Can i make it as a comedian?

Question

A man is walking in the woods and spots a large grizzly bear taking a crap..he slowly starts to back up as the bear notices him and growls..he then gets scared and starts to run, the bear still crapping does not start to chase him..
the man after running for a minute or two stops, he then thinks to himself..why was this bear sh****g in the woods?
not a second later he looks up and see's the bear running towards him..he runs, the bears runs..he pauses lays down and plays dead.
the bear approaches and sniffs the man, the man looks up at the bear and asks.."mr bear why do you s*** in the woods"..
and the bear bites off his nose..
the man thinks he is gonna be killed!!
then suddenly the bear walks away..
the man with his nose missing grabs his shirt to stop the blood, and looks into the woods to see a wolf comming, then the bear see's the wolf and goes after the wolf..
the man thinks wow that was a close one..
he thanks the bear for helping him out of the situation his nose hurts.

this is my best attempt to make it..please tell me how its not funny, I am in stiches when I read it back to myself..am I the only one who finds this hallarious gut busting humour?

Answer 1

no dude.......way over the head.

Try this....


Three guys died and when they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter meets them
there.

St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're
here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you a couple of questions.
Make sure you tell the truth because if you don't you will forfeit your
privilege of being here and we'll have to ask you to visit our friend below.
Your answers will also determine what kind of car you get. You have to have a
car here in Heaven because it is so big!"

The first guy walks up and Peter asks him, "How long were you married?"

The guy replies, "24 years."

St. Peter then asks, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"

The guy says, "Yes, about 10 times...but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto for you to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same questions from Peter to whom he
replies, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her only once, but that was
during our first year and we worked it out and I was faithful there after."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln Town Car for you to
drive."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to
ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated
my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar for you to drive" A
little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with
the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk so they went to see what was the
matter. When they asked him what was wrong he wearily said, "I just saw my wife
and she was on a skateboard!"

Answer 2

you are kidding. right?
Funnier would have been:
two guys were hiking in the woods. they spot a bear and the bear sees them. The bear starts to charge and one guy sits down and takes off his hiking boots. He then reaches into his backpack and pulls out his tennis shoes.
The other guy asks"What are you doing? You cant outrun a bear."
to which the guy with the tennis shoes replies, "No. But I can outrun you!"
That would have been funny

Answer 3

try to find the yak yak club they will help you. that were most of the good ones start at.

Answer 4

No, doll, I didn't get that joke at all.
Perhaps you need better presentation.

Answer 5

I give this a fair

Answer 6

Don't quit your day job.

Answer 7

What? I really don't get it. Your spelling & grammar isn't great either.

Answer 8

ZzZzZzZz *crickets*

Answer 9

not unless you have better jokes than that

Answer 10

Ah, NO