Do you feel like you've given way more to others than you've received? I've never been married or had children, but over the years I've spent thousands on family members, neighbors, friends, coworkers - on their wedding showers, weddings, baby showers, their kids' graduations, their kids weddings, showers, etc etc.
I've never been married or had kids, and am finding myself getting a bit bitter. Guess what, I'd enjoy getting money for a nice trip, or a new toaster or towels. Single people like that stuff too, are only married people worthy?
I won't do it, but now and then think about having a quickie wedding/divorce, just so I can reap tables laden with decorated gifts, and envelopes containing cash so I can go on a cruise somewhere.
I don't like feeling this way. I gave all those gifts because I wanted to. I wish others wanted to give to me.
Can any of you relate?
signed,
A bitter old spinster
2007-04-30 06:28:16 · 11 answers · asked by Joy_Brigade 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think this was an epidode of Sex And The City!! Your turn will come and you will get your due!!
2007-04-30 23:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well. What an interesting post. I understand exactly how you feel, specially after wedding season and after the consecutive baby shower waves and my friends 15 children birthday parties. That is part of having a social circle. I do have a budget for gifts because it seems like every month I have yet another party to attend. Yes, I could decline the invitation, but they are my friends and my co-workers and I do care for them.
I wouldn't dare to show up with a lame gift so I do spend quite a bit of money on gifts. I do not think I've never bought $100 towels for my self ever, and never received such gifts myself. I draw the line on bridal showers though, I do skimp on the bridal shower gift. I have 3 weddingscoming up, one in California, just hotel and flight is going to cost me $800, not to include hair, make up, dress and gift! So screw the bridal shower if I'm going to spend at least $1500 going.
I'll be curious how many of this people will show up to my wedding (??) or if they would reprocicate in kind after years of geneorous giving. I've given for the heart just expecting a handwritten thank you card....
....but want $100 towels too!!!!
Signed,
Another old spinster but not quite that bitter yet : )
2007-04-30 07:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how old you are to be calling yourself an old spinster...that aside, I know how you feel. I've been down your road, and I got engaged for the first (and only) time at 37. I never actually thought I would get married, but now that I am, yes, I do want all that stuff! I want the shower with heaps of gifts, and the wedding presents, and all that...I know its not polite to say so, but it is true. I don't think I'm owed this stuff from my friends and family, but I sure do want it.
2007-04-30 06:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow, no I cannot relate. I love giving gifts to people. Most of the time I spend a lot of time on the gifts, but I dont think I've ever been bitter about not getting gifts.
Why not throw yourself a huge blowout birthday party for your next birthday. Make it an extremely big deal with a hall and a live band and formal attire. The works!!!! Send out formal invitations and then people will get the hint that they should bring really nice gifts.
2007-04-30 06:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Hey look on the bright side. You may have spent lots but be grateful that you have so many people around you that care enough to invite you to their celebrations. It aint all about the presents you know........Keep up this bitter attitude and you will end up lonely and sour in your old age.
Just be grateful for having friends and family. And if you are sick of buying gifts, only attend and buy for people you are really close to. Not just the random ones that happen to invite you. Smile....you only get one go at life!
2007-05-03 22:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many single people can relate to this--always giving and never getting. But look at it this way, you had a social life you otherwise would not have had, had you not been invited to all these functions.
Perhaps someone can throw a huge birthday party in your honor, and all those people can be invited and bring you a gift, for a change.
2007-05-04 06:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be like Carrie on Sex and the city and "marry yourself". Yes, I do feel that ways sometimes... just recently a friend ask if I was inviting another mutual friend that I don't really talk to anymore to my wedding... and as horrible as it is... I thought HELL YEAH, all the money I have spent on her wedding, shower, birthday, baby's and other gifts... damn right she is getting an invite. My fiance makes fun of me and says I am having a wedding out of present revenge :)
Just joking of coarse but it's hard sometimes because you do spend all this money and people don't even bat an eye or thing about it.
2007-04-30 06:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
well I ain't that old yet,hopefully but yes I could take an awesome vacation on the money I've spent on others over the years,it was given with lots of love but sometimes you just want someone to remember you,especially after two birthdays and no card even,so yes I can relate to that.I think you are just feeling normal.Everyone wants to feel appreciated.Someone suggested throwing a party,well why not?It would make you feel better and yes you are allowed to receive gifts,its your birthday !something to think about.Good Luck and God bless.
2007-05-01 19:19:39 · answer #8 · answered by peppersham 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one DESERVES anything from others. Gifts are always optional and no one who even IS getting married should expect them!
If you are expecting something in return, tit-for-tat, regarding those gifts you have given others, then that's not a gift. A gift is freely given with no expectations of "repayment."
It is nice that you have been a generously gifting person, but these thoughts you just shared with all of us certainly were NOT generous thoughts.
2007-04-30 07:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Not really. No one forced you to do any of those things. Be happy for others. Don't be bitter it will make you an ugly person. good luck.
2007-04-30 06:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 4⤊ 4⤋