Reasons it's great to be a guy:
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Movie nudity is virtually always female.
- A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
- Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.
- Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
- When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.
- All your orgasms are real.
- You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
- You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
- Your last name stays put.
- You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
- Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.
- You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
- If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.
- You can write your name in the snow.
- Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Flowers fix everything.
- You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
- Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.
- You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
- Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.
- You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
- You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
- You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me".
- The world is your urinal.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- One mood, all the time
- You never have to drive on to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
- You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.
- Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
- Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.
- You don't care if someone's talking about you behind you back.
- With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
- You don't mooch off others' desserts.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- The remote control is yours and yours alone.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a littlegift.
- Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.
- You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
- You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
- You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
- If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.
- Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
- You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
Things that suck about being a guy:
- The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.
- External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.
- Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood chipper, you're not allowed to cry.
- Ribbed for her pleasure - not yours.
- You have to wear ties.
- You can't flirt your way out of a jam.
- "Women and children first."
2007-04-30 01:56:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
50 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman
Free drinks.
Free dinners.
Free movies (you get the point).
You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you're gay.
You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU'RE gay.
You know the truth about whether size matters.
Speeding ticket? What's that?
New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school.
If you have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, you're not the devil.
Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
If you have to be home in time for 90210, you can say so, out loud.
If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
You can sleep your way to the top.
You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
Brad Pitt.
You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
If you cheat on your spouse, people assume it's because you're being emotionally neglected.
You never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clipper.
No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
If you think the person you're dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with them.
Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
You can congratulate your teammate without ever touching her ***.
If you have a zit, you can conceal it.
You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
You don't have to memorize The Godfather or Goodfellas to fit in.
You have the ability to dress yourself.
You have an excuse to be a total ***** at least once a month.
You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If you marry someone 20 years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
If you're wearing cologne, you don't have to pretend it's aftershave.
You'll probably never see someone you know while peeing in an alley.
You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
You can quickly end any fight by crying.
Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
You've never had a goatee.
Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.
You'll never regret piercing your ears.
You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
You'll never discover you've been duped by a Wonderbra.
You don't have hair on your back.
You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.
2007-04-30 02:28:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can pee while standing up
2017-03-21 13:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by Peter W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"always the same mood"
that is a load of bull.. you just cant always see the other moods.. most of these yes are true while others are stereotypical
2007-04-30 02:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
im gonna go with wedgemom
2007-04-30 04:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by Elizabeth B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah nice one "Whoo you go girl"!!
2007-04-30 02:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by Untold 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right on sister :)
2007-04-30 02:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by sushi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋