My mother is dying from cancer and in another state. I am afraid to go see her. I dont want to hurt her feelings, but I dont think I can handle seeing her. My family is on my case and Im afraid I will lose it. I want to remember her how she was not how she is now. am I a bad person? I am very depressed and stressed out over this.
2007-04-30 07:00:35 · 11 answers · asked by every1sfool 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
No you are not bad... just you have not learned to Accept the things as they are... I remember a simple prayer.. if you repeatedly say as many times as you need..... slowly.. trying to understand.. what it means.. you will sure get enough strength.. more and more every moment..
We cannot reun away from reality... it is like running away from ourselves... there is some HIGHER POWER.. called God or whatsoever.. it helps you to cllect your God Given powers.. from your innermost .. and helps us to face the things.. and when we donot think we can can manage alone to come over such things.. this Higher Power .. always comes to be with us.. wherever we are.. this is my personal experience... see.. if you try .. you sure will feel better....years ago ... when i was in worse situations than you seem to be... a good soul guided me so.. it is called SERENETY PRAYER....
' GOD 1 ... GRANT ME THE SERENITY .. TO ACCEPT THE THINGS .. I CANNOT CHANGE.., COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN .. AND WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE...", and everytime you try to understand... many new things.. will come to in your feelings.. mind.. and heart.. "
No... I am not a religious person.... there was a time i could not let anyone talk to me about any Higher Power.. or God... but experience which i had and others.. who have been in worse mess .. the way it works...
I remember someone having given me a book to read titled.. "THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING.. BY Norman ( i donot exactly remember the full name of this author ) ,, it helped much more and changed my attitude towards everything... and slowly i learned to face the things as they come... without letting anyone make me upset ..
Relax... Donot be afraid... all of us.. one or other time have faced .. or have to face similar situation... We are emotionally weak.. sometimes too weak.. and remember.. everyone .. each one us.. each one of our loved ones.. have to go .. sooner or later... we never know who gets the ticked when.. and we have to learn to face it.. who can escape... we cannot .. so let us learn to face it and live with it.. the best way we can.. Your mother may be wanting to be with you in such moments... and just because of your weakness.. do you want to tkae those moments from her which she may want to spend with you .. is that easy for you .. if it is.. then it is easier for you, if you try .. go and see her.. Be sure of yourself.. you will be able to handle situation.. you can .. have faith in yourself.. in your higher power.. and remember.. Me and God .. together .. we can do anything on this earth..
I am sure you can.. why do you doubt yourself.. Take courage.. and take care.. Dont let you self created Fears come over you..
2007-04-30 07:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you haven't had a close relationship to your mother to begin with. I can understand your fear. Right now, though, it's not about you but her. Imagine you being the one dying. Would you want your child near you, whether you had your disagreements or not? I would. At the end of life, we tend to forget about these problems and focus on the most important thing, to be with loved ones. It will be harmful for you if you don't say good bye to her. Once she is gone, you may not be able to let go of your grief. You are depressed and stressed out because your gut is telling you what is right but you are afraid to go that way. Don't be. I wish you well.
2007-04-30 14:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by VW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see her if you possibly can. It will bring comfort to her when she needs it most. I suspect it will help you in your grieving process also. My wife and I went to see a dear friend who was dying of cancer a couple of months ago, and it was very worth the trip. She could only say a few words, but she knew we were there, and I think she was grateful.
You didn't ask about it, but if your family has not done so, contact the local hospice organization in your mom's area. They helped our friend and her family so much, in big ways and in small. They know how to work with terminally ill people, and how to help the family and friends also. It's truly worthwhile doing so.
2007-04-30 14:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad person, but really you should go see her, you may regret not going if anything happens. If need be take a friend with you for support
2007-04-30 14:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by MysticCat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are afraid of what you will see when you get there, but she is your mom and always will be and you will have so much guilt forever if you don`t go and see her before she is gone
2007-04-30 14:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by Evelyn G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will regret it!
My mom died of cancer when I was very young, I wish I could see her one last time.
What's the difference your stressed out over it now & you will be then. PLEASE go see her.
2007-04-30 14:25:23 · answer #6 · answered by Krissy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not a bad person but you should go see her for her sake and put your feelings aside
2007-04-30 14:05:45 · answer #7 · answered by phil 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go and see her. Otherwise it will haunt you for the rest of your life.
2007-04-30 14:05:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you will regret it for the rest of your life if you dont, trust me
2007-04-30 14:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this won't be easy.... but you will regret it if you don't see your Mom..... and it would hurt her very much if you didn't come to see her....
2007-04-30 14:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by myheartisjames 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋