How can I stop all the arguing, tattling & lies?

Question

My kids have been driving me crazy lately....boy almost 11 years girl 9 years, boy 8 years....they used to get along so well...but lately it seems that they go out of their way to annoy eachother...and tell on eachother for every little thing...and the youngest has taken to telling lies which only adds fuel to the fire. Any tips to help me get peace back in to my house?

It is almost constant...it's not that they are fighting over who gets to play with a certain toy .... it seems more like who gets to breath in the same air space as the rest of the world....They are fighting for the sake of fighting! Little things like I had that first, I mastered resolutions for long ago.

They do get dicipline...however the typical grounding/loss of privlages isn't cutting it. I am looking for a tried a true way of dealing with it. I am starting to think that they are spoiled because they don't want for much, they are in all sorts of activities, etc...up untill about a month ago, they were fine. They were friends with eachother. Sure, we had minor mishaps here and there but nothing like the everyday occurances now! Also, wondering if the fact that I recently took a part time job (during school hours) and babysitting after school could be contributing to this? If so how can I help them accept the fact that I have to work right now?

Answer 1

I think that when your youngest tattels you should tell all your kids to come over to you and put them all in time out...because if you yell at the kid that your youngest is tatteling about he is going to think its okay to do it again...so put them all in timeout or something...If you ask me i think with how old they are timeout shouldve been stopped a long time ago and now they should have privliges taken away and a chore to do. They need to learn to repesct you and timeout isnt going to help at this age. If they fight over something...tell them they need to take turns and if they still dont listen...take the toy throw it away and take privliges away from them...like no tv for 2 days..or ya know something simple like that..or you could just skip the privliges and make them help u do stuff around the house you could always use more help....your going to have to stop them from doing these things or its just going to get worse and they are going to keep doing it.

Answer 2

All kids go thru that phase. The only thing you can do besides spanking or grounding is waiting it out. Tell them that it isn't right to fight with each other. And if they give you a headache you can always bribe them with something. Bottom line is that you are not alone. As they grow older the fights will either tone down or get fiercer but either way at least they are still talking to each other. Some brothers and sister don't even say hi let alone fight with each other. You are a good mother for having the strength to put up with it for as long as you have. Hang in there...one day their mother's day present may be a trip to Hawaii or something. :)

Answer 3

I say get them involved together in something. Play more group games with them and when one of them starts acting up, tryign to tattle or whatnot, remind them that you are right there and are on top of it.

If they start getting on each others nerves when you are busy and can not occupy their time then you remind them that there are a lot of things that you can keep them busy with if they don't have enough to do. There is always bathroom duty, garbage, vacuuming, dishes, etc.

When you can start having them seperated for at least an hour a day doing something without their sibling. Even if it is read in seperate rooms or watching t.v. Make sure they have downtime without anyone else around.

I haven't come across any of your problems yet so I am not sure if these will work for you, but they may be worth a shot.

Answer 4

You may be right about them behaving badly because you are working and they want more attention. Try to spend time with each of them and talk about the things that you know to be true. If they don't listen, then you have to set rules and enforce them. Some children just don't listen and punishment is the only way. Good luck.

Answer 5

my mom would punish the child that was tattling...not by spanking but by acting as if she didn't care (unless it was something major)...it kinda hurts a kid's feelings but sooner or later my brothers and i(at the time 3,5, and 6 years of age) got the picture and we stopped running to tell every little thing the other one did. as far as the lying i would seriously consider a time out or some other form of discipline, because i can also tell you from experience that it is not a good habit and a lot of times that habit is carried on throughout childhood and into adulthood...it's not a very good characteristic to posses...good luck...

Answer 6

God gave YOU authority over them not them over you OR each other. It is up to YOU to correct them and if I was you I would start by sitting them down for a meeting and telling them EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE. Authority, decider, leader, punisher and enforcer. It sounds like they have no idea who you really are.
You need to be correct in your own thinking. Know your position and act accordingly.
Telling lies is a serious a matter. Tell your youngest the story of the boy who cried wolf.
They are attacking each other because they need discipline and since YOU don't do it, they have truned to each other, but not being authority figures, they are confused and this is the cause of your family mess.

Answer 7

Their behavior is normal, don't let it stress you out. For the tattling, try punishing them as a group. Anytime one of them tattles (only the petty ones of course) on another, put them all in a time out for about 5 min...they'll start bonding after they get tired of doing each others time. The lying deserves a longer time out for him alone.

Answer 8

Hi!
I am a mom myself. My children are older than yours, but kids are more or less the same.
I think they need attention. Try to spent some time with them and get them to do things that they all like so they can share and enjoy together at the same time. Very important, enjoy the activity with them.
Although difficult, try to ignore arguments and fights, and show calm and not interested to all the noise.
As i said before they might try to draw your attention.

Answer 9

You are going to have to just tell your little one that what his is saying is a lie. Then stick him in a time out. As far as the sibling rivalry, you are either going to have to be the middle man most of the time or tell them to figure out the problem for them selves. When they come to tattle, stick both of them in a timeout, telling them one is for the discretion the other for the tattling.

Answer 10

once you sense dissatisfied or depressed with the aid of fact of something your mom says, the final element to do for my section is permit her comprehend that she's frightening you. What you could desire to assert to her is (in a comfortable yet corporation voice), "mom, i such as you very plenty and continually will, yet what you assert is somewhat hurtful. It makes me sense undesirable approximately myself and that i in my view dont like it once you assert those issues to me. i do no longer want to bypass with the aid of existence being mad at you, and the only way that wont take place is that in case you motivate me in existence, and not bringing me down." So say something like that, and in basic terms permit her comprehend the type you sense bearing directly to the situation. If she interrupts in case you're speaking, in basic terms shop a comfortable face, and say "Please do no longer interrupt whilst i'm speaking. thank you." and proceed with what you're asserting. once you convey it to her interest what he's doing for your self self belief, opportunities are high she'll in basic terms comprehend it and think of "What have I achieved?" and he or she will comprehend how she's been making you sense. the substantial to that's to stay calm the finished time. in case you start up yelling and getting riled up, which will in basic terms make her yell extra as a organic verbal self protection. solid luck, stray stable, and in basic terms keep in mind which you're a great and captivating individual :)