ok well friday night me and the b/f got into a huge fight, it was my fault i did somthing stupied. anywaz i was standing in between my car and my car door yelling at him telling to let me leave, well i then said somthing that really set him off and he slammed my door into my body since i was standing in between. well now i have a burse and i told him i was so mad that he did that but he says he didnt know i was stading so close he thought the door would have slipped out of my fingers, how mad should i be? should i let it go? he has never hit me and he is not voilent he couldnt hurt a fly so was it just a accident?
2007-04-30 07:10:07 · 40 answers · asked by lovely 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
jim honestly whats the point in answering my question if you think i need to spare you the nonsense! seriously i think you need to grow up i asked for advice i didnt ask to be put down.
2007-04-30 07:15:55 · update #1
he said sorry like 50 times and he says he feels really bad. but geeze it hurt! i was standing not sitting in the car, the door burised my arm not ribs
2007-04-30 07:38:59 · update #2
I would forgive him just continue to mention that it hurts and ache just to get some attention. It happens, and it happened in the heat of the moment.
Tell him to kiss it and make it feel better. When ever I did something stupid my bf would tell me I made him feel bad and now I have to make him feel good. So that's what I would do. (he only wants sex and some oral so no biggie, that's how I know when he's really not that mad.)
2007-04-30 07:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by misscancer10 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Call me stupid, but how could you be between the car door and the car at the same time he is so close to the door that he could actually slam the door bruising you...and he can still say he didn't know you were standing that close. Come on girl. That seems to be 1 + 1 = 3. It just doesn't sound right. How much do the two of you fight. Be honest. Maybe it is time to move on. Often when somebody says he wouldn't hurt a fly it has a different meaning. Is he the dominant one. Was this one time that you were actually standing up for yourself. When this type of thing happens it often means he hasn't hit you or abused you physically yet!!!! At the same time maybe there is mental abuse. Don't let anything happen like that again even if it means going your own way and finding someone new.
2007-04-30 07:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Paulette S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were standing outside of the car asking him to let you leave? Does not compute.
If he were in the car and you were out of the car, you could have left any time. I think you're confused. In fact, I would wager that HE was telling YOU to let him leave, you wouldn't, he probably warned you a few times, then shut the door on you hoping you'd get the hint and get out of the way, which you did not. Now you feel guilty about it because you yelled at him as if it were his fault when it was in fact yours.
If he's never hit you before and this time was a legitimate misunderstanding, then what's there to answer? You've answered your own question, either forgive and forget or leave him.
If it happens a second time, you lose the option to forgive and forget. At that point, you leave.
2007-04-30 07:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, whoa... lots of red flags here....
First of all, you say he couldn't hurt a fly, but he slammed a car door into you? He says it was just an accident, but I'm pretty sure he can tell how close you are to a door. He's not stupid.
More red flags: You blame yourself completely for an argument and say you did something stupid - that usually means (in your situation) that he's got you thinking that he's always right and you're always wrong. I see that a lot in abusive relationships - they brainwash you basically. Another red flag: You had to yell at him to "let you leave"?! That means he wouldn't let you leave, which means that whether you see it or not, he's really controlling. Another red flag: He said that he thought the door would have slipped out of your fingers - which is again blaming you for something you didn't do... he's saying it's your fault that you got hit by the door.... Another red flag: You say he's never hit you. Which usually means that he does everything else abusive, except lay a hand on you. That's not good.
Please leave this guy. I know you don't think he's abusive, but he sounds like he definitely has the potential to get even worse. Believe me, I've went out with a guy like this, and he's not going to stop doing what he's doing, it'll only get worse. Save yourself the trouble and get out of it now.
2007-04-30 07:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by F.J. 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Yes, I would let it go... One it was a fight and you are the only one who knows how it happened sometimes you get so mad you want to hurt them, either physical or mental and you guys did both, I honestly believe it was an accident because most men would say you deserved it and he said I didn't mean to and if he hasn't hit you in the past and he didn't really hit you with his hand and I'm pretty sure he wasn't plotting that if he pushed the door it was going to hurt you anyways I would say forgive him if you haven't already..Hope I could help.
2007-04-30 07:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by Rose K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He slammed your door into your body and then said he didn't think you were that close? He then said he thought the door would have slipped out of your fingers? Jeeze! Did he ever say he was sorry? I'd be damn mad, if that was me! The least he could have done was say he was sorry! You say he has never hit you? What do you call hitting you with a car door? He's not violent? Jeeze! He has just got a hot temper!
2007-04-30 07:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by Gerry 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Younger guys tend to act out without much thought of what they are doing or what the consequences will be. There is a chance he didn't realize you would get hurt by his action. Only he knows that for sure. Do you really trust that it wasn't intended to harm you? If so, let it go. Keep an eye on him for anger problems though.
2007-04-30 07:15:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How mad should you be? like on a scale of 1 to 10? What does that mean? You are as mad as you are. But, it doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt you. it sounds like you were both drinking? or something, and just got a little carried away and emotional. However, if you are questioning yourself and his actions, maybe you should take a break from this relationship and really think about it.
2007-04-30 07:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by FIGJAM 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi....sounds like to me that it was an accident. If he has never shown aggression or violence before then I would accept the fact that it was an accident. Sometimes we all have made a stupid mistake once or twice in our life time. You made a mistake which made him upset and you admitted that you were at fault. He made the mistake on slamming the door on you and he said that he was sorry so...let by gones be by gones and start anew. Have a great day!
2007-04-30 07:17:54 · answer #9 · answered by shuggabhugga05 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it as a mistake an accident but, next time it happens then let him know that it cant happen again. Once a man knows he can push you around or held you he will do it ALL the time. We woman make the huge mistake of not putting our foot down since the beginning. Most of the time when things happen in the relationship is because WE allow it. take it as a accident and next time it happens break up with him teach him a lesson so it doesnt happen again. Good luck!
2007-04-30 07:15:17 · answer #10 · answered by ME 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋