Is she rude or are we rude?

Question

Grandma told us to pick out what we wanted and we did.She asked us what colors we liked and we told her.We specifically told her we did not like pink.Grandma got NOTHING we picked.Everything was how she picked it,nothing like said.ALL the clothes she got were pink!!!!She even said she'd like for our baby to be wearing a certain outfit when she got home(of course it's one of the pink outfits).We said thank you and that we appreciated the gifts,but since we weren't ecstatic about any of it,she says she's hurt.We've said thank you several times....
Was she rude to do this?Is she wrong to be pressing a guilt trip?

Answer 1

Rude no. She asked you what you wanted, you told her, so she should have honoerd your wishes. If she wanted something pink after you said no pink maybe she sould have only got one pink outfit. as fas as saying what the baby should wear the day she comes home. its not up to her at all.

Answer 2

If someone gets you a gift, especially if it is from the heart, it is never rude. Perhaps she just found some things that she thought were really cute and she just couldn't resist. You don't mention how old she is or what her state of health is.....is it possible she just forgot or doesn't hear very well and is embarassed to say so? A grandmother has worked hard to get to the point of having grandchildren, just say thank you, dress the baby in the outfit she wants to see, and let her know that you aren't as ecstatic as you would be because you are tired from having a new(?) baby in the house.

Answer 3

Well, if she was not going to obey your wishes about what to get, she should not have asked in the first place.
However, I think you should really be appreciative of what your baby has received. Not every baby is so loved, so be glad yours is.
If you don't want your baby to wear pink, then by all means dress your baby in a different color, however, unless your baby is a boy, then would it be so awful to let her wear pink to please grandma just this once? After all, your baby is going to grow so fast, she may not be able to wear it again anyway.
I think there has been some rudeness on both sides.
Setting aside your wishes not being fulfilled, saying 'thank you' without enthusiam is like a slap in the face to someone. How would you feel?

Answer 4

I have had this problem before. I agree that older people want their own way and can be controlling - she had probably already decided in her head what was going to happen and you thwarted her!! However, Grandmas aren't around forever - but just be aware for next time of the rules of the game! However, I don't think that if you specified your wishes you should have to dress the baby for her taste - it might be a good chance to make your point tactfully (Grandma, we did say how we felt about pink) if she complains. She might be huffy for a while - depends if you can sit it out!!

Answer 5

Well, ettiquette says to be grateful for each and every present, and common sense says to be grateful someone cares enough to buy us things.
But Grandma's behavior does beg a question, why did she ask? Did she missunderstand?
Since it is Grandma, I would write a note, or call her, and tell her, Grandma, I so like the fact you gave us gifts, we love you, we felt like we hurt your fellings, and we did not mean to. We wore all of the clothes, and got compliments.
Grandma is probably wrong in in making a guilt trip out of it, but in my experience, Grandma's do that. I guess when you get to be a Grandma, you get to use the guilt card.
Just chalk it up to Grandma trying to teach you all a life lesson, and go on. I would.

Answer 6

It was rude of Grandma - but hey, she's Grandma, she can do whatever she wants. As others said, just be glad she cares enough to buy anything and move on. Its like the ugly picture or "knick-knack" you get as a gift; just put it out when the gift giver comes over to be polite.
when Grandma is gone, won't you wish she was around to buy more ugly pink outfits?

Answer 7

I would say communication is key here. Just tell her that you don't like pink, and that you told her that. Its your baby, right? Of course, its important to thank her for the thought, and definitely make sure she understands exactly why you are made uncomfortable by her choice of gifts. If she is getting older and senile and doesn't remember simple things, this could be the root of your problem, and would require more sensitivity. If not, though, she just needs to know who is in charge, I think. I don't think either of you are being "rude", exactly, but she seems to be being insensitive and a little thoughtless. Just make sure you don't respond in kind.

Answer 8

Since she specifically told you to pick out what you wanted and then got the one thing you made it clear you don't like, she is definitely the rude one. And apparently controlling as well - who does she think she is to tell you what your baby should be wearing at any time, LOL. I would nip this in the bud right now if I were you - unless she is just getting senile, in which case there's not much you can do.

Answer 9

you're asking the rude human beings in the experience that they options being rude? Or did I misread something? i does no longer imagine the fellow perpetrating that habit might want to take any offense in someone treating them an same way. easily they are going to imagine they are invincible or above such attacks. I answer all questions interior an same way. i might want to be blunt and irrelevant at cases, yet my straightforward reason is continuously one in each of helpfulness and that i trust human beings can tell the version. Love, Snag

Answer 10

I don't think you were rude at all. She asked you, and you told her specifically what you like and didn't like. What part of what you told her did she not understand? It seems to me that she purposely went out and bought the complete opposite of what you said. However, to show your appreciation for the gifts, let the baby wear at least one of the outfits. I'm sure she'll look adorable in it. (smile)