Toddler discipline.. Can someone give me a real mom answer? Sick of textbook on how to teach and discipline.?

Question

I have a wonderfull baby girl. She is amazingly sweet and thoughtfull even at 16 months she knows to share and will come across the room to hug someone. Its so cute. However, I am coming to a point where I am not sure how to discipline. I feel like I am saying no so much. I feel bad too. I take care of her pretty much all alone and with no breaks ever it can be very hard at times.So my question is this.. What is the best way to get my baby to listen to me without spanking or yelling no all the time. I only get one shot to get this right and believe it takes a village to raise a child so this is my village ;) help me out mama's

Answer 1

Have you ever noticed that children "listen" more to when there dad tells them not to do something? Well it's partly because of the tone in their voice.
Lower your voice ( octave - wise too) and in a stearn tone tell her no and a very brief explanation in terms you think she will understand. Time outs are OK,as well as taking away a privilege ( 2 yrs and up).
if the problem persists.
Now I am going to say something here that may cause some flack. I am saying this as as a mom and grandmother ----It is OK to give your child a light swat on their padded little behind -- use it when all else fails.
I can honestly say that in all my years I could count on one hand the number of times I actually swatted one of mine. I had 2 of my own , 3 foster, 2 grandchildren.
They all turned out to be fine human beings, never into drugs or trouble with the law , they are all respectful and as they are now parents --their own kids are doing pretty well too.

Answer 2

Make the punishment fit the behavior. If she colors on the wall, throws her food on the floor, etc, make her clean up the mess. (She's old enough to start that.) But you have to teach your daughter that something is wrong before you can punish her for doing something wrong, so you probably ARE saying "no" a lot - and that's ok, as long as you're doing it in love. And you DO need to tell her "NO". If she starts saying it back, (and all toddlers do) you tell her "I'M the mommy - you don't tell me "no" - then put her on time out. But remember, she's not a little adult, she's a toddler. She doesn't know any better, so you have to guide her. Use a firm tone, but not an angry one. Your daughter is now at an age where she is going to start testing the boundaries you set, so you need to be sure those boundaries are clear. Discipline means "to TEACH". You have to teach her certain behaviors are not acceptable when she exhibits those behaviors. TIME OUT is usually pretty effective. Also, taking a favorite toy for a couple of hours or even the rest of the day. Let her know that BECAUSE you love her, you will not tolerate certain behavior. Spanking should be a last resort - especially at 16 months.

Answer 3

I have 3 and one on the way. The word "no" eventually means nothing to toddlers. Yelling and spanking also does not help. Please just try this. Time out really does work if done in the right way, even at 16 months. When she is doing something wrong, sit her facing a wall for 1-2 min. If she tries to get up sit with her, but don't put her body close to yours. Hold her arms and legs if you have to keep her down. I assure you she won;t like it. Then after the 1 or 2 min is up, explain why she can not do what she was doing. Even at her age this will still work. At this age actions will speak louder than words. Don't forget to overly praise her when she does nice things. This will help to encourage her to do more of the same.

Answer 4

At 16 mts redirection could work, if she gets into something he's not supposed to, call her over and start her with a toy or something. Depending on the reason she needs discipline. Time out works real well too. For example, when my daughter was that age, if she threw something, I would put her in time out and tell her that she was going to sit in time out until she was going to be a big girl and pick up what she threw and put it away. She's 3 now, and after any discipline, I always explain why she was disciplined and I tell her that i love her no matter what.

Answer 5

At 16 months, spanking and time outs don't really work. It's better to redirect or get her attention somewhere else. And always be consistent so she knows what to expect for certain actions. If you do have to discipline harshly, then make sure you're ready with a hug a few moments later. It's better (but you'll have to retrain yourself) to always make things positive. Like instead of saying, "No, don't bang your feet on the chair." Say, "Please keep your feet quiet." You'll find yourself saying "No" a lot less, and kids listen to positive comments a lot better. I know it's hard alone and confusing, but you'll do fine. And believe me, you'll need more than one shot to get it right, you'll mess up over and over, but your kid will love you anyway. I have four kids, so imagine how many times I've screwed up!

Answer 6

hi I'm a mother of two beautiful kids my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 12 months and from a moms point of view its what you are comfortable with and what works like me ill tell them no 3 times which is a warning then i will ask them to sit in there room on there bed for 5 min ill go in and ask them why they were sent to there room and if that doesn't seem to work i spank open handed and i will tell them i love them very much but by the way they are acting makes me very sad and that they need to stop and i sit down with them and talk to them about why they got a spanking and why they felt that acting that way was OK and that seems to work for me but i also use other methods too like time outs standing in the corners taking TV time away or something they want to do

Answer 7

When you don't want her to touch something or play with something try giving her another toy that she likes so that way you're not just taking something away from her. And I know it's hard but always use a calm, yet stern, voice with her. Kids tend to respond more to that than yelling. Make sure that the time you are spending with her is quality. Interact with her as much as possible.

Answer 8

I child will always test your boundaries. They should know that you will not give an inch and when they know this they will shop pushing. Be stern and never give in no matter how much she begs or aggrevates you. I have seen my sis-in-law say no to her daughter and whip her and then let her do exactly what she got introuble for just to get her to hush. The child learns nothing. If you don't give in your child will respect you for it and then parenting becomes a whole lot easier.

Answer 9

Ok, I'm just going to say first off I am an early childhood educator student. So this is sort of out of the textbook however I'm also going to say what I use on my nephew which is more what you're looking for.

With my nephew he understands no. He is older than your daughter. he is 3.
here's the thing about no. you say it to them and they're going to start saying it back to you. thats when big problems start.

so when she does something wrong sit her down on the floor with yourself where the problem occured and talk to her like you'd talk to an adult but without huge words. Ask her why she did something, if she's in a bad mood, etc etc. Get answers.
If you're having a big girl talk with her that's going to boost her ego and make her happy.

Spanking does get their attention but if spanked enough they go numb to it.
Leave spanking to the really sever discipline times.

With my nephew one time he broke my glasses and laughed.
So I sat him on the table and I sat beside him and asked him why he did it and he said another boy broke his aunts glasses and I asked him what happened to that little boy and he said nothing he got to play more. So I told my nephew that it wasn't okay to break peoples stuff and he said he was sorry and wouldn't do it again then kissed my cheek and asked if he could fix them.

The thing is getting down to the eye level of the child and asking them why they did it. They do things for a reason.

I hope this wasn't too out of the textbook for you I tried to give my best example that wasn't out of the textbook and had worked for me.

Answer 10

my son is 21 months and can be a handful i am pregnant again and a single mommy of both, so if i get stressed out instead of yelling or hitting i let him throw his fits in the bedroom and i shut the door and tell him when he is ready to be good he can come play with his toys or watch tv, but not until, it has actually worked so far, the hardest part is not giving in to the crying! LOL it breaks my heart, but i know its good for him.
good luck