Any funny thing happen to you in church?

Question

At my mother's funeral I got the giggles. My brothers and I went to view her body at the front of the church. We all looked at her, and she had the make-up of a cheap white-trashed whore. So two of us began to giggle. From behind it looked like we were crying. My mother's friends rushed up to console us...and we had to pretend to cry. Love ya mom!

Answer 1

I got the giggles at my grandmother's funeral. I couldn't cry and it came out in laughter instead. However, that wasn't at church, it was in a funeral home so to answer your question:
My best friend and I were in church about 2 months ago and it was well into the sermon. She reached in her purse and without looking at me simply extended her hand to offer a mint. I took it and was a little disturbed by the taste. It tasted like fabric sheets smell. I was trying to decide if I liked it or not (apparently it was some sort of special flower mint you can only buy in Wisconsin) and my girlfriend got tickled by the odd look on my face. You know how you do the "PPPFFFF" sound when you're trying to hold back laughter and it comes out anyways? That's what she did, and it was so loud that all 300 heads turned to look and see what was the matter. She bent over and was shaking from trying to hold back her laughter so I started pounding her back, trying to play it off like she was suppressing a coughing fit and then covered my own mouth and pretended to cough because I was starting to get the giggles as well. We had it under control when she sat up, looked at me and again went, "PPPPFFFFF!!!!!!". This time the minister noticed. I bent over and was shaking in uncontrollable, silent laughter and then the friend started laughing out loud because she couldn't hold it in any longer. She was covering her mouth as tight as she could and was almost laying on the floor trying to hide. Pretty soon, the minister's wife who was in front of us, started giggling as well. The service ended with us giggling right through the closing prayer. We were so embarrassed that we had to go apologize to the minister AND his wife. It didn't help when my friend offered them one of her mints............

Answer 2

A few years ago I was the soundman for a wedding ceremony for a couple of our church members. I was given a cassette tape to play at a specified time, and told that it was preset.

When the pastor gave me the signal to play it, at a most solemn moment out from the speakers came, "Shut Up Stupid, You Know I Love You!"

All of a sudden my brain shut down, I could not find the "off" button on the music player. The pastor then signaled to turn it off. The person who gave me the tape arrived to my rescue.

All I wanted to do was crawl under the table! After all was said and done, this was hilarious, but at the time, I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed!

Answer 3

My father in law just died at 93 yrs of age. He was Catholic and so we had the full Rosary and Church Services and Burial.
Sometimes I would go to church with him to make him happy (I am not Catholic) and he used to get bored with the priests sermon and he used to hit a button on his watch and a Rooster used to Cock-a-Doodle-Doo over and over in church. I was so embarassed and wanted to hide under the pew. He always looked around puzzled with a big smile on his face trying to act like "who is the world is doing that". It was annoying but precious.

So we just had the funeral and after the Rosary we got the cool idea to put his Rooster howling watch in the casket with him. Once the lid was closed you could not hear it. So here we are in church with smiles on our faces because we just knew he was pushing the button (actually it goes off on the hour anyway if set properly) and the Rooster was cheering him up.
It is JOY just to think of it. I am happy to know he has the watch he loved.

Answer 4

my parents drug us to one of the Faith healer tent revival meetings back in the 80's, they were so bad I remember the names the Hunters (go figure, preying upon the gullible)

when they did thier alter call, many went up for "the spirit" and when the time came for the ministers to hype up the crowd, someone assumed they were going to be caught (usually the staged actions have people behind to catch when they "fall" when pushed just right on the forehead) and this old guy fell down so hard he hurt himself and needed ambulatory care -cement floors

I still fell for the religion (8 yrs old) but that was enough for my older brother and sister...they knew it immediately the religion was a farce and left christianity alone after that

Answer 5

Back in the early '60s at an all-boys boarding school, six of us used to go to a Church equi-distant to the closest all-girls boarding school, for the obvious reason. Well, we ended up just barely stifling ourselves in the back row - week after week - because the minister was almost exactly like Peter Cook's portrayal of the marrying-bishop in "The Princess Bride." It was hilarious! (And the After-Meetings were often "productive".)

Answer 6

During morning 7am Mass a cat walked into the church, he sat in the aisle most of the time and at Communion time walked around the altar area. He was quite respectful never meowed once he left once the ceremony was complete, never saw him again.

Answer 7

there was at one time in a church i went to ... they had the doors and windows open and the ac was off or out or somthing ... anyway this cat was walking around in the church and hanging out in the solemn sermon ... there was a couple of large older fans with the metal blades ... anway, this cat somehow got its tail or somthing in one of those fans and MAN it was loud ...lol MEOWWWWWW ...

Answer 8

I no longer go to church, but back when I used to go, which was several years ago, once everybody in the congregation, INCLUDING me, fell asleep during the sermon.

Answer 9

what are you trying to say.

Answer 10

Damn, you're one twisted human.