me and my ex are currently not speaking and im carrying his child, should i give the child his last name?

Question

see me and his mom still speak, and i cant even bring my self to speak to him he disgusts me that much and the fact i still care about him and he wants nothing to do with me, but last time i knew he does want to have something to with the kid. please help i am so frustrated, and i dont know if i can do this by myself!!

see me and his mom still speak, and i cant even bring my self to speak to him he disgusts me that much and the fact i still care about him and he wants nothing to do with me, but last time i knew he does want to have something to with the kid. please help i am so frustrated, and i dont know if i can do this by myself!!

he said earlier when he first found out i was pregnant, that he wanted the child to have his name or he wouldnt sign the birth certificate, but weve had our differences and like i said and we are no longer talking, i dont even know if he is going to be there when i do go into labor or not!

Answer 1

First of all I just want to give you big hugs ))0((. I know this has to be extremely stressful for you. Being pregnant is hard enough and then to be dealing with such a dysfunctional relationship is just too much.

Its great you are still talking with his mom, keep that line of communication open, she could be a great resource for you and your child.

About the name, yes, I would advise you to give the child his fathers last name. I would also give the child your maiden name as his middle name, this way the child will legally be able to choose which name he/she would like to use when they get older. You can give your baby as many names as you want, mine has a first, 2 middle names as well as his last.

Even though you and the father are having problems right now, the baby is still 50% of him and his side of the family. Keep your babys needs in mind and remember this is a decision that will affect him/her for a long time to come.

Plus it will be much easier getting child support if the baby has his name. Legally it will be easier in the future in many areas. You may also want to write up a parenting/custody plan before the baby arrives and legalize it. Better to do it now before things get worse. The worse it gets the more expensive it is. Talk to a good lawyer.

Good Luck to you,
Be Strong,
Cry if you need to,
Take care of yourself and baby.

Sending you Blessings,
Abundant

Answer 2

Legally you can name a baby anything you want, as long as it isn't an attempt to defraud (like claiming that because the child's last name is "Washington" or "Pitt" its father is someone famous and you deserve some kind of $$ from him).

If the child is his, then give the child his last name. It will help if you need to go to court to collect child support. Too many women have made that mistake (not giving the father's last name) and it has been used as a defense against child support. He can always contest and ask for DNA testing, but he'll look like a total heel when it comes back positive.

Answer 3

Unless you want to go through any hassles with custody don't even put the father's name on the birth certificate. Much less give your child anyone else last name. It is easier for a child if they have the same last name as the parent they live with.

Answer 4

He's the child's father. In America the baby usually takes the father's last name.

I hope you can reconcile to some degree (even if it's just speaking civilly to each other) for the baby's sake. Every child needs a father...even if mom can't stand him anymore. Obviously at some point you guys liked each other, try to remember those times for the well-being of the child. You are now stuck with him for atleast 18 years.

Answer 5

You can still put your ex on the birth certificate as the father, without giving your baby his last name. Give him your own name instead. Someday you may meet a really wonderful, caring man who will be a REAL father to your child, and he can take that person's name then.

Answer 6

In all honesty, it is a personal choice. If he has not come forward and asked you to give the baby his last name, then why bother. It is far more difficult to explain why you and the little one don't have the same last name in the future than explaining why he/she and their absent father figure don't. If you really feel bad about it, hyphenate the last name i.e Smith-Johnson.
He needs to be present to sign the birth certificate if you put his name on it, but it is not necesary to use his name. You can name your baby anything you want. I have a friend who used her mothers last name instead of the father's or her own.
Do what makes you happy, don't worry about him.

Answer 7

First off I want to tell you I’m sorry that you and your ex aren’t getting along no one should have to go through that.

My advice to you is that if you love the man, and believe that it could work again. Than you might consider it.

However remember this is your child you’re going through the pain and the suffering on carrying, and taking care of it in the future. So you make the decision on what is right for your baby. Do you want your baby to know this man, and carry his name.

Good luck in the future, and I hope everything goes we’ll for you and your pregnancy.

Answer 8

fyi

if you don't give him your last name...you can't take him over the border or travel. You will always need a note from the father. also remember that legally if you register your name as his last but the father's full name on the birth certificate...you can collect support. I am not sure what the laws are where you are but you need to check into laws regarding support and travel. these are things that i wish they told you at the hospital!

Answer 9

Well if you don't name him as father on the birth certificate you can't file and collect child support from him. Whether YOU want anything to do with him or not the CHILD deserves to be supported financially.

Answer 10

You do it if you want to, letting him sign the birth certificate (if he's there) does not mean that he has rights to your new child. If you are not married that is, so having his last name would have to be up to you, it costs to have it changed (i know)