I am the maid of honor in my friends wedding and have already spent hundreds of dollars on stuff for the wedding, do I have to buy her a wedding gift? Am I a bad friend if I dont?
2007-04-30 07:50:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Though gifts are not really a requirement, it is appropriate that you bring one anyway. I suggest an inexpensive meaningful gift such as a simple frame to put their wedding pictures in or a couple's massage kit.
2007-04-30 09:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
According to etiquette guidelines, you have three to four months to buy a gift. Technically having recieved an invitation obligates you to purchase or make a wedding gift; the gift should be an accurate reflection of your feelings towards the couple. A close friend is expected to give a larger or more personal gift than a casual acquaintance. If you have any more questions about the gift, the Emily Post Institute has a website with answers (See the link below.).
2007-04-30 08:13:29 · answer #2 · answered by at work 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I understand that you've already spent a lot of money helping out with the wedding. but it's kind of expected to give a wedding present. You don't have to buy the most expensive thing, but just buy a little something. For my brother's wedding i just got a really pretty picture frame that says "the happy couple".
2007-04-30 08:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by emma-me 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Does the bride know your financial difficulties? My MOH is my best friend in all the world. However she has horrible taste in men. Her last "boyfriend" (nearly 40 years old, with a 14 yo daughter who spend close to 15 yrs in prison) just robbed her blind. I merely hoped my best friend and MOH would be able to save enough money to catch a bus to my wedding. She wasn't able to so I had a friend pick her up half way. She also couldn't afford her dress (which I got on sale, but that was b/c she is bad with money--not b/c of the "boyfriend").
And no she didn't buy me a present.
But the point is--she is my best friend in all the world.
She has no taste in men. No ability to save money. Absolutely horrible with finances. Not to mention if she had bought me a gift--our tastes are about as far apart as they can actually be. I know if she bought me something I love, she would have bought it while hating it herself. But I know all this about her. And love her anyway.
I didn't have her in my wedding to get a gift. And it doesn't matter to me in the least that she never gave me one. B/c I just wanted her to be there. I think she ended up spending less than $50 on everything for my wedding. bus fare, shoes, bachelorette party.
You have already spent hundreds on stuff for the wedding. If the bride knows you are in fiancial straits she isn't expecting it. However along those same lines--I had a groomsmen who didn't get us a gift either. Now this person had gotten married 2 yrs before us and we spent far far too much on his wedding gift. He has a good job, makes plenty of money, and kept lying saying he left the gift at his house but would give it the next time he saw us. And yeah I'm furious that he wouldn't even bother to pick us up a toaster or anything. But its more that he lied to us about it for months.
If you really don't have the extra funds, and you mention it ahead of time to the bride--she really just wants you to be there on her special day. She's not inviting you for the gift. I doubt she'll even notice.
But if you want, pick her up something small. I had a friend buy us a couple of the 2-3 dollar items on the registry. Another person got us a 12 pack of Coke and a 12 pack of Pepsi (my husband and I used to joke that after we got married that would be our biggest fight--no fridge space since neither of us would compromise and drink the "other beverage"). That was a great gift that only a close friend would have known. Far more memorable than who gave the china. Another friend gave us some votive candles since they knew we'd gotten several candalabras. Those gifts were all less than 8-10 dollars, but very personal. You don't have to spend much money.
Friendship isn't measured in gifts received, but in time and effort.
2007-04-30 08:19:37 · answer #4 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you don't HAVE TO. I have been in plenty of weddings and if I hit over $300 with dress, hotel, make-up and hair then I normally won't get a gift or if I do I just buy something small. All of the brides say"don't get me anything". You eing in the wedding should be their gift. If they get mad then tell them to pay for your dress and then you'll buy them a gift ;)
2007-04-30 08:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by cr@c@l@c@j@clynn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you do have to buy her a gift, and something meaningful since you are in a position of honour for their wedding. You do not, however, have to spend a lot of money! That's not the point of a gift, it's from the heart - really!
2007-04-30 10:12:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately it is expected of you. Weddings and all the gift giving around them can be very expensive.
2007-04-30 07:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by star_lite57 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'm afraid so. 2 weeks ago, I was MOH, and I well recall the costs-the shower, the bachelorette, the engagement gift, the shower gift, the dress and shoes, and the lodging--yikes! Yes, it is expensive, but still, a gift is appropriate.
2007-04-30 07:58:13 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you have to buy her a wedding gift. I didnt buy my brother-n-law a wedding gift. We also spent a lot on the wedding, plus it was at my house so I think we were right in not buying them one. They didnt get us anything for our wedding and they didnt do anything for it either.
2007-04-30 07:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I would say get a card and put a $25 or so gift certificate to a local (their favorite) restaurant in it.
2007-04-30 07:58:05 · answer #10 · answered by Mickey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋