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I dated a woman for about 6 months. This was over 2 years ago. Several months after we broke up she told me she was pregnant but when I asked her if the child was mine she swore up and down it had nothing to do with me. Now she comes forward and asks for a DNA test and child support. Now that I am married and trying to start a new life. I didnt run and I went ahead and took the DNA test and found that the child is mine. I was angry mostly at myself for being so stupid for believing her when I asked her if she was an birth control. Anyways, I went ahead and filed a paternity order to establish visitation and support with this child. However, I dont trust the mother and I feel her only purpose in having this child was for her to use her as an anchor to stay here(She is Illegal). She even joked about perhaps me getting a divorce so I could help her with her status! Pissed me off even more and now I want to report her to ICE to have her deported. Child can stay with me.

2007-04-29 15:38:18 · 20 answers · asked by rud 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Other - Pregnancy & Parenting

20 answers

Well, I would leave it alone unless you feel your child is being mistreated, neglected or abused! She pissed you off is not a good reason. Remember that no matter what this woman is always going to be in your life now! What ever her reason she has taken care of this baby for 2 years w/o any help from you, and unless you know that she was an unfit parent, you just need to tell her to back off! What she did was wrong and she should apologize- although that cannot give you the 2 years back at least it would be a start. If at all possible try to work things out in a civil manner with this woman. BUT if you find that she is unfit- do not hesitate to report her! Good Luck!

2007-04-29 15:49:34 · answer #1 · answered by tcconssw 4 · 0 0

YOU SOUND VERY VINDICTIVE
anyway you should have know better, by the way pregnancy is not the only think that can occur from not having sex wihtout a condom
and you are wrong about them deprting her and left the child
if she get deported the will send the child with his mom
she is also wrong she can't use the child to stay in the country
so both of you better stop been selfish and be responsible adults
and also what make you think that your wife will want the child is the mother hand it over to you

2007-04-29 22:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0 0

It is extremely hard to have a child taken from her mother, unless there is some proof of abuse, neglect or physical or emotional danger. Do you really want to be responsible for taking a child away from their mother?? That itself is emotionally damaging. How would your conscious let you sleep? Be sure to think it through and don't make hasty decisions if you are angry, you may regret it. If you feel the child is in danger report the mother, but look out for the best interest of the child, not yourself. good luck

2007-04-29 22:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by bubsmom06 2 · 1 0

Anger is a lousy reason to destroy anybody's life! Unless she's abusive to the child, NO, don't report her! This is hard for you to comprehend, maybe, but she is Mommy to that child and serious emotional problems can result from separating them. Unless the child is being mistreated, she should have her mother in her life. Also, getting pregnant is hardly grounds for deportation. There's no proof she did it for legal status - she could have married somebody more easily.

2007-04-30 02:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by C.J.S. 2 · 1 0

Your child's legacy and health is the vital question in your indiscretion. First, stop bad mouthing the mother of your child, especially as the child grows to an understanding age. This never does any good in your relationship with your child or with the relationships between you, the child and mother. Work out equitable visitations, and support payments and keep your part of the child rearing responsibility fair, consistent, and forever. Bond with this child as if your are bonding with your legitimate children. Never allow this child, who had nothing to do with it's conception, birth, or the fact it was born outside of marriage, feel inferior to his/her peers, siblings, or others. Rear this child with great love, or be prepared to deal with an angry adult!

2007-04-30 01:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I doubt you will be able to deport her, especially without her child. She is now the mother of a US citizen!
Also, just because you are 'pissed', don't make the mistake of antagonizing your child's parent. You will be parents until you die - do you want to make your child, his mom and yourself miserable for the next 18 years?
Get a lawyer, counselor, or pastor to mediate a custody/support plan you can work with - I know you want what is best for your child.

2007-04-29 23:55:28 · answer #6 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 0 0

with the laws the way they are there is no guarantee that the child will be able to stay with u and then you will have ruined your chance to be a father to your own child. i would just try toget over your anger b/c u cant change the past and now u have a beautiful child to look forward to helping raise. dont act foolishly out of anger-trust me when i tell u it only ends up hurting u.

2007-04-29 22:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by juststephgodawgs01 2 · 1 0

Dont be vile, be the better person. You have NO need to divorce your wife and NO need to "assist" her (the ex) with her immigration status (you should've thought of that before you dated her). That child needs its mother as much as it needs its father. You need to give it time after the child is born. If you suspect their is abuse or negligence then yes, file for custody but if that child is doing well, there is no need to traumatize it by taking him/her away from his/her mother.

2007-04-29 23:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by H P 1 · 1 0

You'd probably need proof she had the baby to stay here. I don't know how deportation works when the child is a citizen but give it a try.

2007-04-29 22:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by Dawn-Marie 5 · 1 1

You would be selfish to do that. Your child needs a mother and a father and you have to forgive her for what she did. No matter what, she's the mother of your child and you can't prove that she's a bad mother.

2007-04-29 22:43:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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