I work with a guy who is about to get married for the sixth time to a mail order bride. Seriously, I am not kidding on this. He has registered at several stores and keeps making suggestions on what we, his coworkers, should get him. OK, call me crazy, but I wasn't planning on getting him anything - shouldn't he have it all by wedding number 6? Additionally he didn't send out invitations to his wedding, he has just verbally invited us (which I am not going to). Would you get him a present?
Thanks!
2007-04-30 08:32:38 · 28 answers · asked by wildlifer 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Be nice. Go out and buy him a dish set of disposable plates and plastic utensils. Then he can throw away six and go for seven.
2007-04-30 08:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by Nobody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to buy a gift unless you are invited to the wedding, and attend.
If the guy is just a co-worker and not a friend, then I wouldn't worry about it. I'd also tell him, when you find out the date, that you are unable to attend due to a prior engagement.
Have everyone in the office chip in $5 each and get him one gift "from the gang at the office." That's plenty. Too much, actually.
Frankly, the issue has nothing to do with the number off weddings the guy had. You don't have to give a gift to anyone who hasn't invited you to their wedding and a verbal invitation is not enough. And if you decline and don't go to the wedding then you don't have to give a gift either (although you might if it's a close friend).
2007-04-30 15:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely no reason to donate a gift if - as you say - you niether like him nor do you intend to attend the celebrations.
However - please do not forget that he is not alone in this marriage.
Perhaps his new bride would be more than grateful if she thought that there was at least one person in her new country that wished her well.
What about sending a tasteful card and making a note in the card of your details with the suggestion that you might be on hand should she need a shopping friend?
It is an awkward position you find yourself in and I don't believe that there is a right and wrong etiquette wise - but as a human being - a friendly gesture may go a long way.
Good luck (mainly to the new bride!)
2007-04-30 15:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by isobellistowel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously it's tacky to ask people to give you presents in such an obvious way. Actually, people are really supposed to give presents to the bride, not the groom. Many people who have had multiple weddings have already got so much stuff that they don't want to get even more presents. You are always free to decline the invitation, and in that case you are not obligated to give a gift.
2007-04-30 19:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! I can smell a divorce a mile away. Think about it: in America 50% (probably more) of marriages end in divorce. Of those 2/3 remarriages end in divorce. And the odds get greater on the 3rd, 4th, etc... marriages.
Funny thing is that guy needs to realize that he's the common dominator in all those failed marriages. Coincidence? I think not.
2007-04-30 15:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would I give a guy who is working on his 6th marriage?
A gift certificate redeemable for a psychiatric examination, plus 6 sessions with a marriage and family counselor.
This is obviously someone in serious need of relationship help.
Seriously, get him a book about relationships. He needs it!
2007-04-30 16:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an idiot. No, I probably wouldn't get him anything. 'Verbally' wish him luck, if he can't give invitations, that's being pretty rude. I also don't think anyone at the office should get him anything. If it came down to it, all of you sign a card.
2007-04-30 15:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by nosycap9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your situation, no, I would not. Since he's too lazy to send out proper invites, and you're not going anyway, he doesn't deserve a gift from you.
If his angling for gifts becomes really obtrusive around the office, you might gently remind him that it's rude to badger people for gifts.
2007-04-30 15:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't he watchViva La Bam? Mail order brides just leave you as soon as you marry them. They just do it to get into the country. I wouldnt get him anything especially since you aren't even going to his wedding!
2007-04-30 15:37:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose a verbal congratulations would be quite a present for someone who doesn't put tremendous value on the institution of marriage.
2007-04-30 15:37:13 · answer #10 · answered by sam hill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋