is close to the ground so it won't tip over. When he starts to throw a fit, tell him he is having a time out and tell him why, fasten him in, point it towards a wall and then set a timer for two minutes (a minute per year of age) keep it close so the little one can hear when his time is up, and then get him out, but be sure and explain again why he was in a time out. Be sure and only use the chair for time outs though.

Answer 5

He is probably going through those terrible two's.

However do not put him in his crib for timeout. His crib should be reserved for that time he is ready to take a nap or sleep for the night.

At the very least purchase a small chair or stool for him to sit on. "The Time Out Stool." Make his sit for one minute for each year he is old.

If he goes back to doing what he was doing make him sit back in time out again.

Raising a child isn't easy on a parents patients or heart.

Hang in there.

Answer 6

The best time out place seems to be in a chair right in front of his toys. You will have to stay there and watch and make sure that he doesn't sneak any of his toys, but him just knowing and seeing that he cannot have what he desires will make him change his mind.

With your consistency be sure to spank/discipline when the trouble occurs... don't wait until you get to the bathroom, outside, or wherever you feel comfortable. Do it right when he misbehaves so he knows what he is doing wrong.

Best of Luck!!!

Answer 7

the best thing to do is ignore him. Even if he is screaming bloody murder don't go and get him, because he see that he gets his way and mommy will give in. Once he has completely stopped crying then go ahead and get him. Get down on his level and explain why he was punished if he starts again just walk away and ignore him again. If you have a playpen or something try using that because then he will see his room as a bad place and wont want to go in there. I know it sucks mine is 4 and I don't miss those days. That is what worked for me good luck

Answer 8

Try having a chart w/ fun polka dots. Every time he throws a tantrum, take a dot off the chart. You should have dots on there for a week. If he's good the whole week, you could get him some candy, or something he likes.

Answer 9

Change your routine, go out and have some fun, leave him with a babysitter for awhile. Spanking does not work.

Answer 10

Its an age thing. you will have some very good days and very bad days. they start to end at about 3 1/2. when your son starts understanding things and is able to communicate better. or Mabey It is from him being sick. my guess would be terible 2s though.