Me and my fiance are living on opposite sides of the world so organising our wedding so far hasn't been easy- through email, text messaging and the occasional (very expensive) phone call.
When we first talked about our ceremony we agreed very small and personal because it's the sentiment behind it that's important not the big party.
I know he's trying to be helpful most of the time BUT he keeps inviting friends and making decisions without consulting me first. For example we agreed on 2 close mutual friends to attend and today I get an sms telling me that 3 more of his friends are going... When i asked why he didn't tell me before he just said that they're his friends and he wants them there.
However, he can't seem to understand how I feel- out of my family only my mum can attend, and none of my friends can fly out for the ceremony. He thinks I'm being unreasonable for limiting his guests.
Am I...??
I need an objective perspective on this one.
2007-04-30 00:19:07 · 9 answers · asked by lerato 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have no doubt that he's the right man for me, that's why my question isn't about whether we should still get married or not... It's just so difficult organising it so far away from eachother.
One of the reasons my family and friends can't attend is because of the compromise we made on the date.
Yes, part of the reason why I'm a bit upset is because my side will be empty but also because i don't really know the friends he's invited very well. I guess it's not a big deal in the greater scheme of things but in the planning of our big day it does feel like an issue...
2007-04-30 00:55:47 · update #1
You're sad that your people can't go, and that's perfectly understandable. However, that doesn't mean you should limit how many of his people can come.
I take it that you're going to be living on his side of the world, and that's why you're getting married there. In that case, you really souldn't alienate his friends and family, because they're going to become your friends and family now that you'll be away from home.
You should fly back home with him after your wedding (maybe as part of your honeymoon) and have a get together with your family and friends. Maybe even just all go out to a nice dinner together at a nice restraunt. That way you can share the celebration with them, bring the pictures with you and stuff.
2007-04-30 09:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This crap about the sentiment and not the party, come on. This is going to be the biggest ceramony of your life. Live it up. My wife and I had a very inexpensive wedding, we had a family member cater it and the ceramony and reception at a local hall. Save money so you can invite more family and friends. I believe you will be happier later on in life when you look back at the beautiful day when everyone you knew was focused on you....and you new hubby too!
2007-04-30 00:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by yahoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh hunny, I understand how you feel very very very well. It is a daunting thought that "your" side be empty while his side is full, but I have noticed a few other people have said the same thing I am going to say.
These friends of his are not only there for him, but they are there for you too. He is very very proud to be marrying you, obviously and wants anyone that is close to him there to see it.
I am sure you feel the same way and I am sorry that your friends will be unable to be there is body, but I am sure they will be there in spirit.
Getting married means blending friends and family, so these guests are there for the pair of you. Be happy that he is so proud that he wants to show you off! :)
2007-04-30 00:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by mrsmommaid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him invite his guests. This is your wedding day and he wants his friends there to celebrate your marriage- what better time to get to know them? Maybe after the wedding you can arrange a small party with your side of the family/friends to celebrate. I wish you the best of luck, and Congratulations!
2007-04-30 02:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by terasa425 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the way you are going to start your marriage, I think you should call the whole thing off.
I'm sorry only your mother can attend. But why should HE have to not invite HIS friends because yours cannot come?
A wedding is meant to be a celebration and a public demonstration of your commitment to each other.
To begin it on a note of personal selfishness and pettyness does not bode well for your future.
Welcome his freinds with open arms, and be grateful that the people he cares about CAN bet here for this special day.
2007-04-30 00:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by ladykiri 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
IT IS COMPLICATED AND VERY STRESSFUL TIME.
AND I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL, BUT AT
THE SAME TIME U NEVER KNOW MAYBE THESE
FRIENDS WILL NOT SHOW UP. AND THERE WILL
BE ALL THIS FUSS FOR NOTHING..... I ALSO KNOW
THAT U WANT UR FAMILY THERE AND ONLY U
KNOW WHY THEY ALL CAN NOT ATTEND...... BUT
AT THE SAME TIME HE SHOULD CONSULT U
AS I AM SURE HE WOULD LIKE FOR U TO
CONSULT HIM ON A DECISION.... THAT IS SOME
THING THE BOTH OF U DISCUSS................ I ONLY
WISH THE BEST OF LUCK FOR THE BOTH OF U
AND MUCH HAPPINESS......................
2007-04-30 03:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't agree on share and share alike should you be marrying him? Remember this is your special day too. How many of his family can make it? Can more of your friends make it? Seems like you both should talk it over more before anything is set in concrete. What happened on my wedding day set the tone for my marriage and now I'm divorced! Not to scare you, but this is a very serious step, are you both ready?
2007-04-30 00:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by apricotchildau 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are not unreasonable. It should be about both of you and your feelings. Have a serious chat with him about it and let him know you are serious.
2007-04-30 00:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by Tanner 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships sucks period.
2007-04-30 00:22:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋