Okay so I've been dating this guy for like 2 months and everything has been going smooth. Well a good friend of his passed away and he's been upset for a while. I'm not a very open person and I didn't comfort him about the situation as much as I should have and I explained to him how I'm sorry about his friend and that I felt bad not being as comforting about his situation as I should have been. It's really hard for me to open up. Well I really didn't get a response back about it. He use to call me often and talk online w/ me a lot but after this inccident I like haven't really talk to him at all. I think he just needs time in order to heal the pain. I haven't hung out w/ him in almost a week and it seems as if he's trying to avoid me. It's either that or he just wants to be alone. I decided to not push and to let him come to me if he wants to talk or hang out. Is that a bad idea or are there other ways I can approach this situation?
2007-04-29 16:09:22 · 10 answers · asked by D. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I told him how I have a hard time opening up to people and stuff I also told him that didn't mean I wouldn't be there for him when he's upset. So he should know that I care about him and that I'll be there for him when he needs to talk, but still I haven't gotten much of a response from him. Other than giving him space and letting him come to me when he's ready I don't know what else to do. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. Other ideas on approaching this situation or should I just stick w/ my idea?
2007-04-30 09:22:59 · update #1
I think you are doing very well as you have put it ~~
2007-04-29 16:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it has been a week I think that it is time to get in touch with him again and see him in person. Talk with him and just encourage him to talk about his feelings. Losing a close friend is very hard and I know that alot of people have problems dealing with death and dying. Since he is your boyfriend you should be there for him. Don't let him close the door to much on his feelings because if he doesnt vent to someone close to him and thoughts and feelings it will just eat him up on the inside. All these thoughts all these feelings, the good times along with the bad times are going to mix together about him and his friend and anger and the loss of a friend and so on. I know that it will be very hard for you but you need to see him you need to be there for him.
2007-04-29 23:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by The_Morbid_One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being strong for someone you love is the best thing that you can do. Everyone experiences loss in there own way an ddeals with it in there own way...just let him talk to you when he is ready...and be ready to listen (not fix) to his problems.....spend the time you can but do not do it with the intent of getting him to talk or take his mind off of things...just do it to spend time with him....He will see that you are there for him and he will in time talk if he feels up to it....just remember hemay not want to talk about it at all...this does not mean anything about you or your relationship..it is truely that some people keep things in and internalize their feelins. Hang in there he needs you more than he may let on.
2007-05-07 22:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by Dennis J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i definitly think u should give him his space. if you feel he truly needs it, than do it. If a guy does not wanna talk bout it than there is nothing u can really do. He needs to knoe u understand his situation but at the same time, he needs to understand yours. Yours being, ur unability to express your emotions openly...My suggestion is to call him up, if he doesnt answer leave a voicemail and just let him know your doing your best to try and be there for him, and if there is anything he needs to let you know...
2007-05-07 21:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by jessica v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey babe trust me i'm a guy and we hate wen girls do that. If you really lik the guy then wouldn't you make the first move instead of him. Don't u realize that sum guys are shhy and that they may move on. He is probably sic of waiting around for you to make a move so he probably got impatient of you. But trust me jus go up to him in a cool manner and tell him how u feel or tell him if u wanna hang out sometime.
2007-05-07 21:39:28 · answer #5 · answered by TheMessenger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very difficult situation. its hard to say, but i think you should say " hey i know you are having a tough time right now, and i dont really know what you need. but you know if you ever need help i will talk to you or do whatever i can to help you through this." that way you wont have to back away from them, but still let them know that you are there for them.
i hope everything goes well/
2007-04-29 23:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by alexs117 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is about HIM and his feelings. Give him the time and space he needs to deal with the loss of his friend.
The surest & fastest way to screw up the relationship is to start trying to force yourself on him right now. Give him space and he'll be around if and when he's ready.
He will really appreciate you not pushing him and not making this all about your own insecurities.
2007-05-07 18:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Ivary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he needs time give him time but again life foes on after death and it's not fair for you to put your life on whole for him when my friend Le Le died I had to keep going and that's what he'll have to learn to do what's the point of being alive but dead on the inside?
2007-05-07 20:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by goldprincess6832 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has your number. Let him come to you.
You may want to give him a sympathy card to show that you care.
2007-04-29 23:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by Scotty H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES
2007-05-07 10:48:34 · answer #10 · answered by neverthelesser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋