My boyfriend has said several things that show me that he has a very jaded and close-minded view of how women should act, and I'm afraid that will spill over into how he wants to raise a daughter. For example, we went by the cute store in the mall, Libby Lu, where kids get to dress up and then perform a dance in the mall. He said he never wants his little girl to go there b/c it promotes being a sl*t by wearing make-up and putting on clothes that look like Brittany Spears. I dissagree. I loved playing dress up when I was little and I didn't turn out to be a sl*t. I understand his thought process behind that, but I don't think its right. How should I talk to him and is it possible to change his views on this? I haven't brought this topic up with him yet b/c its still a pretty new relationship, but if we do stay together, this could cause a lot of problems for us in the future. Any suggestions?
2007-04-30 09:46:14 · 8 answers · asked by playfulscorpio13 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I've seen that store at the mall, and I am a liberal, woman and I am also a loving mom and I personally agree with your boyfriend that the particular clothes and makeup in that store do seem wayyyyy to sexy for little girls to be dressing up in.
However, I think a little girl dressing up in her mom's Sunday dresses and heels and makeup at HOME are a good, fun thing- but when we were kids playing dress up, we weren't allowed to dress up and then prance around the mall that way- it was at home- in a safe, loving, protected home environment.
Plus, the mall has st angers and you don't need to dress your kid like Brittany Spears when there are crazies around- which is probably more of your boyfriends concerns. I bet if you talked to him and asked him what part of dressing up bothered him you would see that he is really just being a good "future" daddy by being responsible with his "future daughters" image.
Talk to him! You can't marry someone you can't talk to!!
Best of luck!!
2007-04-30 09:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by quirky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said...it's a new relationship...so it's sort of too early to really get to worrying too hard! If your relationships reaches the point where you think your ready for a child...then you two need to sit down and compromise with one another and talk. Bringing a baby into this world is no small matter. You're creating a life...not buying a doll. So you two need to talk and try to meet on some common ground. Even after talking....if you two decide to have a baby, there will still be many issues you have to face. Having a child is hard work and there will be a lot of battles you have to face---but the best thing to do is love your child with all your heart and do the best job you can do.
2007-04-30 09:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is clear.... two of you are not ready for marriage or having kids.
For one, both you and your boyfriend see each others opinion as right or wrong. Then you mention, how can you change his opinion. You really can't change anyone's opinion. Before you ask at forums like this, you should sit down with him and talk about the issue. How you should talk to him depends on him, you, and the relationship. There is no way a complete stranger can give you a meaningful answer. I see that you haven't developed that kind of relationship yet.
I personally believe some of the things young girls likes to do and wants to do are somewhat on risque side; although it is now somewhat accepted. My *PERSONAL* belief is that there is a good middle ground somewhere between yours and his.
This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but nevertheless, is my opinion. Your mileage may vary. Tax, tag, and title extra, void where prohibited by law....
2007-04-30 09:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since the relationships is fairly new. You may want to give him time and feel him out, before making a important decision like having children with him. It sounds like he's closed minded on alot of things. Another way to determine your decision , Is how he treats you and think if that's something you want to bring a child into.
2007-04-30 10:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by keesey w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you dont desire to leave him and he doesnt want youngsters then you definitely would desire to alter your techniques approximately having youngsters. whilst a pair has distinctive perspectives on having babies it in no way works out. And in case you stayed with him and continually cited the concern of babies you will the two finally end up drivingh im away or pressuring him into some thing he does not want. every physique that tells you to attend and notice if his perspectives will replace are rather telling you to spend your total life thinking while you're starting to be the babies you have continually needed with this guy. hit upon a guy who shares your comparable perspectives with reference to having youngsters or provide up all hopes of having any and those are rather your individual 2 alternatives. Atleast you found out now ahead of being married that he does not want anmore
2016-10-04 03:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by philibert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is just a typical male..i wouldnt even worry about it- because it will gradually change as he sees dress up's on barbies and baby dolls..etc..obviously he is the only child or atleast doenst have any sisters. if you dont already have a daughter, i wouldnt worry about the conversation until the time comes!
2007-04-30 09:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Shawnaj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
typical, typical male. if he wants you to act a *certain way ladies are supposed to act*, then he has no idea what i would be like to him. i am a little crazy, but enjoyable. i would love to put my 4 year old in those shows, but i wouldnt let my husband call her a slut!!!! i would be mad at him for a long time
2007-04-30 11:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by JJ's Advice Column 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least it shows that he's gonna protect his daughter and care for them. He probably just doesn't want his daughters to grow up so fast.
2007-04-30 09:55:32 · answer #8 · answered by Neelam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋