I just feel like I would be a horrible parent. I have no patience, not even for myself sometimes. I don't want to be tied down because of kids, I want to travel and just live/enjoy life for myself. Is that so wrong? My friends tell me I'm just selfish and superficial.
2007-04-30 06:44:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I don't see it as a loss... I'm 26.
2007-04-30 07:38:55 · update #1
You aren't a bad person, and it's not wrong! And best of all, you still have time to change your mind *if you want to*. Children are wonderful, but they are also a huge commitment. If you aren't looking for that, that's 100% okay.
It's your life! There are so many ways to bring good things into this world. Children is just one way. (Besides, your friends just sound jealous of your free time!! Hah)
2007-04-30 08:29:05 · answer #1 · answered by Matthew P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you know yourself well enough to know you would not make a good mom. But, keep in mind that you may change your mind down the road.
Personally, I have 4 kids, and cannot imagine not being a mom. I always knew that's what I wanted to be. It's not a choice for everyone though. You are young, and it's okay to be selfish when you're young! lol You're doing nothing wrong by not choosing to have kids right now.
The real tragedy here would be if you did have children. Too many unwanted children are born into this world. Just make sure to practice safe sex so that doesn't happen. Tell your friends to mind their own business! lol
2007-05-01 00:45:07 · answer #2 · answered by lacijosmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. You didn't say how old you are (not that it really matters) because you might change your mind. You sound exactly like me about 4 years ago. I was married but just wanted to party and travel and have a great time. And that's exactly what I did -- and a lot of it. But it eventually got to feel very empty (even being in a great marriage to the perfect guy). Another bar, another hangover, another country... The world started to look very small and shallow to me. I was 37 years old when I got pregnant and now I can't even imagine what a huge mistake it would have been FOR ME to not have my 2 awesome kids. It has taken my one dimensional world and made it three dimensional. So, sometimes it just takes time. The world has PLENTY of children, so don't feel that you HAVE to have kids. Do what you want to do. You only live once (according to most people!) so have fun and do what feels right.
2007-04-30 14:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by jjeffcott 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It just seems that in this stage of your life you are not ready to have children which is fine. Later in life you may change your mind. I had my first child at 18 and second at 22. They changed my life completely. Even though I love my kids more than anything in this world I wish that I would have waited and lived my life before having them. I am living life but its taking me a lot longer to accomplish things that I have set out to do. Don't worry about what your friends say. It is your body and your life. If they were real friends they would support your decision. And by they way you would probably be a great parent once you are ready! =0)~
2007-04-30 14:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by buttrfly84k 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your choice and I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with you. And, there is nothing wrong with being a little superficial and selfish when you are young!! Enjoy your life! Some day your view on having a family might change. Who knows?
2007-04-30 15:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is actually nothing at all wrong with that. Just dont put yourself in a situation where you would have children knowing all the things you want to accomplish. You're not the only person i have heard say this. Its just that you want more in life and its great that you know you cannot be selfish when it comes to children. they require a lot of time...good for you!
2007-04-30 14:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by ShesMyAngel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are sensible to know what kind of person you are and whether or not you are parent material. Every child should be wanted. If you don't believe that you would be a good parent, then you should not have children. It is not for other people to judge you. You have the right to live your life however you choose. Enjoy yourself!
2007-04-30 13:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd be selfish if you had kids just to fit in with some social norms.
You should be proud that you know yourself so well & that you are compassionate enough to not want to make a child go through life with the kind of parent that you think you would be.
Hurray for you! (seriously)
Kids deserve parents who whole-heartedly want to take on the responsibilities of parenting & who know they are ready/able to do so.
2007-04-30 14:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that! It would be REALLY selfish to actually have children, then neglect or mistreat them. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. You have the right to make your own choices in life, and many other people make the same choice as you.
2007-04-30 13:49:12 · answer #9 · answered by Marie C 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE EXTREMELY WISE NOT SELFISH,. I WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD THINK IT THRU LIKE YOU. I am a school teacher for years and see so so so many kids that were born unwanted but due just to sex. Oh my, you can change your mind, and if you are below 30, I would suggest you not do anything permanent, but a very very wise woman said to me about all things, "someone who knows their own limits is very wise", and don't do things to please others. You are not selfish and most teachers would agree with me.
2007-04-30 15:31:09 · answer #10 · answered by PrincessQuiteAlot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋