My younger sister, has dissappointed me by deciding not to include me or my children in her wedding party. Instead she has 3 of her friends in her wedding party along with our other sister, and a relative of her fiance. The wedding will take place in another part of the province and will be very costly for my family to attend. I am afraid that I will be unable to just grin and bear it when her wedding day comes, and I won't enjoy myself. Should I go?
2007-04-30 01:19:07 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When my only brother was married, I was not invited to be in the wedding party. My brother's fiance had sisters and friends instead, although, oddly enough, my husband was asked to be a groomsman.
I was hurt, but I went to the wedding, because it was my brother's wedding and I felt it was the right thing to do. I did not enjoy myself, but years later I still think I made the right decision. Weddings are about far more than the day itself. They are about long-term memories, and I would be very sad today not to have been there just because my feelings were hurt at not having been included in the wedding party.
I think you should go, and I very much doubt that you will come to regret spending the money.
2007-04-30 01:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that you're feeling very hurt, and I have no doubt that I would be too in the same situation! It's unfortunate that she chose not to include you. However, what you need to keep in mind is that the day is not about you, it's about her. You're right, you might not have a great time, but your happiness isn't the focus of the wedding - hers is. Go to the wedding, smile your biggest smile, and remember that this is HER day. Although I have no idea why she didn't ask you to be in the wedding, consider the fact that since you're unable or unwilling to be happy for her when you don't get your own way, it might mean that you weren't the best person to support her on her wedding day anyway.
2007-04-30 04:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live far away and it's very costly for your family to attend, your sister may have felt that having you in the wedding party would effectively force you to spend that money to come to the wedding. By not having you in the wedding party, it gives you a chance to make the decision that's best for you financially.
If you don't think you'll be happy, tell her you can't afford the trip and don't go. Don't expect your relationship with her to get any better any time soon, however, if you bail on her wedding. (That'll also reinforce her decision to not include you.)
2007-04-30 09:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how hurt you must feel, (especially since your other sister was invited to participate) but you really should go, just to eliminate the chance that you will regret not going later. Since it will be expensive, consider going without your kids and treating you and your husband to a stay at a really nice hotel instead. If you have each other to focus on, (and weddings can be incredibly romantic, you know) you might not 'stew' as much over being left out. Only attend the parts of the weekend that YOU want to, and spend the rest of the time enjoying your mini-vacation (I'll bet there's a nice spa somewhere nearby...). The bridesmaids will probably envy you when they are flying around in their hideous, expensive dresses running silly errands for the bride. (When I was a bridesmaid, I spent HOURS stuffing little tulle bags with birdseed.) Hope you can enjoy it!
2007-04-30 03:04:45 · answer #4 · answered by ally4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan the marriage that you want. Yeah, there'll be some aspects that are a similar. yet there'll be many aspects which will be diverse. also...imagine of your concentrated visitor record. Out of the only hundred travelers, basically a dozen or so will be relatives out of your element of the relations. So for the different 88 travelers, they gained't be comparing your wedding ceremony for your sister's wedding ceremony. I hate to break it to you, yet loads of the travelers gained't bear in mind what your sister's topic or your topic were. they are going to particularly a lot in simple terms bear in mind that they went to a wedding ceremony, that the bride appeared beautiful, that there grow to be a cake, and the food grow to be passable. and many travelers anticipate that siblings may have their reception interior of a similar venue. till you're donning the very similar gown as your sister, the actual undeniable actuality that both are made from lace is irrelevant. The clothing might want to be wildly diverse from one yet another even although both have lace.
2016-11-23 16:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being her sister doesn't entitle you to a spot in the wedding party, especially since you seem to live far away from her. The attendants have duties, which are difficult to accomplish at a distance. Grow up and go to the wedding. Are you less of a sister because you aren't standing next to her at the altar? Come back to reality. A bride can only have so many attendants. Each one greatly increases the cost, especially since most people will want a groomsman for every bridesmaid. You're being petty and selfish. If you are going to be unpleasant at the wedding, then no, you shouldn't attend. However, hopefully your sister will only marry once and you may regret not going for the rest of your life. Get over yourself, attend the wedding, and have fun.
2007-04-30 01:27:39 · answer #6 · answered by rosekm 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
When my favorite brother got married, his bride had all her sisters as bridesmaids, my brothers and hers were groomsmen. I was the only member of both our families not in the wedding party, only sister of the groom.
I was like you, it was costly as we had to travel as well and hotels, food etc. We really could not afford it. But, with hurt feelings, and all we went, I didn't have the best time of my life, but I am very glad I went.
Hurting them on their big day by not attending would have been petty and served no purpose. I have a great relationship with brother and sister-in-law (who I didn't know that well at the time) and I wonder if that would have been so if I'd started things out by sitting on the "pity pot"
Go!
2007-04-30 01:36:02 · answer #7 · answered by Choqs 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE ANY BROTHERS OR
SISTERS, BUT I DO HAVE A BROTHER IN LAW
WHO MARRIED IN THE PAST AND DID NOT ASK
MYSELF OR MY HUSBAND TO PARTICIPATE IN
THE EVENT. SO I KINDA KNOW HOW YA FEEL.
BUT THEY WERE READY TO ASK FOR SPONSOR-
SHIP ON A ITEM. BUT ALL IS WELL. BUT I CAN
ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL THIS IS UR
BABY SISTER AND U WERE NOT INCLUDED
AND THAT IS A VERY TOUCHY SUBJECT. I THINK
U SHOULD BE AN EXAMPLE AND IF POSSIBLE
ATTEND THE WEDDING WITH SMILES AND
BEST WISHES TO THE BOTH OF THEM. FAMILY
SHOULD STICK TOGETHER AND OVERSEE
ALL FAULTS OF ONE ANOTHER. HOW EVER
PAINFUL IT MAY BE...... BESIDES MAYBE SHE
DID NOT WANT TO PUT U IN ANY KIND OF
FINANCIAL BIND.... I'M SURE THERE IS A GOOD
REASON..................
2007-04-30 02:30:51 · answer #8 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course! She's your sister! I know your feelings may be hurt....but it's her day and her wedding. It's not your choice who is in the wedding party. But by all means, you should go to the wedding. You will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't.
2007-04-30 02:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are these ladies in her wedding party close with her. I am guessing you do not live close. Maybe she thought you could not afford a bridesmaid dress and wedding attire for your children especially if you were going to be paying to travel. If you won't enjoy yourself it is because you are jealous and selfish...this is your sisters special day...not yours. Be happy for her and consider yourself saving some $.
2007-04-30 03:48:48 · answer #10 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋