Did this happen for a reason?

Question

don't know how to feel about this situation,but what happened was I met this guy, a few months ago, and he told me found me to be attractive, and a cool person to hang out with and to call him if I wanted to go out.I finally did, after a month of giving it some thought, and took him up on his offer, so the first things he says is that he's broke, and in a few weeks we'll hang out, then a few weeks past, and he tells me something came up, and he will let ME know when he has time, so a few months past, and I run into him again, and he asks me when is he gonna let him take me out, and he aplogizes says he's been going throguh some things, so we set a date, he calls me a few days later, and tells me he's had some deaths in the family, and when he runs into me again we'll aset another date,I run inot him again he doesn't brings it up, and he tells me that i should have came over to him and said Hello, and during the conversation he doesn't bring it up, so i bring it up he's still clamini

Additional Details

6 minutes ago
he's tells me that he's broke and he can't afford nothing at this time because he ahd bills, and he wants me to know that he wants me around and soon as he gets on his feet. "it's on and cracking" and I asked him if Iiked me more than a friend, and he tells me no he says that he thinks that I'm good looking and cool but doesn't want to pursue a serious relationship with me.. but on his myspace page the very next day he changed his status to "in a relationship" and this girl leaves comments on his page and stuff, and she leaves this comment saying I can't wait to see you in a few weeks, and I miss you, and we're going have alot of fun when we go out, and I'm thinking he was straight lying about about being broke...so I deleted him as my friend, erased his number, Do you think I was being too harsh?

I posted this in spirtuality/Religion because I feel wanted some spiritual advice on how to deal with love/rejection because I notice that when I like someone I tend to obsess about it and have very negative thoughts about myself.so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts they can give me to help me move on.Thanks

Answer 1

When you have a good relationship with God and you know you will survive beyond this brief life in the flesh, all the many troubles you encounter will become greatly diminished in their ability to affect you. Jesus said, "To a God-knowing kingdom believer, what does it matter if all things earthly crash?" When God becomes the main focus of your life, you won't have room to obsess over other things, nor will you have the desire to do so! When life on this planet is put in the proper perspective of your future eternity with God, you learn not to sweat the small stuff. So keep your chin up, keep your eye on the ball and grow in your relationship with God and everything else will start to fall into place.

100:2.7 Jesus portrayed the profound surety of the God-knowing mortal when he said: "To a God-knowing kingdom believer, what does it matter if all things earthly crash?" Temporal securities are vulnerable, but spiritual sureties are impregnable. When the flood tides of human adversity, selfishness, cruelty, hate, malice, and jealousy beat about the mortal soul, you may rest in the assurance that there is one inner bastion, the citadel of the spirit, which is absolutely unassailable; at least this is true of every human being who has dedicated the keeping of his soul to the indwelling spirit of the eternal God.

100:2.8 After such spiritual attainment, whether secured by gradual growth or specific crisis, there occurs a new orientation of personality as well as the development of a new standard of values. Such spirit-born individuals are so remotivated in life that they can calmly stand by while their fondest ambitions perish and their keenest hopes crash; they positively know that such catastrophes are but the redirecting cataclysms which wreck one's temporal creations preliminary to the rearing of the more noble and enduring realities of a new and more sublime level of universe attainment.

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like a good situation there, at best it sounds like he is in a relationship and trying to string you along "just in case" and likely several other girls as well. You really ought to pass on this one. No, deleting him and erasing his number was not harsh, it was a decision not to be a doormat for this character to walk on. It took you awhile to do so, but you have made a step toward valueing yourself better. That it took you a month before you even called him, sounds to me like somewhere in the back of your mind you know this one is not a good choice. If he wanted to be with you all that badly, he would have found some "free" way to spend time with you, like going for a walk or a picnic or something, this business about the bills was an excuse. I don't really think you should consider it a "rejection", you never got to know him enough to even get to a first date. Don't get too wrapped up in one guy right now, just meet people, and if the energy's right, go out and have a good time, worry about cultivating friendships in general, and if one of those friendships turns into something more, then great. Perhaps on the spiritual side of your question, you should try praying to the God of your personal understanding to help you learn how to discern when someone is a good person and has your best interest at heart, and take some time to meditate and reflect on what you have to offer someone else, and ask for help in learning how to value yourself, and what you have to offer. Develop your mind, heart, and spirit, take classes, find hobbies, so as you develop your talents more, you will feel better about who you are, with a partner or without one. Give some thought to how you think people should treat each other, and the next time you meet someone "cute", put him up on that yardstick, and pay attention to whether he treats you, or anyone else the way people should. Cute guys get alot less cute, if they don't treat others right, and less "cute" guys get alot more attractive when they treat others with respect and consideration. Good luck to you....

Answer 3

you don't need to hang out with someone so complicated, because as you yourself have seen, it only brings inestability to your life.
money shouldn't be an issue if there is true love. i suspect he has emotional issues rather than economic ones.
if you want spiritual advice, here are two:

if you are a believer:
Philippians 4
12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Proverbs 12:19
Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.


if you are not a believer:
do not cling to anything/anyone thinking that your happiness lies on it/him. the entire world is constantly changing, so you can not take anything for granted. besides, true happiness comes from the inside out, not viceversa. it's all about the mental attitudes you nurture.

let go and move on.

Answer 4

Sounds like to much drama anyway. You need a real man not someone who's afraid to just say "I'm not interested"
You should have gotten the hint sooner. Don't waste your time on men like that. Be patient and pray to God to help find you the right man. Take this one as a learning experience. No love lost here. Your heart and you are a valuable commodity. There is someone out there looking for a girl just like you and will treat you good. So just let this one go and don't give it a second thought.

Answer 5

Aww hon, this man is leading you on. Doesn't he know a walk in the park and a picnic lunch doesn't cost anything? He could offer to cook a bbq or something for you, or even stroll through a local festival.

Being broke has nothing to do with it, if he were interested he'd find something for you two to do together. It sounds to me like he's just embarrassed because he came on to you and doesn't know how to shake you off.

Ease the tension and tell him you are not interested next time you see him. Let him pursue you if he's truly interested :)

Answer 6

Gotcha.
That was probably the best thing you could do for yourself.
When God closes one door, He opens another.

Being single is a GIFT, GIRL!

You probably erased all his info, because God gives you the strength to get way from things--you know what I mean?
He gave you the idea to get rid of that man.

LOTS OF FISH in the sea,.

Later, you are going to have a man, and look back at this and say, "Boy, did I almost screw up?!?!?"

Answer 7

Yes it happened for a reason. From the details you gave this person seems to have a personality that even if were to get together youd have way to much drama that it wouldnt be worth it. So forget him wait on the Lord to bring you someone better.

Answer 8

No, you did right-
Let it go. Just forget him.
Now, when you feel negative-pray to God about how he would have you feel. Then read your Bible. The Psalms are good for this, or Proverbs. Read slow-try to comprehend.
Do this every time you feel bad or negative or rejected. I think you will be surprised.

If you don't have a Bible, and can not afford one-then email me and I'll send you a NIV. I just happen to have an extra one in hardback.

Answer 9

You were definately not being too harsh. Sounds like this person is a player and you were skeptical enough to keep from being played. If you want a serious relationship, begin reading your Bible daily, asking God for holy spirit to help you understand, associate on a regular basis with other people who truly love God and want to do his will. In this way, you will attract to yourself others who take life seriously and want to please God by being truthful and faithful and compassionate.

Answer 10

I believe that the reason for this happening is because maybe you aren't meant for each other. I believe that there is a person out there for everyone and you cannot find them without moving on. I know thats not a very religious answer but God be with you as you move on.