mad at my sister what would you do in this situation?

Question

i phoned her 2 weeks ago to tell her our mom's not well. since then my mom has had to go for chest xrays and tests! i phoned my sister again tonight and said i would have thought that you would of phoned my mom or visited her as i told you 2 weeks ago she wasnt well! she had a go at me on the phone and said tell you what i will go and see her now then she put the phone down on me! she only lives 20 minuites away from my moms. should i phone her back or just leave it! i should't have to ask her to visit our mom! we both work full time but i make the effort and cook for my mom and dad 2 times aweek on my days off. she does fcuk all to help! but the sun shines out of her a@ss where my dads concerned! and if i have a go at her i now my dad will take her side!

Answer 1

I see a disaster coming here. The daughter who helps and the sister who does nothing yet who is revered by dad. Dont expect gratitude for what you do cuz it wont happen.
You cant force your sister to do anything, it is her choice. Nagging her wont make her love or care more for them. Do what you think is right and dont expect anything for it.

Answer 2

I am sorry you are in this awful situation. I know how true it is when one child seems to be favoured over the other. Especially when the favoured one is a trial and sometimes a torment. My brother is a handful, but my Mum always runs after him. I play the good daughter, but she takes me for granted.

My other half is in a similar situation. I don't know what it is with siblings, parents, and families. So much hurt, so much unhappiness....

If I were in your place I would just leave it. She sounds as if she is taking her guilt out on you. You are the good daughter, and most probably she feels that YOU get all the love etc etc.

All you can do is do your best for your Mum. Let everyone else take care of themselves and what they feel they need to do or not do.

Look after yourself, hon, and don't let anyone get you down. You are doing the right thing, and that is all that matters.

Answer 3

Hi just let her get on with being that way. as least your doing the right thing, you dont have to speak to her in future if you dont want to and if she asks why just tell her, because she didnt even visit your mum and she couldnt seem to careless when you rang her and saw her backside instead., I would be really angry so I wouldnt speak to her. If she cant do no wrong and if your dad will see take her side when she hasnt visited his wife yours and your sisters mum, then maybe your better of letting them get on with it. Im suprise your dad isnt angry at her either.

I would be tempted to ring her back and find out why she is acting this way, and then if she hasnt got a good enough reason leave it and then dont speak to her as what she is doing is wrong, even if she is finding it difficult to go and seen her.

Answer 4

Oooooo.... i have one of them. A selfish uncaring sister who plays around with peoples feelings and thinks she's too nice to help with the care of our parents. Yup!!! Ok.... there are some people who cant handle when a person is ill... But its no excuse. If she sees that you are taking care of they're needs the least she could do is share the responsibility with you. Even if she didnt visit mum in hospital cos she's a little queasy with things like that, come and cook dad a meal, take him out, relieve the stress you're experiencing, share the responsibility of looking after them. But she wont, and there isnt much you can do about it, my dear. I have a disabled mum and i have been taking care of her for 19yrs, single handedly and i have a sister who lives within 5mins drive of her, and doesnt lift a finger. We no longer speak going on 4yrs. Do i miss her no. My mum does, but lifes easier without the empty promises. Sorry I have no suggestions, but i feel you're pain, honest i do!!!

Answer 5

Sounds like your sister's reaction is due to guilty conscience. Let her calm down and leave it to her to contact you. You are doing your best, much as it's hard the way your dad reacts he probably loves you both the same but parents can be funny the way they show it. Think of the Prodigal Son in the bible and that says it all!!!

Answer 6

Sweetheart this is not that uncommon a situation.

You can do one of two things. Get your guts in a knot harp at your sister, create tension among the family....

Or just do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. And let the rest go. Some day when it is too late your sister "might" realize she screwed up.

As I told my mom when she cared for her mother.....

"You are creating gems of glory in your heavenly crown."

Answer 7

I know it's hurtful that your sister is not more active as a daughter, especially when you parents seem to favor her. The facts are she is going to do whatever she feels like regardless of how you feel about it. Tell her once and leave her responsibility up to her. You can focus on what YOU can do. Hopefully she'll come around and help out, but if she doesn't, your parents will appreciate at least having your devotion.

Answer 8

Let her calm down first. You keep doing what you do. Maybe she's a little tired/stresses or scared of visiting people in the hospital. Let her cool off. You don't want this situation to become bigger then it is.

Answer 9

That's life mate, some people never realize how much they owe their parents, and they never repay it. Others, like you, show their gratitude as best they can. I know it's great to think that a bit of justice would be nice, but that never happens. I have a brother just like your sister, he's cheated his way into a very well paid job, and will do nothing to help his mother, who brought him up in a single parent family, and never brings our mother's grandchildren to see her. It's so unfair. I won't even give him the time of day.

Answer 10

No, don't phone her again, you have done your job and informed her about your mum. You have to let her make her own decision about when she goes to see her parents.
I know it's hard when a parent favours one child above another but have you thought that your dad defends her to cover his hurt about her behaviour.
Use your energy to support your parents and let your sister deal with this in her own way, it's not worth falling out with your sister you won't change her.
My brother was exactly the same with our mum and I fell out with him numerous times, then he died and I wished I could unsay all the horrible things I told him.