How should I deal with my boyfriend's parents?

Question

I really REALLY do not like his family. His mother is manipulative and controlling and his stepfather is abusive and mean. She demands money from my boyfriend, and she emotionally degrades him at every chance she gets. I've been dating my bf for 4 years, and I should be welcomed to the family. Instead, they did not even invite me to her birthday party. My bf has to ask for permission so I can go over to his place. She doesnt like me, so she doesn't allow me in their home. I love my bf and I would never give him up, but his parents are awful people that I cannot stand to be around. I can't imagine if I marry into his family. I am just so frustrated.

Answer 1

It's about you and your boyfriend. If you are solid then that's all that matters. Talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling, I'm sure he hates the fact that his family treat you like this. Be strong. I know it's hard for you but you can't change the fact that they are his family. Therefore, be thankful that you don't have to live with them. Be strong and cope with it for your boyfriends sake. You can't choose family you just have to deal.

Answer 2

kin may be complicated, yet no longer impossible. in case you propose on marrying your boyfriend, you may desire to locate the thank you to settle for his kin or you would be an extremely unhappy individual. If there are matters, that's up on your boyfriend to handle his kin, no longer you. i think of it is unhappy which you do no longer delight in the presents she made for you. Quilts take particularly some time and artwork to make. i ask your self why she could spend lots time making something so particular, then supply it to you, once you have such undesirable thoughts for her? You sound very youthful and immature from the comments you're making. Why could desire to you care what his sister gets for Christmas? His households funds are no longer your difficulty, they do no longer owe the two of you a proof for something they verify to purchase. i think of you're overreacting and getting lots greater disenchanted than you may desire to. in case you are able to not replace the way you experience approximately his kin and that they disenchanted you this lots, in line with probability the best element you're able to do for each individual is walk away. good success.

Answer 3

Well you must respect his family, and if for, 4 years you all have been dating, it seams that you all would have learn how to get along, how old are the both of you, are you old enough to get your own place, if so than that's what you need to do, and depending on how close he is with this family, i really would think twice before marriage,he should talk to his parent and let them know, that you are a part of his life and that if you are not welcome and then he is not welcome, because he is going to have you in his life.

Answer 4

I don't agree - you can marry him without marrying his family. But as long as he lives under their roof, you're just going to have to deal with them, and be as nice about it as you can. How old are you 2? Short of coming right out and asking his mom why she doesn't like you, there's not much else you can do. Make plans away from his home - have him come to yours instead, or go out out and do something away from both homes. Sometimes, there's just no pleasing someone, but keep at it and when your bf can get out of that house, make it a day to celebrate :) Good luck.

Answer 5

my husband's family is kind of the same way, without the controlling and abusiveness. i wasn't allowed into the house, didn't go to anything family-wise, because they didn't agree with how we lived our lives (premarital sex, etc- religious people). when we got married 3 days before our 4 yr anniversary, all i heard was "welcome to the family!". i got mad!!!! you don't even know what i was saying! all these years of nothing, then a big "we love you , etc!". all i can tell you is that you need to stand by your boyfriend, and remember, you might need to interact with his family, but you and he need to live your own lives too.

Answer 6

If you have been dating for 4 years, you must be close to legal age.When it arrives, have him move out and get his own place.Dont need to deal with his family at all.
Just because he lets them abuse him, you do not have to let them abuse you.

Are you sure you want a guy who wont stand up for you?

Answer 7

If he still lives at home, you don't know what arrangements he has with his parents. Maybe his mother is upset that he is still in her house acting like a grown-up, but not behaving as such. Maybe he OWES her money!! What your boyfriend presents to you as truth is only one side, and if you only observe and draw your own conclusion then you truly don't know the half...

Answer 8

Sometimes things just dont work out the way it should, I'm sorry your boyfriend's parents are so rude, however you have to accept them for who they are and understand, they might just be another obstacle in the relationship you have to overcome, yours and his happiness does not have to depend on them, however if you do seek to find their acceptance than I suggest you just talk to them. That's the best way to do things, to go straight for it. Also you have to keep in mind, this is who they are, you have to accept them, how can they accept you?

Answer 9

Family comes with the deal, it'll escalate, so middle road is the best tact. He loves them and its best to cut them slack, cause I know after 26yrs my mil is dying of cancer and I regret we did not connect, its sad and both our fault. Try to see my end product and be better!

Answer 10

if it's 4 years that u r trying to get close to them and they refuse, u shouldn't continue seeking their acceptance 'coz it's damaging .just do what u like with ur bf and try to ignore his family. someday they'll surrender to their son's decision. wish u luck!