My hubby & his mom were never close. He moved out at 18. He talk to her every now and than but, she got the hit she didn't want her around but, after he join the army & got married. She went freakin crazy! The last day before he was getting sent off for boot camp. He wanted to be with me & no one else. She call the house & said You need to choose me or your wife. you can't have both. He called her couple of bad names and picked me.3 months after boot camp she called the red cross trying to find out where he lives. The red cross gave her his unit phone #. She even called his SGT to get him to come home. He called her 3 times in a year period tell her to leave him. She just won't. To this day she says she never asked him that question. We found out she on depresstion pills becuz he won't talk to her & she tried killing herself over this. She pretty much tells everyone that her son hates her. I really think she wants people to feel sorry for her. She still with married to my hubby dad.
2007-04-29 18:59:06 · 13 answers · asked by susieq2913 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My hubby & his mom were never close. He moved out at 18. He talk to her every now and than but, she got the hit she didn't want her around but, after he join the army & got married. She went freakin crazy! The last day before he was getting sent off for boot camp. He wanted to be with me & no one else. She call the house & said You need to choose me or your wife. you can't have both. He called her couple of bad names and picked me.3 months after boot camp she called the red cross trying to find out where he lives. The red cross gave her his unit phone #. She even called his SGT to get him to come home. He called her 3 times in a year period tell her to leave him. She just won't. To this day she says she never asked him that question. We found out she on depresstion pills becuz he won't talk to her & she try killing herself over this. She pretty much tells everyone that her son hates her. I really think she wants people to feel sorry for her. She still married to my hubby dad.
2007-04-29 19:25:56 · update #1
I called her to try to make things better after year & a half after he stopped talking to her. All she try to do was use me to get to him. My hubby & I started fighting all the time over her so I told her things aren't going to work out at this time. She said pretty much said I don't care about you & i need my son. I'll never stop trying to get him back. She never showed love to him before. I'll never forget this day. We came over to her house few days before the wedding. she ask us to come. she looked right at him & said you know your a freakin butt (in meaner words) & we walked away. At our wedding she kept asking me if i was preg. she said to him I better not be a grandma in the next 5 years. About a week later she called telling us how happy that his older brother (only by 1year &6 months) its & a baby. His bro dated this girl for 3 months before she got preg. That a little for info on what happened. I just wondering if she over reacting? I know he been alot happier without he
2007-04-29 19:49:47 · update #2
It sounds like she is unstable, but if your hubby is mature then maybe he could do family counseling and maybe reconnect I didn't hear any mention of children yet but that will be a major stress on them both and children will one day want a connection with the grandparents. You could help them by asking them to speak maybe and if it is impossible for the relationship to be put back together, you could still encourage her to receive counseling for the emotional stress she is going through.
2007-04-29 19:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by STACY F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This mother has had a very difficult time letting go of her son. Afterall, he was only 18 when he left home which is still abit young. She was probably not ready for it as it sounds as if he left on not so good terms. I feel very bad for the mother. We love our children more than anything in the world, and then when children grow up they forget what we went through to love them and to do things to make them happy. This mother needs to speak to someone who has been through a similar situation. She is just having a hard time with not having her son around any longer. Time will heal all of this. In the meanwhile, good luck to all involved! I do NOT believe that a daughter-in-law should try to come between son and mother out of jealousy or anger. Mom was there before the wife was.
2007-05-07 23:12:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Rhinestone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sad situation. If I was you I would be supportive of your husband and probably not speak to his mom about the situation. I bet he feels a bit ganged up on when you do and it will cause you to continue to fight. You don't want to lose your marriage over this.
As far as his mom goes. If she is on depression medicine I can assure you her problem runs much deeper than this situation. She sounds like a very trouble women.I would just stay out of it and let your hubby deal with it.
2007-05-07 13:19:24 · answer #3 · answered by veronica7417 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there is an actual answer to the situation you have proposed. That being said there are several important things to consider when having trouble with in-laws. First even if your significant other talks negatively about their parents doesn't mean they think it's o.k. for you to do it. Second I often ask my clients is it better to be happy or to be right. In other words, is it worth it to confront either him or her. you risk alienating both of them. You still have the opportunity to be the bigger person. My advice would be to support him and model what a supportive partner can look like. It makes his decision easy and you gain points for keeping your cool and providing perspective. If he doesn't at least acknowledge that his mom is out of line and as an adult he needs to make his own decisions about who he's with he may not be ready for a serious relationship and u may be setting yourself up for disappointment.
2007-04-30 02:13:38 · answer #4 · answered by smith81111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love my son as I am sure his mother does. I would do anything to talk to him if he was sent away with the army. I would be depressed if he expressed no desire to talk to me. Give her a break. While he may be saying he wants nothing to do with her he has issues he needs to be working out with his mother. Dont get in the middle and tell him he is doing the right thing. How a man reacts to his mother is a clear indication as to how he will treat his wife so if I was you I would be be gently suggesting he contact her a talk about what it is he feels she has done to him. There are always 2 sides to a story.
2007-04-30 02:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your MIL has major emotional problems. She doesn't want to share your husband with anyone else. Even though they are estranged. Just because she is depressed and on meds and "tried" to commit suicide does not mean it's your husband's fault.
We are all responsible for our own state of mind. She's depressed because of her own issues, not because of anything your husband did. If a person is truly suicidal, they will succeed no matter how many times they have try....
See if your husband's personal information can't be with held from anyone other than those he designates.
2007-04-30 02:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa. Something is awry here! Your mother-in-law needs counseling. When you and your hubby were married, he had made his choice. You were it. Now, the two of you are one. If she does not recognize your status, it will not be possible to have a normal relationship with her. Be cautiously kind. She is very, very sick. If you can write her a letter that is firm, yet loving and be consistant. with time, perhaps the relationship will heal.
2007-04-30 02:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she has no life and she wants to control your husband. Your husband is not feeding into her pleas for attention and it is making her really upset. That is why she keeps doing all o ftheis crazy stuff. Why would she be happy that one child is having a baby but not you. This is because she is jealous that he loves you endlessly and not her.
2007-05-07 23:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by mrsreed73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should step up to the plate and tell her you are not a bad person and that you love her son very much and that he needs to give it some time, maybe he'll come around one day but, to please stop calling because this is his decision and not yours. maybe he had a rough life with his mom and wants no ties with her. just keep supporting your husband and keep lovong him
2007-04-30 02:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by CUTIE PIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a really bad situation. What is the question?
2007-04-30 02:04:01 · answer #10 · answered by Chali 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋