What to do after you throw your life away?

Question

I got accepted to a decent university and went to a lesser one. I was interested in a degree in sciences/math but got one in literature because it was much easier and i just gave up. Especially after I failed 2 computer science classes - one of which I thought I had dropped. When employers look at my resume they notice that my interests seem quite different from my area of study. I still imagine what I'd have liked to study if I had a chance to go back and do things differently. If I start to work on another BA now, at 28, that would just be odd and I would mostly be doing it because I feel bad about my past. My career interests don't require getting a masters degree or higher. Ever since I graduated I haven't worked much except at embarrassing/low paying jobs and I've been severely depressed for years. Can I ever feel any better about myself or am I doomed to be miserable?

Answer 1

lt is not over until you say it is over. I earned my associates degree from lndiana University at age 39, significantly later than you earned your Bachelors. The reality is to get a second degree in an area of study you want will be relatively simple compared to the first degree because many of your credit hours will transfer. In my humble opinion you underestimate your own potential. Be brave enough to dream and courageous enough to see them through. Bottom line if getting what you really want was easy everyone would do it. Now, the ball is in your court take your shot or accept defeat without trying. Truth is you have nothing to lose and relative happiness to gain. E mail me if you like. Good luck.

Answer 2

While it may feel as though you have thrown your life away - really, you haven't .. There are very few things that is a waste of a good life. I just turned 27 years old, and I am going to college for the first time ever, come August. I spent the majority of my teens and early 20's in and out of treatment centers and therapy. Truly the only thing I had to show for my life was the mere fact that I was alive. I had no schooling, not many friends, very little stability. I ended up going broke and filing for bankrupcy. But today - my life is on an upward climb. I may not have alot of life experience that is listed under headings on resume's, or a college degree, or even much money to speak of.. But I'm working on it. There are so many people in this world who do things they think they "should" - but really they are miserable. Who sets standars for what we should do? Who we should be? Who says that it would be odd for you to start another BA? Would you rather get into something that you will be miserable with just because that's the way it "should have gone"; Point being, life is kind of like a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs and trials and tribulations and growth and experience, and I think there are very few things in life that could be defined as failure. It has been my experience that everyone has something that they feel bad about in their past - but everything we go through is a learning experience, a lesson, and an opportunity to allow that experience to make us - or break us; Whichever we choose - is up to us. But the experience in and of itself does not have that power.

You most certainly can feel better, and no you are not doomed to be miserable forever. Maybe look on the internet for like-minded individuals in the same position as you, or even talk to a councelor or find a book in the self help section. There are many resources out there in this world, that are at our disposal.

Best of luck to you !!

Answer 3

You're still young! You can certainly turn things around!

I think the first step is to start talking to a therapist. It sounds as though you've felt bad about yourself and doubted yourself for a long time...perhaps the reason that you chose the easier course in college. You need to talk to someone about your feelings and your history. It sounds like you've gotten into a vicious cycle of feeling bad about yourself, then doing things to reinforce those bad feelings (such as working at jobs that are beneath you). The best way to break the pattern is to get into therapy.

Getting another BA because you feel bad about your earlier choice doesn't sound like a bad thing. A second degree won't take you the full four years. And employers would probably give you credit for going back to school to get training in an area that interests you. That shows commitment and determination.

You still have so much time left in your life! Once you get out from under the depression, there's no telling what you can achieve!

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Of course you can feel better! Sometimes this requires medication and support to get you out of the tunnel and this is fine too. You are only feeling bad because your core knows you are capable of much more than you are giving - we only get pleasure for doing things that are incredibly hard - try doing something small that is challenging and see how you feel at the end.
Re-evaluate where you are at now - doesn't sound to me like you're very interested in doing the degree you 'should' have done - so what are you really interested in now and how could that become a career?? Take each day at a time and be kind to yourself - you are going through a big life change. Watch lots of comedy and spend time with uplifting people - laugh as much as you can and look after your body with good food. The answers will come, but they can only come from deep inside of you :)

Answer 5

Have you thought about speaking to a counselor? Sometimes that helps, and it could also be that you are depressed.

Hey there is nothing wrong with going back to school. You know I've made mistakes in my life and I've been in college for 6 years now and haven't finish my degree yet. I took a few semesters off, worked full time, have 2 kids now.... but I'm determined to finish. I felt embarassed at one point and even though of quiting. But you know learn from your past mistakes and don't let the past dictate your future. As for me it did help to seek counseling because I went through some rough patches as well. And yes you can feel better about yourself but remember it'll take some time for your mindset to change.

Answer 6

my friend has a BA in tv/film production major with a minor in music composition. He makes over $200k as a computer programmer consultant. he did not major in computer science. but got the experience by taking courses, getting certified in the field and working at low-level jobs like in academic computing, help-desk. after college, he immediately became a consultant and started getting various odd jobs through people he knew by networking. once he had a little exp. under his belt and a few good references in the field, he started looking to headhunters in technology field who started getting him jobs. i'm not sure this is your area...but it is an example of using your experience and background to get ahead. it is not too late, you do not need to go back to school. perhaps take some courses in the field you wish to pursue, get an internship, low-leve job and start working your way up. make sure you know your field in and aout. though, so you don't appear wishy-washy to prospective employers. if they ask why you majored in literature...don't say "because it was easy." Turn it into a positive and say how well it has prepared you for where you are today! there are so many people with undergrad degrees in fields that have nothing to do with their careers. you just need a good attitude, good itnerpersonal skills, and ability to move forward...good luck!

ps. get the book, "what color is your parachute" excellent book helping people like you redesign your dream career from a career that is totally non-existent or unrelated

Answer 7

You will become better in every single way than the average civilian puke who spends his time watching TV and getting fat. I was in the same situation that you were in, so here's how I thought about it. The average kid who graduates from high school goes to college because their parents want them to or because they think that's how they'll get a job. Great for them, but most likely when they get out of college, they'll be in debt because of student loans and have a crappy job. Most of them will live normal lives, most will get married and have kids, and play it safe. For me the military offers something that college never will. Honor, Courage, Commitment are all things that have been drilled into me since day one. Those are things that many in the civilian world do not have. You will meet possibly the best friends you'll ever have, they become your new family. None of your college friends will jump on a grenade for you or carry you on their backs if you get shot. On top of that life experience, you do get the GI Bill, and while active duty the military pays for schooling. You'll be debt free, and be better off than any average college grad. Sure you could be killed instantly by an IED on some god forsaken road in Afghanistan, but everyone dies. You can either die doing something you love, or you can die old in bed of cancer or some other disease.

Answer 8

The world you live in is perceived by "its" inhabitants through judgments based on the observations of other more experienced people that appeal to "there" desires. so the very basis in which "they" see the world is formed by creatures that are very short lived who have a history, philosophy and religion written in complete vanity. who in hard work and striving to get 'ahead' die regardless of wealth, status, fame in fact one in a million people actually do actually advance the human species. possibly the only value people that exist ( What I'm saying is no average man is doing anything more grandiose than you really, its just the primitive judgment system is bringing you down.) I was only educated till the age of 14 where philosophical disagreement IE ( monkeys butting head with monkeys ) saw me removed from the education system I have since lived my life as a muso really just surviving but still loving every day learning, creating discussing got nothing but a love for it all. ---So just use your opportunity to have had an "education" to do something ******* amazing. Best way to beat depression is to strive for some real good then all else seems to fall in place in "your" own life. I don't know how .every thing seems to be built on a simple sum, as soon as you take steps as simple as talking to people about wanting to something a little grand the machine starts to tick. what do you and this world is all for you you are the highest authority in your life and your hi,est priority all the best 'Steve'

Answer 9

Your past is water under the bridge. You can change the past by looking to the future.

Seems to me that you need to do some serious soul searching and figure out what it is in life that you most enjoy related to your career and then go for it.

Money will not buy you happiness. We spend a very large amount of time in our life working on a job.

Myself the key to life is not how much money you make at your job, rather if you can get up in the morning and feel 100% happy about your job and how you are going to spend your day.

People who enjoy their work live alot longer and are much less prone to having a heart attack with a job that they hate and unable to leave because of benefits, etc. etc.

Forget the past and look to the future. Life is really worth living and you must learn to enjoy life and get the most out of life as life is quite short.

Wish you all the best.

Minddoctor, France,
Pls. excuse my english

Answer 10

Start fresh. Create a new you- a you that YOU will be happy with. Forget about the past. My motto is: Don't look back into the past; the past sucks. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes. Don't look too far into the future because then you can be disappointed easier. That only leaves you with the present and the present isn't too bad. And when there is a bad part in the present, just give it time and it will become the past you will never look back at. Good luck! ;)