How do you deal with being "perfect"?

Question

Let me start by saying I don't believe I'm "perfect". Life is a process of attaining perfection, or at least coming as close to it as one can.

But one person who knew me claimed I was so "perfect" I made others feel "inadequate" by comparison. She said I trigger the "too good to be true" syndrome where, if someone seems too good to be true, that person shouldn't be trusted.

Another has told me that being with me is so "perfect" that it is impossible for our two worlds to co-exist. I make her unhappy with her world simply by giving her a glimpse of mine.

What is the incentive to being good, to being more than mediocre, to being thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of others, to loving others as you would have them love you if, in the process, you find yourself increasingly isolated and alienated from a humanity which otherwise complains about the nastiness of other humans?

(yes, this is a serious spiritual question)

Rayu: Nirvana is undesirable if it means being alone. We are social creatures, and thus we need others to share and complete our existence.

Sentinel: I wish. That I could understand. No. These individuals were being totally sincere. :-(

Withrow: I wish that were true, but after 30 years of looking for people like me, I have my doubts that such individuals exist or that they exist in sufficient numbers that one can accidently bump into them.

Laptop: It was my humility that was cited as an example of why I am considered "perfect" by the first individual I mentioned in my initial question.

-I- am not saying I'm "perfect". But I must deal with the perception of those who get to know me who think me "perfect" (despite my pointing out my own imperfections).

JC: I am not trying to be an "example of purity". I am trying to be the best I can be, to love and be loved, to be a blessing to friends and loved ones, to help those who are persecuted.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "filth of this world", but if you are speaking of people, I've found no one who can be described as "filth". There are those who are hurting so bad they strike out at others. If they allow it, I help.

whoops.

"if they allow it, I help" should have read "if they allow it, I help them overcome their pain."

Sorry for the unintended misunderstanding.

Sunman: See my comment to Rayu. To me "perfection" and "isolation" are contradictory concepts, when dealing with a human. We are social creatures. To be "perfect" we must, in part, love and be loved.

Sunman: It is not my capacity to love that is in doubt, but the ability of others to love who I am and who I am becoming.

I seem to be reaching a level others find truly challenging. I seem to be moving beyond being "lovable" to being "awe-inspiring".

I do not want to inspire awe. I want to be loved, like anyone else. I am a man, not a god. My feet are made of clay, not gold.

Answer 1

Just keep being yourself, but be careful not to be condescending towards others (you may be subconsciously doing so and not know it) but if you aren't, just keep being the best you can be and you should attract others that are like you.

People who are not like you will not be able to be around you for long periods of time (different energies), so don't take it personally!

Nobody likes to be reminded of how much growing they still have to do...

Answer 2

Hello,
I find their responses to be contradictory, let me explain. If someone is perfect then there must be a descriptive meaning to this comment. That is to say, if a person is saying that something is perfect then in every situation being around someone who is thought of, as being perfect would be heavenly. That does not seem to be the case at hand for you. You must still strive to avoid the filth of this world so that you may honor God. This does not mean that your works save you, because our works to attain salvation will never be good enough to earn a free-gift that is meant for all of those who will receive it; you cannot buy it. In reality, spend time with people who will build you up and not tear you down. Like-wise you should seek to use your purity as an example for others to strive for. Purity is not worth trading: in comparison, a diamond (your purity) and a pebble (worthless living).
Please let me know if this helps by email.

Answer 3

Well this question all depends on what you really believe. I know that we lived with God before we came to earth (Jerimiah 1:5) and that we are being tested to see if we will still follow God. In the end, if we had lived worthily we will be placed in one of three kingdoms. Where the highest is the Celestial kingdom, which is the kingdom where God lives.

Even if you don't believe this, Christ said be ye perfect as I am perfect. No one can not sin. (1 John 1:8) But through the atonement we can obtain perfection.

Answer 4

You're right, 'perfection' in those terms implies a state where no more learning or growth can happen and no such state exists.
Perfection is the essence of a direction.(thanks Seth)
You are creating your life, and if you're doing a great job, there are bound to be those who compare their life to yours and end up feeling envious and inadequate.

What is the incentive to 'being good'?
It's your responsibility to become your idealized self(the perfected self) That's the incentive that brings its own rewards.


-----don't hide your light under the bed.


-----I'm not suggesting anything like isolation or nirvana, in fact, I'm suggesting the opposite. The more you evolve the more loving you become as a unique individual.

Answer 5

I am not perfect, my goal is to be perfect, but it will not happen this side of heaven.

I have had people tell me that when they see me, they see Jesus. I consider that quite a compliment, however they have never seen Jesus and are not able to make that comparison.

As we walk through life, God brings certain things into our lives that test us and the results of the testing is to make us more like His Son, Jesus the Christ.

More like Jesus, is far from perfect. We needed a blood sacrifice to atone for our sins. Scripture tells us that in the eyes of God our most righteous works are like filthy rags.

Our spirits will be taken up to be with God and His Son in heaven, and our old and worn out bodies will be placed in the grave. When our spirits leave our flesh we will be completed and we will be as perfect as we shall ever be.

grace2u

Answer 6

Theres no easy way to deal with it.

People attain this so called 'perfection' by constantly trying.

Happiness is a state of becoming, not being. I always say.

So if people have a problem dealing with it, its their problem.

Theres a very famous saying in my culture: people see in other people, what they have inside themselves.

So if people feel weak or inadequate when youre around, that just shows that they have a weak sense of self esteem and a distrust of their own true potentials.

If you feel the need to explain yourself and the way you chose to live, you may say it like this: Im no different than you are in nature, I just think trying to be better is the way to be. And encourage them to be better simply by trying.

We were never born as heros or as whimps, we chose to be so by our own attitudes and not trying when we need to.

Answer 7

No one is perfect. Just because a few other people see you this way doesn't mean you are. You obviously haven't learned to deal with pride and that humongous ego.
Perhaps you should try working on your humility as it is a area getting in the way of your own self perfection.

Answer 8

In their vanity and all-consuming need to feign equality, most people will agree that this is a good thing, just that they want you to know they're a little more equal than you. They say they want you to drive, but they never want you to actually have the keys. If your wanting to be perfect (blameless) rocks their comfort zone, perhaps they are the one in the wrong boat.

Answer 9

Orion could it possibly be that she was being sarcastic or just defeated because you are more perfectionist than perfect?
I am a perfectionist and I can be a right pain in the backside at times.

Answer 10

Perfection isn't a good thing, if anything, it's a limitation, because once you've achieved perfection, what else is there to do?